Read NYC bartender’s awesome letter calling out hedge funder who groped her

[unhappycamper]

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/09/read-nyc-bartenders-awesome-letter-calling-out-hedge-funder-who-groped-her/

Read NYC bartender’s awesome letter calling out hedge funder who groped her
Arturo Garcia
18 Sep 2014

~snip~

Dear Brian,

You came into the restaurant where I work and ordered a Stoli on the rocks. When I asked you and your companion if you’d be eating, or needing anything else from me, you put your hand – ever so gently – ON MY ASS and asked if you could take me “to go”. When I immediately stepped away and said “Sorry, what?” you probably gathered that I was and am not receptive of such advances from customers. We were in a family-friendly restaurant, around 6:30pm, and I was wearing a loose-fitting, long sleeve shirt, jeans, and no makeup…so I’m not sure where the confusion arose as to what kind of service you were being provided. You left soon after, leaving a signed credit card slip and a two dollar tip (see picture included!). Your name is Brian Lederman. I found you, instantly, via a quick Google search online. I looked at your face on Linked In, the World’s Largest Professional Network. You work at Swiss Performance Management and Truehand AG, in Investment Management. Of course you do.

I work as a bartender, and have for more than five years now. I graduated NYU with honors, and have at some point held down every conceivable part time type job including but not limited to food service, administration, and even temp work at firms such as yours. So far, bartending allows me the most flexibility to pursue my artistic career, while comfortably covering my basic living expenses, including my outrageously high student loan payments. I have a good job that I’m grateful for. The environment is low key, I have incredibly supportive coworkers and managers, and – in general – the clientele is nice.

But I still hate being a bartender. Over the years my knowledge and skill set have expanded, but I seem to be getting worse at tolerating the “service” part. I deal with incredible amounts of entitlement, condescension, and drunk nonsense. And at a bar, it is impossible to ignore the fact that misogyny is alive and well. I can’t tell you how many times people have treated me horribly and I’ve memorized or photographed the names from their credit cards, fantasizing about internet revenge. But every time I’ve been tempted in the past (even after verbal attacks, physical affronts, or sexual harassment) I’ve stopped myself and let it go.

So congratulations, Brian! You’ve done it! You broke this tired ass camel’s back. And though this is obviously a public shaming, I truly don’t mean this as an attack. Maybe – just maybe – via the intimately connected internet world, my post will reach you, and you’ll learn something about how hurtful and upsetting a small comment or gesture might be. Or at the very least, maybe a Facebook passerby will read this and more deeply consider how they treat women, how they treat servers, and/or how they treat other people in general. And thank you. Without your inspiration I wouldn’t be quitting my job today, and endeavoring a better chapter of my life.

Love,
Laura

[Ilsa]

1. Great letter, but really, "Love, ..." ?????

Why the hell sign it "Love, Laura"?

[unhappycamper]

2. Did you read the ps from the link?

p.s. Everyone else – please be kind to your server. If your drink took a while, it might just be because your bartender was rage crying about misogyny in the bathroom. Also because if you’re not nice to her, she just might memorize the name from your credit card, find you online, hunt you down, and pee in your bed while you’re sleeping.

p.p.s. I’m looking for work to sustain me until all of my acting dreams come true! Something that requires only 30ish flexible hours a week and that covers NYC rent and NYU student loan payments. Open to all ideas and input.

This woman has her head screwed on straight.

[Ilsa]

3. No, I thought the entire letter was posted and it appeared

To conclude so I did not go to the link.

I wish her well. Yes, she has her head on straight. I just don't get using "Love" except in of the most mutually intimate relationships.

[BlueJazz]

5. I understand her using love. That's something I would do as extreme satire.

[Android3.14]

4. Brian is sitting in his bathrobe

Reading his Facebook feed and noticing the jammed message folder and thinking, "Did I err?"

Yes, Brian. You erred.

[lovemydog]

6. Brian gave an outrageously obnoxious response to the New York Post.

It's mentioned in the link in the original post. I don't want to quote it here.

[Ilsa]

9. The sociopath denied it, called her

a vulgar name, then threatened her. Typical sociopathic behavior. I wish his superiors would call him on it, but they are probably sociopaths also.

[Stargazer09]

10. I read it

What an asshole.

[Android3.14]

11. Just read it

Deplorable and tacit evidence that he did in fact do what she said. That guy needs to face a consequence or three.

[Hoppy]

7. No, he's not. Don't you see? Brian is entitled.

He's a Master of the Universe.

Everyone else is beneath him.

[Orrex]

8. Has she been fired yet?

That's often how these things work out.

Excellent letter though!

[Skittles]

12. she quit so she could freely write the letter

[Orrex]

13. Ah--missed that.

Thanks!