Women's Rights & Issues
Related: About this forumRead NYC bartender’s awesome letter calling out hedge funder who groped her
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/09/read-nyc-bartenders-awesome-letter-calling-out-hedge-funder-who-groped-her/Read NYC bartenders awesome letter calling out hedge funder who groped her
Arturo Garcia
18 Sep 2014
~snip~
Dear Brian,
You came into the restaurant where I work and ordered a Stoli on the rocks. When I asked you and your companion if youd be eating, or needing anything else from me, you put your hand ever so gently ON MY ASS and asked if you could take me to go. When I immediately stepped away and said Sorry, what? you probably gathered that I was and am not receptive of such advances from customers. We were in a family-friendly restaurant, around 6:30pm, and I was wearing a loose-fitting, long sleeve shirt, jeans, and no makeup so Im not sure where the confusion arose as to what kind of service you were being provided. You left soon after, leaving a signed credit card slip and a two dollar tip (see picture included!). Your name is Brian Lederman. I found you, instantly, via a quick Google search online. I looked at your face on Linked In, the Worlds Largest Professional Network. You work at Swiss Performance Management and Truehand AG, in Investment Management. Of course you do.
I work as a bartender, and have for more than five years now. I graduated NYU with honors, and have at some point held down every conceivable part time type job including but not limited to food service, administration, and even temp work at firms such as yours. So far, bartending allows me the most flexibility to pursue my artistic career, while comfortably covering my basic living expenses, including my outrageously high student loan payments. I have a good job that Im grateful for. The environment is low key, I have incredibly supportive coworkers and managers, and in general the clientele is nice.
But I still hate being a bartender. Over the years my knowledge and skill set have expanded, but I seem to be getting worse at tolerating the service part. I deal with incredible amounts of entitlement, condescension, and drunk nonsense. And at a bar, it is impossible to ignore the fact that misogyny is alive and well. I cant tell you how many times people have treated me horribly and Ive memorized or photographed the names from their credit cards, fantasizing about internet revenge. But every time Ive been tempted in the past (even after verbal attacks, physical affronts, or sexual harassment) Ive stopped myself and let it go.
So congratulations, Brian! Youve done it! You broke this tired ass camels back. And though this is obviously a public shaming, I truly dont mean this as an attack. Maybe just maybe via the intimately connected internet world, my post will reach you, and youll learn something about how hurtful and upsetting a small comment or gesture might be. Or at the very least, maybe a Facebook passerby will read this and more deeply consider how they treat women, how they treat servers, and/or how they treat other people in general. And thank you. Without your inspiration I wouldnt be quitting my job today, and endeavoring a better chapter of my life.
Love,
Laura
Ilsa
(61,690 posts)Why the hell sign it "Love, Laura"?
unhappycamper
(60,364 posts)p.s. Everyone else please be kind to your server. If your drink took a while, it might just be because your bartender was rage crying about misogyny in the bathroom. Also because if youre not nice to her, she just might memorize the name from your credit card, find you online, hunt you down, and pee in your bed while youre sleeping.
p.p.s. Im looking for work to sustain me until all of my acting dreams come true! Something that requires only 30ish flexible hours a week and that covers NYC rent and NYU student loan payments. Open to all ideas and input.
This woman has her head screwed on straight.
Ilsa
(61,690 posts)To conclude so I did not go to the link.
I wish her well. Yes, she has her head on straight. I just don't get using "Love" except in of the most mutually intimate relationships.
BlueJazz
(25,348 posts)Android3.14
(5,402 posts)Reading his Facebook feed and noticing the jammed message folder and thinking, "Did I err?"
Yes, Brian. You erred.
lovemydog
(11,833 posts)It's mentioned in the link in the original post. I don't want to quote it here.
Ilsa
(61,690 posts)a vulgar name, then threatened her. Typical sociopathic behavior. I wish his superiors would call him on it, but they are probably sociopaths also.
Stargazer09
(2,131 posts)What an asshole.
Android3.14
(5,402 posts)Deplorable and tacit evidence that he did in fact do what she said. That guy needs to face a consequence or three.
Hoppy
(3,595 posts)He's a Master of the Universe.
Everyone else is beneath him.
Orrex
(63,169 posts)That's often how these things work out.
Excellent letter though!
Skittles
(153,104 posts)Orrex
(63,169 posts)Thanks!