Disney Princesses and the Battle for Your Daughter’s Soul

[seabeyond]

Last edited Fri Dec 16, 2011, 11:53 AM - Edit history (1)

This princess mania, many argue, leaves girls all mixed up: while they excel in school and outpace their male peers in science and math, they also obsess about Prince Charming and who has the prettiest dress, learning—from a mix of mass marketing and media—not that girls are strong, smart, or creative, but that each is a little princess of her own, judged by the beauty of her face (and gown). Just think about the fairy tales themselves: Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White—all pitted against evil, ugly old women (read: age = awfulness), waiting for the prince they’ve never met to fall for their beauty (not smarts) and rescue them from misery. In The Little Mermaid, Ariel literally trades in her voice for the chance a man she’s never met will love her in return.

Orenstein’s own daughter didn’t start out princess-obsessed. Daisy marched into her first day of preschool in Berkeley, Calif., in her favorite pinstriped overalls and carrying a Thomas the Tank Engine lunchbox. (Gender-neutrality success!) But it would be less than a month before the now-7-year-old would scream as her mother tried to wrestle her into pants, begging for a “real princess dress” with matching plastic high heels. Suddenly, as if on princess steroids, Orenstein began noticing princess mania at every turn: Daisy’s classmates—even one with two mothers—showed up to school in princess outfits. The supermarket checkout woman addressed her daughter with “Hi, Princess.” She found her daughter lying on the floor at a bat mitzvah, surrounded by a group of boys, waiting for her “prince” to come and wake her

Orenstein knew there was something about this she didn’t like. Frilly dresses? Waiting for Prince Charming? Isn’t that a retrograde role model? One would think—but as it turns out, it’s harder than it sounds to find the science to back up that notion. So instead, Orenstein decided to head to the front lines of this girl culture herself—observing the world of gyrating pretweens at a Miley Cyrus concert, the powdered pop tarts of the child-pageant circuit, an American Girl store, a toy fair, and, last, Disney, whose princess line of merchandise has become the largest franchise on the planet for girls ages 2 to 6. What she learned? “It’s not that princesses can’t expand girls’ imaginations,” Orenstein explains. “But in today’s culture, princess starts to turn into something else. It’s not just being the fairest of them all, it’s being the hottest of them all, the most Paris Hilton of them all, the most Kim Kardashian of them all.” Translation: shallow, narcissistic, slutty.

Much of Orenstein’s territory is well trod (there are only so many times you can hear about toddlers and beauty pageants, or the outrage over sexy Bratz dolls). But the way she sees it, there is one very big thing that separates Daisy’s generation from those who came before her—and it’s called mass marketing. Disney alone has 26,000 Disney princess items on the market today, part of a $4 billion-a-year franchise that is the fastest-growing brand the company has ever created. “What these companies will tell you is that girls want this, so they give it to them,” says Orenstein. But for girls who don’t want to play with pink princess toys, there’s virtually no other option.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2011/01/26/disney-princesses-and-the-battle-for-your-daughter-s-soul.html
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i had my 4 yr old niece'ish over at my house for 3 hours yesterday. this girl and i have battled over the princess stuff, generally in good humor. her father (not married to mom and living elsewhere) is continually pumping princess into her head and he is her prince(?). she doesnt have to clean her room because she is a princess. we went thru her purse and there was a little ariel. on 2nd, 3rd, 4th glance i noticed ariel had some boob job. wtf? i moved ariels hand, holding a mirror in front of her face, to see if i was seeing what i was seeing. huge ass tits with shells looking like pasties. when did disney change little small chested ariel? after conversation i found out was on her cake so probably a china made, not disney. this girl spent 3 hours always directing conversation to looks. a picture in her book had all the pictures of ariel and friends asking which was most like her. all she could do is tell me who she liked the looks of best. the only blonde and blue eyed out of 8. this little girl is half mexican and huge, beautiful brown eyes and br hair.

not one conversation that was not about girls roles in her looks. i was concerned. talked to hubby and boys last night. i have had four nieces around a lot and only one was like this. the mama of this girl. the other three did not behave like this. one was very girly girl and didn't behave like this. later in the night son brought it up again. talking to this little girl about this. how i always talked to boys like adults about all things. little girl may not be used to it. we realized i discussed johnny bravo and gi joes physique with boys when they were about that age. so not liek i didnt do the same with mine.

i have never raised girls. what is your experience in raising girls. i have heard of this with girls, but havent seen it.

[iris27]

1. My niece is a little too young to insist on any of this herself (16 mo), but I fear for her.

My brother and sis-in-law have always been the sort to change their behavior based on the child's gender from the second they get that boy-or-girl ultrasound. Much hoopla surrounded the outfit she would wear home from the hospital (but no such concern when her elder brother was a baby...I guess clothes are "a girl thing"?...for him it was all about getting his room painted blue and putting up model airplanes).

Anyway, everyone but me loves sports in my family, so when they first said they were getting her a Cardinals outfit to wear home, I smiled. But then they kept talking. They went out of their way to find a PINK Cardinals onesie, going all the way downtown to the store at Busch Stadium itself because they couldn't find such a thing anywhere else - not surprising considering pink is not one of the team's colors. Then that wasn't enough. My mother whipped out her sewing machine and sewed a little pink SKIRT to the bottom of the onesie. GAG.

And the calling her princess. Ugh. That started at as soon as they knew she'd be a girl...the rest of her time in utero, her name was Princess. Even after birth, when she got an actual name, she is still called this daily. (Her brother, in contrast, gets called "Champ" or "Bud".)

[seabeyond]

2. hm.... lol

wow.

see, with both boys and really all kids i dont play gender manipulation. i wasnt raised that way either. we were treated as people, not gender.

[redqueen]

3. I was like you with mine,

when they were that age. We watched Disney and enjoyed the movies together, but I also talked to them about the differences in the way the characters were portrayed. I made sure they didn't get the message that such things were fair or realistic. We enjoyed the movies, the music, the jokes, etc., but at least a mention of the issue was included the first time we saw it. IMO if we let them absorb these messages with no filter (let alone championing it and cheering it on), that's on us.

[libodem]

4. Good Article

People change the tone and words when speaking to a boy or girl baby. We do it unconsciously. It is important to be made aware of it. I dislike the marketing aspect. Targeting kids to sell merchandise to make bank is rotten. Polluting minds to believe a woman is nothing without a man is sick and wrong. OTOH I loved fairy tales. I liked Bible stories. I loved being read to.

I think having an on going discussion to manage attitudes about beauty, desirability, and not requiring a man to be happy or rescue you seems in order.

I raised boys. We played house and Barbies with the cousins. Kill me now.

[seabeyond]

5. lol. i bought my 3 yr old son the most life like baby doll i could when he kept insisting i

have another baby. it was a wonderfully soft cuddly chubby little thing.

my son would play gi joe with barbie with my niece. they are the same age. they loved it.

i hear ya. another poster talked about sittin watching these movies and conversation about it. i did the same.

[libodem]

6. Two of the boys

Have children of their own and are awesome dads.

[iris27]

7. GI Joe & Barbie

That's a great story. One of the happier memories of my time as a kid is building Lincoln Log houses with my brother and sister for Barbie and the Ninja Turtles to live in together.