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Mon Jan 9, 2017, 02:30 PM

 

my daughter is so terrified.

she is young, medically fragile and gender queer. androgynous.
she has ptsd, and is being triggered to within an inch of her sanity.
she is on disability. she is still on her dad's insurance, but when that ends, she will have to depend on medicaid. this is terrifying on about a thousand fronts.
i just dont know what to do. i can tell her that i would put myself in front of a battalion of tanks for her, which she knows, but what else can i do?? even promising to hide her doesnt help, because who wants to be hidden?

she has been bugging me to get my dual irish citizenship, which she could then apply for. i dont really have the time to do that right now, but i guess i must. at least she will have something to hang onto.

so many of her friends are in fear for their lives. all already feel the pall that has descended.
all i have is my unconditional love and support for her and her friends, a place to stay if they need it, and my pledge to put my life out there to save hers if it comes to it.

this is the one thing about the election that really strikes me to the core. here i am w tears streaming down my face for the first time since that awful night. i fear i may not be able to stop any time soon.

what are all of you doing to cope w your fears?
what is left of hope? anything?

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Mon Jan 9, 2017, 02:36 PM

1. My Irish Passport arrived in December

The form is pretty simple and short , the fee is $120 and it only took 5 weeks from sending it in to getting the Fedex with the passport in it. The form only took 30 mins to fill-in. Hardest part was then finding someone to sign as a "witness" - you need to find a doctor , lawyer , banker or other professional to sign passport photos , my bank manager wouldn't do it.

Worth it for peace of mind if nothing else.

https://www.dfa.ie/passports-citizenship/how-to-apply-for-a-passport/

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Response to pkdu (Reply #1)

Mon Jan 9, 2017, 02:41 PM

3. dont you have to be enrolled first as a citizen born abroad?

 

i know they made the process much easier than it used to be.
but i think i still need the birth cert of one of my irish born grandparents. after that, my kids can apply.

has that changed?

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Response to mopinko (Reply #3)

Mon Jan 9, 2017, 02:56 PM

5. It is much easier now , and most of it online...but you are right ,

grandparent route is a little more cumbersome...

You need to have Birth/Marriage Certs or request an original / certified copy

http://www.hse.ie/eng/services/list/1/bdm/Certificates/

Takes about 10 days and costs 20 euro per document.

Documentation Requirments
Your Irish-born grandparentís details

Original Long form Civil Birth Certificate (plus photocopy)
Original Civil Marriage Certificate (if married) - Church certificates are NOT acceptable (plus photocopy)
Original Divorce Decree (final) if Divorced and Current Civil Marriage Certificate ( if remarried) (plus photocopy)
Declaration of Alienage (if they ever renounced their Irish citizenship)
Certified/Notarized Copy of current passport or identity document (e.g. Driver's Licence)
Original Death Certificate if Deceased (plus photocopy)
Deed poll (if they ever changed their name). Original must be submitted and must have been valid for at least two years (plus photocopy). Two documents showing proof of usage in the newly acquired name - e.g. Bank Statements, Utility Bills that are at least two years old - must also accompany the deed poll.

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Response to pkdu (Reply #5)

Mon Jan 9, 2017, 03:03 PM

7. thanks much for the link.

 

i have most of the american docs i need, and i have a ton of info on my dad's family.
i was hoping to use this as an excuse to research my mom's side of the family. i hit a dead end there, as she had no birth certificate. i suspect she was born at home. i know that when she got a passport she got hassled because of that. i know there is a baptismal cert out there somewhere.
i have some clues where they are, but the church has been gone for a long time.

will hit the link and see what i can come up with tho, thanks much.

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Response to mopinko (Reply #7)

Mon Jan 9, 2017, 03:07 PM

9. I do genealogy research as a hobby - DUemail me if you want help with that

I have my own "Irish Brick wall" I'm looking into.

Cheers

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Response to pkdu (Reply #9)

Mon Jan 9, 2017, 03:10 PM

10. well let me know if you bump into an online database

 

for cook county church records. i know there are a couple of paper repositories that i can get to, but i havent found it online.
the church was called st finnbar's.

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Mon Jan 9, 2017, 02:39 PM

2. Medicaid varies greatly state by state...

WRT the number and quality of providers. I know it can be intimidating and often times depressing, but many people do get quality care within Medicaid.

As for the general fear and loathing associated with the incoming administration, I wish your daughter and her friends well. It is truly a dark time that will require us all to support one another and fight injustice.

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Response to Yurovsky (Reply #2)

Mon Jan 9, 2017, 02:53 PM

4. unfortunately in illinois medicaid is under fire.

 

not sure how bad it will get, but the medical industrial complex is pretty strong around here, and has a lot of clout.

not so much worried about the quality of care, as her current docs would take medicaid. more worried about what wont be covered, and how to pay for that. there are surely bigger co-pays in her future.
tho she does also fear having docs who will treat her like shit because of who she is. some specialists are such arrogant shit heads.
she has a hard enough time. she has been tagged as a drug seeker, for no reason, and is constantly battling even our cadillac insurance over scripts.

how this kid is gonna make it through life after her dad and i are gone keeps me up nights.

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Response to mopinko (Reply #4)

Mon Jan 9, 2017, 03:00 PM

6. She'll need a strong community...

I had an uncle (who was gay) who moved to San Francisco in 1969 because he was tired of being abused and persecuted in Philly. If you're in Illinois I'm assuming somewhere around Chicago I would hope she can find a compassionate community of friends and neighbors to reside amongst. I can relate to the anxiety about after you're gone. If Trump is the direction America is headed long-term (and not an aberration, as I sincerely hope ), all of our descendants are in trouble.

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Response to Yurovsky (Reply #6)

Mon Jan 9, 2017, 03:07 PM

8. we are in chi, in the most diverse zip code in the country,

 

so there is that. she does have a wide circle of friends and allies.
this hood is the new gay mecca. been here for a long time anyway, but many moving up here from other "boystown" type hoods that have gotten pricey and full of entitled snobs.

too many rich white people moving in, too, but....

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Mon Jan 9, 2017, 03:37 PM

11. My lesbian daughter is in similar situation

She also is terrified that her wife will be denied coverage for her under her insurance, which is still extremely expensive. Unfortunately, it was my Great-Grandparents who were born in Ireland, so I cannot claim Irish Citizenship. My 1st Cousin has Dual Citizenship through his Mother (not Paternal side like mine) who was born in Ireland. I have told him NEVER RENOUNCE your Irish Citizenship especially today.

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Response to HockeyMom (Reply #11)

Mon Jan 9, 2017, 08:48 PM

13. if there is anyone alive who can claim it,

 

i am told they are very likely to grant it to those down the line. some good advice on that above.

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Mon Jan 9, 2017, 04:05 PM

12. We will endure.

We have endured centuries of hate, bigotry and misinformation. We have endured the closet, forced sterilizations and murder. We can endure this too.

We cannot be erased because we are everyone, everywhere, from every walk of life. We will continue to be born even if the haters struck us all down because we are a natural part of the human species.

I keep reminding myself of this. I try to take solace in the knowledge that we have come so far and once cultural normalization has happened, it cannot really be permanently undone. We are too visible now thanks to technology that humanizes us through exposure.

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Response to arithia (Reply #12)

Mon Jan 9, 2017, 09:04 PM

14. thank you so much for that.

 

as an invisible old woman, i sort of have the opposite situation, but really, the same. i am the daughter of the witches their ancestors couldnt burn.

yes, a natural part of the human species. i put a lot of stock in the idea of evolutionary psychology (misused as it has been.) if we can have drone bees, we can have members of the tribe not actively involved in reproduction, or outside monogamous relationships. built in foster parents are a great thing in a tribe, as are those who have more energy for artistic pursuits, because they are not weighted down by offspring, especially gangs of offspring.
in college i was taught about native tribes that honored those w 2 spirits. this has to be a thing.
i think us humans come in several flavors, even outside gender and sex. i have a kid i think is a natural warrior. another that i think is sort of a natural hermit (read- natural sperm bank). and artists all over in the family tree. genetically weird everywhere.

and you are right, suppression has always failed in the end. many around here have been in the battle for a long time. she has a web wrapped around her that she doesnt even see.

if i have anything to say about it, she will endure.

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Response to mopinko (Reply #14)

Mon Jan 9, 2017, 09:50 PM

15. *grin*

i am the daughter of the witches their ancestors couldnt burn.


So many of us are. It shows how badly their hatred failed them in the end. We still endure despite all their efforts.

History is filled with civilizations that have embraced LGTBQA people. We have been kings, queens, warriors, poets and scholars dating back to the dawn of written word. The haters have tried to take our history from us, erasing us as they have women and minorities from western history. We are taking it back. Maybe it would help her (as it did me) to learn more about these figures. It's a reminder that we are not alone. We are not the first. Times change and this too shall pass.

Much love to your daughter from a fellow genderqueer with PTSD.


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