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Mon Oct 30, 2017, 05:49 PM

Being gay is a choice ?

Actor Kevin Spacey today, in his 'sort of apology'
for attempting to molest a 14 year old boy years ago,
said that he now chooses to live as a gay man.

I get what he tried to say:
that he's had relationships with men and women over the years,
but now he 'chooses' to live as a gay man.

It just sounded wrong.

I never had to choose between 'John' or 'Joanie'. (I always knew I liked 'John')

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Reply Being gay is a choice ? (Original post)
left-of-center2012 Oct 2017 OP
unblock Oct 2017 #1
Chasstev365 Oct 2017 #2
DonViejo Oct 2017 #3
Odoreida Oct 2017 #4
left-of-center2012 Oct 2017 #5
Odoreida Nov 2017 #6
left-of-center2012 Nov 2017 #7
Beautiful NM Nov 2017 #8

Response to left-of-center2012 (Original post)

Mon Oct 30, 2017, 06:03 PM

1. i think he meant what he said.

he didn't say he had a choice in *being* gay, but he did have a choice in how to live his life.

gay people can choose to live a life of denial. it's not the life that a compassionate and open society would want to push anyone into, so there's societal pressure (coercion, really) involved; but given those societal pressures, gay people do have a choice, to live in denial, to live in the closet, or to live openly gay.

i think that's the "choice" he's talking about.

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Response to left-of-center2012 (Original post)

Mon Oct 30, 2017, 06:08 PM

2. No!

 

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Response to left-of-center2012 (Original post)

Mon Oct 30, 2017, 06:20 PM

3. I have a couple of friends that are bi;

if they are dating someone of their same gender, describe it the same, "I choose to be gay/lesbian right now."

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Response to left-of-center2012 (Original post)

Tue Oct 31, 2017, 07:41 PM

4. Here's my own case.

 

I am an older man, 100% out and 100% gay.

But when I was in my twenties, I tried to "straighten myself out" with women.

Did I "choose to be gay" when I stopped kidding myself?

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Response to Odoreida (Reply #4)

Tue Oct 31, 2017, 08:00 PM

5. I don't know

For me it was more of 'accepting' who I am/was,
rather than a choice.

Curious what you mean by saying you are 'an older man'.
I'm 71.

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Response to left-of-center2012 (Reply #5)

Wed Nov 1, 2017, 05:29 AM

6. You're two years older than me.

 

I wasn't addressing you in particular, I just get the impression that most of the people around here are much younger than us.

Not sure why I have that impression now that I think of it.

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Response to Odoreida (Reply #6)

Wed Nov 1, 2017, 08:45 AM

7. I have the impression everyone is younger.

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Response to Odoreida (Reply #6)

Wed Nov 1, 2017, 05:43 PM

8. I do too

 

but being 70 I think that might be correct. I rejected the closet life at 25, 45 years ago. Things were a bit different in 1972 but I was enjoying life as I was meant to. If K. Spacey had come out when he was younger he would not be in the situation he is in today.

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