Clinic Escort Stories: “I Help Men as a Clinic Escort, Too.”

[Novara]

Clinic Escort Stories: “I Help Men as a Clinic Escort, Too.”

This post is part of A is For’s new Clinic Escort Story Series, in which real volunteer clinic escorts share their experiences and insights from the frontlines of abortion access. This series is dedicated to capturing the reality of what patients go through to access safe abortion care all across the United States.

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Men do not often figure in the stories we tell about abortion, except as that jerk who knocked you up and then took off as soon as you told him you were late. So many people, myself included, have weighed the pros and cons of an abortion and then gone through with the procedure without the assistance or consent of the man who got them pregnant. From the stories feminists tell about abortion, one could be forgiven for thinking that abortion, like birth, often operates within a “woman’s sacred space.” But more often than our narratives around abortion would suggest, a person seeking an abortion asks a man to come with them, and invites him to share in the space of vulnerability and strength that abortion engenders.

Despite the dearth of men in our narratives about abortion, from where I stand on the sidewalk, it seems that there are a lot of men involved in abortion. Some are clearly involved because that morning, their partner woke them up with, “You got me into this mess; you sure as hell are getting me out of it.” But many men are involved because they care about their partner, spouse, or child and are trying to be supportive as best they can, whether or not they agree with the choice to have an abortion.

So much of my work on the sidewalk is helping these men hold it together so they can be strong for the person having the abortion. Sometimes a “You doing ok?” is enough to shake a man out of listening to the hate the protestors spew at him. Other times, he is clearly rattled when he gets back inside, so I make a mental note of when his meter will next expire and position myself by the clinic door when he is due out so that I can be a physical and emotional barrier between him and the protestors.

When I escort men to feed the meter outside the clinic, I am always struck by how vulnerable abortion renders them. But when I watch them escort their children, spouses, or partners back to the car after the abortion is done, I am always struck by how strong they become when caring for their loved ones. More than anything, I want them to know that the true measure of their manhood is their decision to stand with this person in their time of need, not whatever nonsense the protesters might tell them.

Read more: http://www.aisfor.org/clinic-escort-stories-i-help-men-as-a-clinic-escort-too/#sthash.RqZid6R0.dpbs