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(10,237 posts)
Sun Jan 12, 2014, 06:55 PM Jan 2014

Once upon a time, a LONG time ago,...

...I was VERY homophobic.I was young, in college in the 70s, it was a time when LGBT people were first coming out and no longer buying into society's horseshit about homosexuality being a mental disorder or a disease or a perversion. I remember many people introducing themselves by saying something like "Hi, I'm Bob and I'm gay"!

I can say 2 things to explain it. First, it's what I was taught. Second, like many other men my age, I had the misconception that any gay man was automatically lusting uncontrollably for my measly little pecker!

I don't know just exactly when it was or what happened to change my mind to the vast degree that it has, but it certainly did the trick! I think that possibly one of the first steps was the great respect that I've always had for Diana Nyad, who is probably my favorite non-tennis athlete ever. Over time I realized that for "the American Dream" to be real, it had to be real for everybody, no matter their race, religion, nationality or whom they love. I also realized that everyone in this life has the right to love and be loved, weather by someone of the same or opposite gender. My wife and I happily and proudly supported Marriage Equality with both our advocacy and our votes, both in 2009, when it lost up here in Maine, and in 2012, when we became, along with a few other states, the first state to legalize Marriage Equality by popular vote.

As I've mentioned before, I play Santa every Christmas. About 10 days before Christmas last month, I was pumping some gas in my "secret identity" but wearing a red sweat shirt with my beard in full flowing when a young couple with a little girl about 7years old. The little girl saw me, giggled and waved while I did a big "Ho, Ho, Ho". I went into the store and the young mom told me that I'd made her daughter's day. I asked if she were in the car with her dad and the young woman said that the little girl was with "her other mom". I gave her a great big ho, ho, ho and said that THIS Santa loves ALL families!

Anyway, maybe some of you will tell me that I don't have to apologize for what happened nearly 40 years ago, but I still feel bad about my homophobia to this day, even though I NEVER did anything violent or verbally abrasive/abusive to an LGBT person.

That's my 2 cents, and quite possibly overpriced at that!


6 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Once upon a time, a LONG time ago,... (Original Post) MarianJack Jan 2014 OP
Ho Ho Ho :) NCLefty Jan 2014 #1
Ho, Ho, Ho... MarianJack Jan 2014 #2
It's hard to escape the crap we were indoctrinated into believing. xfundy Jan 2014 #3
I think that's exactly how we escape America's bigoted past (and present). NCLefty Jan 2014 #4
Well said, NCLefty! MarianJack Jan 2014 #6
Thankd for your response, xfundy. MarianJack Jan 2014 #5


(5,105 posts)
3. It's hard to escape the crap we were indoctrinated into believing.
Sun Jan 12, 2014, 08:33 PM
Jan 2014

I finally realized I wasn't going to "grow out of" being gay at about 18, but still kept it a secret from friends and family for many years. Now, they all know, since I told a relative who swore she could keep a secret. And they're still "Christian" rednecks, and we don't see each other, and that's fine with me.

Now, I was raised to be southern batshit, with all the inherent racism, and though I've eliminated every conscious racist thought, sometimes the old conditioning still pops into my head and is struck down yet again. Typically it's happened when someone is rude or unpleasant.

Same thing happens sometimes about certain gay people -- "stupid f*g," I've thought to myself. It's far easier to go with the lizard brain than to actually think, and it will probably never be defeated, but I don't have to obey it.


(3,678 posts)
4. I think that's exactly how we escape America's bigoted past (and present).
Sun Jan 12, 2014, 09:00 PM
Jan 2014

We can't always help our thoughts, but we can acknowledge when they're wrong and cast them aside in favor of what we know is right.

Sorry to hear about your family. You're not alone in that issue. Create the family you need and cherish that one


(10,237 posts)
5. Thankd for your response, xfundy.
Sun Jan 12, 2014, 09:10 PM
Jan 2014

My father & stepmother were virulently anti-gay. My mom just considered gays to be "sick". It took a long time for me to grow beyond that. My mom did, too, a few years before she passed away almost 8 years ago.


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