Asexual Awareness Week

[LostOne4Ever]

Last edited Sun Sep 6, 2015, 08:08 AM - Edit history (2)

For a long time I was confused about my sexuality.

I thought I was straight, but something just was not right with that identity. While I did feel an attraction to the opposite gender, something about this attraction did not feel like the attractions my friends felt. In fact it was different from the attraction every other person I knew seemed to have.

Then, around the time I first joined DU, I came across a series of articles on the huffington post about asexuality. It was eye opening and drew a picture that looked like me in a lot of different ways. It led me to look up more information from the Asexuality Visibility & Education Network and then to make a post here on DU asking about asexuality.

Even now, a year later, I still find the whole thing confusing. How do you know that you are lacking sexual attraction if you have never experienced it? How does one separate sexual attraction from romantic attraction or sensual attraction? But the more I thought about it, the more certain I have become that I simply do not have any desire to engage in intercourse.

Starting today, October 26, and ending November 1st it is Asexual Awareness Week, and I wanted to mark the occasion by making a post here in the LGBT group about the hidden orientation:

[div style='color: purple;font-size: 2.5em;'][center] Asexuality [/center]

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[div style='color: purple;font-size: 1.25em;'][center]What exactly is asexuality?[/center]

Asexuality is a sexual orientation in which a person (sometimes called an Ace) does not experience sexual attraction or sexual desire directed toward others. This is in contrast to celibacy where one experience sexuality but chooses to refrain from engaging in sexual activity due to some reason other than lack of desire or attraction.

For instance they might abstain because of their religious views or wanting to save one's self for marriage. To put it another way, celibacy is a choice; while asexuality, is not.

[div style='color: purple;font-size: 1.25em;'][center]What do you mean by sexual attraction?[/center]

Sexual attraction is an attraction one person has toward another for the purpose of having sexual intercourse.

This is different from romantic attraction, in which one desires an emotional relationship with another person. It is also different from sensual attraction in which one desires physical contact (such as cuddling) with another person, but not necessary sex.

There is also yet another type of attraction that one can experience called an aesthetic attraction. This is an attraction to another person not based on any type of desire to do anything with the other person.

[div style='color: purple;font-size: 1.25em;'][center]Does that mean an Asexual can be romantically attracted to someone but not sexually?[/center]

Exactly!

Again, Asexuals, by definition, do not experience sexual attractions or desire toward others. However, an asexual may (or may not) experience romantic or sensual attractions to other people. An asexual who experiences romantic attractions to others can be designated as heteroromantic, homoromantic, gynoromantic, androromantic, or a variety of other terms. Conversely, when one does not experience romantic attraction/desire that person could be classified as being aromantic.

As an example, an asexual man who is romantically attracted to another man could be described as an homoromantic asexual or an androromantic asexual. Similarly, an asexual person could experience no romantic attractions at all, in which case they might identify as an aromantic asexual or aro-ace for short.

[div style='color: purple;font-size: 1.25em;'][center]So asexuals never engage in sex? Or if they do, then they are no longer asexual?[/center]

Incorrect. Many (but not all) asexuals actually do engage in sex; however, they do so not out of desire but usually for other reasons.

For example, an asexual may choose to engage in intercourse to please a romantic partner or because he/she/that one wishes to have children. Regardless of the reason, just because an asexual chooses to engage in sexual relations does not mean they are no longer an asexual.

Asexuality is an orientation and so long as one does not experience sexual desire or attraction they are still asexual.

[div style='color: purple;font-size: 1.25em;'][center]What if I do experience sexual attraction but its very low? [/center]

Asexuality, like sexuality, exists on a spectrum. Some people experience low sex drive or low sexual attraction. Others only experience these feelings only time to time. These people sometimes choose to identify as Grey A.

Still, others only experience sexual attraction once they have a deep emotional bond with another person. These people may choose to identify as Demisexuals. These are just a few of the many labels that one can find under the asexual umbrella.

[div style='color: purple;font-size: 1.25em;'][center] Do you know of some resources where I learn more about asexuality?[/center]

You can find more about asexuality and Asexuality Awareness Week below:

http://www.asexuality.org/home/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/news/asexuality/

http://asexualawarenessweek.com/

https://www.facebook.com/aceawareness

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mandyw9/things-that-you-should-know-about-asexuality-9e2q

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So, in conclusion, I would like to thanks the LGBT group here at DU for your time and help you gave me over a year ago; and I would like to wish you all a happy Asexual Awareness Week!

Now, anyone up for some cake?

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[theHandpuppet]

1. Thanks for sharing such an important message.

[nirvana555]

2. Thank you for posting. This is something that most folks don't understand and know

very little about.

[LostOne4Ever]

4. Had I not come upon those articles and DU a while back I would still be confused

So I think getting the word out is important and this week is the perfect opportunity to do so.

Thanks for the comment!

[LostOne4Ever]

3. and thank you for the kind comment!

[nomorenomore08]

5. The human libido ranges widely. I figure asexuals are simply at the low end of the scale.

[LostOne4Ever]

6. There are no doubt some who fall into that category

However, that has not been my personal experience. My experience has simply been that I am not interested in act of sex. According to everything I have read this not the case for many other asexuals as well.

For example, according to this website:

http://asexualawarenessweek.com/asexuality-101/

How can you be asexual but have a sex drive? Isn't that impossible?

Sexual orientation and sex drive are two separate things. Asexuals with a libido experience what is sometimes called an “undirected sex drive”. Whereas most people would ideally satisfy their libido through partnered sexual activity, for asexuals with a libido this is usually not the case, as they are not sexually attracted to anyone

There has not been much research on this in humans but they have done some studies with Rams and found no difference in Hormone levels:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality#Sexual_activity_and_sexuality

Though comparisons with non-human sexuality are problematic, a series of studies done on ram mating preferences at the United States Sheep Experiment Station in Dubois, Idaho, starting in 2001 found that about 2–3% of the animals being studied had no apparent interest in mating with either sex; the researchers classified these animals as asexual, but found them to be otherwise healthy with no recorded differences in hormone levels.[44][45]

The way I think about it is think of a strict Lesbian. Just because she is not sexually attracted to a man does not mean she does not have a sex drive. Just that she has no interest in having sex with men.

[nomorenomore08]

7. Yeah, that makes sense. I was just making the point that sexuality and sex drive are a spectrum

and that what counts as "normal" is totally dependent on the individual.