A wonderful story about gender non-conformity, and a teacher who cared

[Ms. Toad]

http://bit.ly/t88tOh

I didn’t want to assume I knew how Allie wanted me to respond to the continual gender mistakes, so I made a phone call home and Allie’s mom put me on speakerphone.

“Allie,” she said, “Ms. Melissa is on the phone. She would like to know if you want her to correct your classmates when they say you are a boy, or if you would rather that she just doesn’t say anything.”

Allie was shy on the phone. “Um … tell them that I am a girl,” she whispered.

The next day when I corrected classmates and told them that Allie was a girl, they asked her a lot of questions that she wasn’t prepared for: “Why do you look like a boy?” “If you’re a girl, why do you always wear boys’ clothes?” Some even told her that she wasn’t supposed to wear boys’ clothes if she was a girl. It became evident that I would have to address gender directly in order to make the classroom environment more comfortable for Allie and to squash the gender stereotypes that my 1st graders had absorbed in their short lives.

[Zenlitened]

1. Very, very nice. Thanks for sharing!

BTW, here is the direct link to the post on Tumblr:

http://togetherforjacksoncountykids.tumblr.com/post/14314184651/one-teachers-approach-to-preventing-gender-bullying-in

[Ms. Toad]

3. I just created a bit.ly

since the direct link seemed to truncate when I posted it. Yours looks truncated, as well (at the same place mine seemed to truncate) but it seems to work.

[iris27]

2. K&R!

[a2liberal]

4. K&R for a great story (n/t)

[RueVoltaire]

5. Kick and rec!

[Autumn Colors]

6. Beautiful! K&R (nt)

[lib_wit_it]

7. The sad thing is that in many schools Ms. Melissa would be getting a lot of push-back from parents

who would see the grandmother as the hero in this story.

I hope Ms. Melissa doesn't have to deal with negative responses, and that she can handle it and be supported by the administration if she does.

[Politicalboi]

8. Like myself, this little girl

Will be mistaken for a boy, teased, and possibly have to fight boys. I wish her all the luck in the world. It's a tough life for a kid. I was teased by my brothers, and always got mistaken for a boy. Fought in school a number of times, and each fight was me and a boy. I can still remember their names. That was in the 60's and 70's so hopefully she will have it easier. And it's a good thing this teacher got involved.

[Ms. Toad]

10. Thank you for sharing!

This issue is very tender for me currently - my high school sweetheart (same era as you) came out to me as trans recently. Although her issues were different than this little girl, the lifetime of living with a body that has never matched her knowledge of who she is had taken (and continues to take) a heavy toll.

I am so grateful that she was willing to risk my reaction and share her life with me. The transformation in our relationship is nothing short of miraculous, and my delight in who she is (her description) has supported her dabbling her toes farther in the coming out stream - and she now, for the first time in her life, able to imagine that someday she may be able to live as herself. (I'm not claiming credit for her moving in this direction - but as the first outsider she told, a bad - or even hesitant - reaction would have been so discouraging.)

None of us should ever have to doubt that we will be able to live as ourselves - or be made to feel that our gender presentation is "wrong." Every time I hear a story like this one I rejoice in the hope it brings - and ache for my sweetheart who, as a child, was never allowed to hope.

[Zenlitened]

13. You are awesome X one million!

Your high school sweetheart is very lucky to have you in her life at this time of transformation.

[Ms. Toad]

14. And I am very lucky to have her.

It's our own little mutual admiration and support society - at a time we both really need it! (And finding each other again after 30+ years of separation - at times estrangement - is so sweet!)

[MNBrewer]

9. Teachers

the most important, least appreciated people in this country.

[yardwork]

11. Thank you for posting this.

[DirkGently]

12. Nicely done.