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(4,810 posts)
Tue May 30, 2023, 11:44 PM May 2023

My brother and his family live in Florida.

Their lives are rooted there. I am in a very wonderful relationship with a man that I met 24 years ago and married 19 years ago. I am from a very small town in North Carolina. As a gay male, it was far from easy growing up there. But, I 'escaped' I suppose. Now, I will be going back to my favorite part of North Carolina (The Outer Banks) and I have invited my brother and his family to visit us there. I was thinking about this earlier today. This may be the last time I ever see my nephew or his parents in person. The state they live in has become literally too dangerous for myself and my husband to set foot in. My brother and his family cannot move and I suspect that his wife would not want to. (It is proximity to her family that is the reason. She does not want to get too far away I guess.) I think it finally hit me earlier today that if they do come, it may well be that I won't see my nephew again except for images and short videos. He is three. It is possible that he may never know me except for the same things mentioned before. But the fact that I, as an American citizen, have to stay out of other parts of this same country because I might be injured or killed, is beyond insane to me. But, my husband and I agree that it is dangerous to go to Florida. So, unless they come up to N.C. for our visit, I won't see him again because of a psycho fascist who thinks he is the next savior.

How fucked up is that?

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My brother and his family live in Florida. (Original Post) OldBaldy1701E May 2023 OP
It's not just DeFascist -- it's that FL voters would vote for someone like him. eppur_se_muova May 2023 #1
I know right? (n/t) OldBaldy1701E May 2023 #3
very. AllaN01Bear May 2023 #2
I am a fan of the Keys and the Panhandle. OldBaldy1701E May 2023 #4
I'm sorry you have to deal with this. calimary May 2023 #5
Thanks. I am sorry too. But they want this and we have to show the world that they want this. (n/t) OldBaldy1701E May 2023 #24
So f'cked up! Completely agree. ALBliberal May 2023 #6
It sure is. OldBaldy1701E May 2023 #23
Albuquerque should probably change to ABQLiberal!! ALBliberal May 2023 #30
Incredibly, nauseatingly fucked up! 🤢 ShazzieB May 2023 #7
And those who support that maniac love it. (n/t) OldBaldy1701E May 2023 #22
I would go. carpetbagger May 2023 #8
That is true about 'rogue violence' but that is not the insidiousness of their position. OldBaldy1701E May 2023 #21
There's always the call to corporate HQ carpetbagger May 2023 #31
It is awful that our society moniss May 2023 #9
Yep. OldBaldy1701E May 2023 #20
Right you are moniss May 2023 #26
deSantis won't be there forever NJCher May 2023 #10
I hear you on that. OldBaldy1701E May 2023 #19
Sorry to hear that, OldBaldy1701E. I live in North Carolina, and I'm here to tell you, it's BComplex May 2023 #11
Oh, I know. OldBaldy1701E May 2023 #15
.... BComplex May 2023 #29
I am sorry for what you are going through. BlueKota May 2023 #12
Thanks. Their claims are to trick the population. OldBaldy1701E May 2023 #16
It's very fucked up. I'm so sorry this is happening. highplainsdem May 2023 #13
Thanks. I am sorry as well. OldBaldy1701E May 2023 #18
Yes. The GOP is waging a very damaging war. Irish_Dem May 2023 #14
And, it is working. OldBaldy1701E May 2023 #17
Greatest moral decline and lack of civic duty in US history. Irish_Dem May 2023 #25
When I was younger, I traveled throughout the country & the south with 3 other people. lark May 2023 #27
The problems in Florida were planned and carried out by the Republican Party. Chainfire May 2023 #28
Being from North Carolina, I can relate! (n/t) OldBaldy1701E May 2023 #32


(36,168 posts)
1. It's not just DeFascist -- it's that FL voters would vote for someone like him.
Tue May 30, 2023, 11:48 PM
May 2023

Jailing TFG will not cure the country, either, as long as there are still voters who would vote for him or one of his imitators.


(16,400 posts)
2. very.
Tue May 30, 2023, 11:49 PM
May 2023

on edit, i had a friend who lived in florida as a little girl, she hated it then too also." they were rude to the blacks". land of the free m riiiiggght.


(4,810 posts)
4. I am a fan of the Keys and the Panhandle.
Tue May 30, 2023, 11:56 PM
May 2023

I visited the Keys a few times and I toured through the Panhandle when I was doing a children's musical theater touring troupe. They live near Orlando. I have been there many times. All of it has become dangerous to someone like us. Who would have guessed?


(4,810 posts)
23. It sure is.
Wed May 31, 2023, 08:24 AM
May 2023

BTW, I am assuming that the ALB is Birmingham? How is Vulcan these days? (I have an acquaintance who is the head of a private school there. I hope he is doing okay, as he is a rather liberal person despite working in a catholic school.)


(4,364 posts)
8. I would go.
Wed May 31, 2023, 01:26 AM
May 2023

That's my personal judgment, but I moved out of Florida in 2020, and have a trans son who lives near Ocala (and is planning to leave the state next year). I also still have connections to a church in Gainesville that probably has 150-200 gay members.

There are two issues, stochastic nonstate violence and state violence. Rogue violence against gay men is still rare, probably not any worse than Eastern NC. State violence is a bully type thing, they go after the people they can control, state employees, students, etc. Much more directed at trans than cis, and at least presently more performative than not.

I don't particularly want to spend more time there than necessary, and I cut my usual two week trip to one and am only going to see my mom and son et al.

I am torn about what precautions to take. My son increasingly avoids the Panhandle, travel along some of the center rural roads (17, 27, 301), and doesn't make stops in small stores or businesses. But his situation is more complicated due to bathroom and other trans and physical appearance (e.g. 5'6&quot issues.


(4,810 posts)
21. That is true about 'rogue violence' but that is not the insidiousness of their position.
Wed May 31, 2023, 08:21 AM
May 2023

They don't have to be violent. They can just ridicule and insult and deny services. No one is going to do anything about it. Lawsuits are the only option these days. Which is hysterical to myself as only about 5% of the population can even attempt a civil lawsuit with any hope of winning. So, there are no options left but to either live as a resistance fighter or get the hell way from those insane bigots. The problem we face is that it is getting more and more difficult to 'get away' from them. Which leaves the one option that everyone seems to want to avoid, but is becoming unavoidable in my opinion.


(4,364 posts)
31. There's always the call to corporate HQ
Wed May 31, 2023, 09:43 AM
May 2023

While you'd probably get customer service happy talk and nothing more, I'm sure a report and review would happen and would be mildly painful to the regional and store management and more unpleasant for the Florida Man who decided to go Desantis on the customer.

You're right, though, wouldn't want to live there.at.this point. I will still visit my mother, but that's the only reason I plan to go to Florida. I'll also probably move out of Texas in a few years when I retire unless a have a partner who wants to stay here. Abd next renewal cycle ok moving my professional license from West Virginia (I work for the feds so it doesn't matter where I'm licensed.

Good luck.


(3,617 posts)
9. It is awful that our society
Wed May 31, 2023, 01:38 AM
May 2023

won't acknowledge the fact that we are all just people and it goes from A to Z. When you talk about it being too dangerous to go to certain parts of the country I am reminded of my youth and what could and did happen to long-haired kids from the North traveling through southern states. Many areas in the North too.


(4,810 posts)
20. Yep.
Wed May 31, 2023, 08:17 AM
May 2023

However, acknowledging that we are all just people is not profitable so that reality will never be accepted by some. All of the industries that rely on our being convinced that we need this or that to be just like the rich or that it will make us model thin or whatever all plays into that desire to keep us at each others throats so that they can milk us all and then turn around and pay their political cronies to make sure no new laws will interfere with that profit. DeSantis knows this. He revels in the fact that his ego is bigger than his white boots.


(3,617 posts)
26. Right you are
Wed May 31, 2023, 08:59 AM
May 2023

and many years ago I had a college professor who was emphatic that Madison Avenue was the source of much of our problems as a society. So many people today never lived through or don't remember how we fought against commercialism in the '50's and '60's.


(35,098 posts)
10. deSantis won't be there forever
Wed May 31, 2023, 01:54 AM
May 2023

Florida does have term limits, right?

even if he’s gone, however, it still won’t change the voters there who like what he does.

DeSantis’s changes to Florida affect all of us, but we might not realize it. It hit home to me tonight when I had to write a girlfriend of mine who lives near Treasure Island.

Her son is a police officer in another town. We all know how DeSantis has paid finders fees to get violent New York City cops who have been let go. I was concerned that my friend‘s son might encounter one of these officers that were thrown out of the force here; consequently, I wrote her and sent the article that was posted at DU.

I shudder to think of what could happen if my friend’s. son was paired with or on duty with one of these nyc officers. Imagine a George Floyd type incident, where my friends son would be present and could get drawn into lawsuits that last for years.


(4,810 posts)
19. I hear you on that.
Wed May 31, 2023, 08:13 AM
May 2023

As a 'good cop', he is in what is becoming a small minority in that community. Factor in the fascist appeal of Florida and you get those power hungry types who think they are better than everyone else because they wear a badge. Your friend's son is in danger, to be honest. I hope he manages to hang on.


(7,920 posts)
11. Sorry to hear that, OldBaldy1701E. I live in North Carolina, and I'm here to tell you, it's
Wed May 31, 2023, 02:26 AM
May 2023

getting pretty bad here, too. In case you haven't heard, the republicans OWN both houses of NC legislature, veto proof majorities in each, and they're doing bizarro shit here too. The Koch brothers bought the state during the Tea Party crap, and it's just been getting worse over the past 10 years.

As a democrat, I totally welcome you back here!! But the republicans here are feeling empowered and they have guns. Please be careful!


(4,810 posts)
15. Oh, I know.
Wed May 31, 2023, 08:02 AM
May 2023

When I remember how blue Raleigh used to be, when I remember all the times we had there without worrying about the fact that there are stupid evil people out there, I have to weep a bit because even a city with 30 higher educational choices cannot stop ignorance and maliciousness from permeating our lives. I know it is going to get worse. I miss N.C. horribly, and I will be visiting it when I can, but to think that I have to live as if I were in a combat zone just to visit my mother or brothers. (I have a few. Just the one lives in FL.)


(959 posts)
12. I am sorry for what you are going through.
Wed May 31, 2023, 04:00 AM
May 2023

The Republicans are a disgusting cult. They claim to be pro family but are separating them with these draconian policies, and their unjustifiable hatred.

Wishing you and your husband the best.


(4,810 posts)
16. Thanks. Their claims are to trick the population.
Wed May 31, 2023, 08:05 AM
May 2023

Hell, anything that comes out of the mouth of a professed rethug is automatically treated as a complete falsehood by myself. They just talk to get people to listen to their lies in the hope that they will buy into it without question. The fact that some 70 million of Americans do is one of the most frightening things I can think of.


(4,810 posts)
18. Thanks. I am sorry as well.
Wed May 31, 2023, 08:11 AM
May 2023

I feel for everyone there who is not part and parcel to this insanity. Those who are allowing it and in fact encouraging it? What I feel for them is the opposite.


(43,772 posts)
14. Yes. The GOP is waging a very damaging war.
Wed May 31, 2023, 07:11 AM
May 2023

US Civil War II, pitting Americans against each other.

The US is becoming a dangerous place.


(4,810 posts)
17. And, it is working.
Wed May 31, 2023, 08:08 AM
May 2023

The fact that it is working is the scary thing to me. It is obvious what they are doing. So, either their followers believe it, or they are just evil assholes who like inflicting pain and misery because they find it funny. Either way, people like that need to just go live in their little fiefdom and quit trying to turn the entire country into a hellhole so that they have something new to laugh about.


(22,779 posts)
27. When I was younger, I traveled throughout the country & the south with 3 other people.
Wed May 31, 2023, 09:14 AM
May 2023

I was with a guy who had hair down to his waist and a long beard, another guy with shoulder length hair and a Chinese woman. I had long Janis Joplin hair with huge octogonal pink glasses - so we basically looked like hippies. As a teenager I traveler around in TX with my cousins. The only place where I actually feared for my life was in TX. Our car would have been stolen except my German Shepherd was there. There were scratch marks on the outside from them trying to jimmy the door and sratches on the inside from Rota protecting the van. Two other times we were hasseled in that state, they even wouldn't let Linda use the telephone because she wasn't white. LA, the cops tried to shake us down (2 times) and MS got hasseled at another restaurant. I never had any issues in public places in FL. even when I was a young hippie.

I also developed rules for traveling in the south. Don't stop in small towns - ever - too risky - even to get gas. Fill up at places off the freeway, not in some podunk town, unless it's a college town. College towns and big cities are safer in general.

I'm now old and white, so not a target anymore, but my LGBTQ son still follows this and has not been hasseled here either.


(17,092 posts)
28. The problems in Florida were planned and carried out by the Republican Party.
Wed May 31, 2023, 09:21 AM
May 2023

The rise in hate crimes mirrors the rise of Republican state leadership. Republicans have given the fence-sitters license to allow their ignorance and fear to grow and prosper. Where ten years ago, bigots would keep their heads down, for the most part, they are now celebrated for exercising their right to publicly display their hate. Florida has become the shining example for Fascist all over the country. I have become deeply ashamed of my state and my fellow citizens.

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