Sexist language that I personally cannot stand

[La Lioness Priyanka]

1 Using male pronouns as though they are not gender specific. puhlease.

2. Using pussy to mean weak when a fucking baby can come out of it. Using balls to mean strong, when i hear there is nothing more painful than a kick to the balls. how something so fragile came to embody strength, yet something so strong came to embody weakness, I don't understand.


Feel free to add you own...

[Neoma]

1. The question of whether or not I'll have kids.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

2. that's not sexist language as much as sexist attitude though. nt

[Neoma]

4. I'm more or less sterile. It annoys me.

But, hypothetically, if it's asked by your boss, wouldn't it be? Assuming it's a man, he could be trying to figure out how long you'll stay as an employee. Trying to find out when the biological clock (that only women have) will blow up into babies.

Pregnant women are very much discriminated against in the workforce, and every female is a potential future pregnant woman. So yeah, maybe you're right. Attitudes...

Edit to add: There's some sarcasm in this post about the biological clock thing.

[Warren DeMontague]

41. If its asked by your boss, you may have an actionable legal complaint.

Not cool.

[Neoma]

42. That's good to know.

[Warren DeMontague]

43. Im not a lawyer, mind you.. But its worth checking out with one

Particularly if theres a pattern or a problem.

[LadyHawkAZ]

19. or worse...

The very definite STATEMENT that you WILL want/have kids, and how much you'll LOVE it when you do!

[kestrel91316]

53. I have had to deal with this one for decades. I am married to

my PRACTICE, and used to cringe at the thought of dealing with a screaming, pooping infant. And still people (especially clients) would say this - with straight faces.

Now that I am perimenopausal they have shut up about it.

[obamanut2012]

55. When younger, I had people tell me two things that used to piss me off

1. "You'll change your mind!" and

2. "Don;t you think that's selfish/why are you being selfish."

[La Lioness Priyanka]

3. using male analogies while teaching

like sport analogies. cannot stand it.

[OKNancy]

13. sports analogies?

I don't think that is sexist at all.
Women play sports. In fact my daughter is on a full tackle women's football team.
http://www.tulsathreat.com/

[La Lioness Priyanka]

16. most women don't though

yes, ofcourse some women do but not all. also have you ever heard people use female sportspeople analogies? nope. always male basket ball players or whatever player.

[OKNancy]

17. well, I just don't think it's sexist to use sports analogies

It's part of our popular culture.

[One_Life_To_Give]

36. Jen Rizzotti, Rebeca Lobo

and Danica Patrick.

Being originally from the Hartford area. It's tough to have basketball analogies and not mention some of the greats that Geno has coached. And I think we are starting to see reaction in the stands to Danica Patrick and Johanna Long.

[unblock]

5. i don't like that english doesn't have a third party singular alive-but-unspecified-gender pronoun.

it has "they", which is third person unspecified gender PLURAL, but for third person singular, i'm stuck with he, she, or it.

i guess the idea is that if their gender is unknown or unspecified, they might as well be dead?
why is identifying someone's gender SO important that you can't even use pronouns until you determine the gender?


as in: "see that person over there in the distance? they're wearing a hat!"

that's the "best" we can do, make an obvious singular/plural error.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

6. agreed. a lot of queer people have starting using ze

as a gender neutral pronoun

[Neoma]

7. I've never heard of ze.

[unblock]

8. i love it! i'm going to try that!

and google tells me "hir (pronounced 'here')" also works ("ze" for subject, "hir" for object).

thanks!

[La Lioness Priyanka]

9. ..

[hifiguy]

38. I was once on a board where "em" was used

as a gender neutral pronoun instead of "him" or "her." I thought it was pretty cool and caught myself using it IRL a couple of times.

[Whisp]

47. I sometimes use herm for her/him. nt

[obamanut2012]

44. I use "they," too

I recently read that's becoming an accepted use.

I also generally use "y'all" instead of guys/men or girls/women.

[Neoma]

45. I do because I'm originally southern...

I haven't adapted to, "Yous guys."

[obamanut2012]

46. The "gword" just cannot pass my lips

[Zorra]

10. I've been using female prominent language as the default since I was

a teenager.

Pronouns have been s/he, her/him, etc.

I always put the female first, ie, women and men, hers and his, LGBT instead of GLBT, etc.

The idea of gender non-specific language, like the pronoun ze, is fine with me, but it's not common enough for most people to recognize yet.

[kiva]

18. I like to do this also,

and I use it when I'm discussing (historically) traditional roles, like 'gatherers and hunters'.

[longship]

11. Unfortunately English is not the best language for #1

I will often use they as a gender neutral term even when the implied plurality is incorrect.

But there is no easy substitute for man in the sense of meaning human. E.G., manned spacecraft. What would suffice to rip the gender specific term? Human occupied spacecraft? Or the horrible humaned spacecraft?

I think that our language has to evolve to accommodate these social changes. I would be an early adopter.

On the other hand, some people take it to utterly silly extent. The word, history has nothing gender specific in its etymology. It's ignorant to coin a word herstory which clearly does have a gender specific origin. That's just stupidity.

So where does one start? As one who sees this as a bias, I do my best. But sometimes the language fails me and I fall into common vernacular. What are we to do?

[Neoma]

12. This is what I do.

I now try to read more books specifically about women. The more I read about women, I'm hoping that strong women historical figures will help me get off the chain of men we should all know about. Capone, Napoleon, Lawrence of Arabia, Edgar Allan Poe, Etc. It's getting rather dull. Especially Lawrence of Arabia, 945 goddamn pages of wasted time. (It was a very dry read.)

Sure, Genghis Khan might be important to learn about, but is anyone going to talk about Mongol Queens?

Having women dominate your mind, just might help, who knows?

[longship]

14. But history is full of women who made a difference

Hypatia! The last curator of what is known as the Library of Alexandria.

The early Christian church would not have survived without women, who carried the word forward.

Another of my favorites, Hildegard of Bingen. A physician, a musician, a mathematician, a composer of wonderful music.

History is full of these stories of women who stood up against male dominance.

Here are some you might want to look up:

Caroline Herschel -- discovered multiple comets and was one of the most important astronomers of her day.

Henrietta Leavitt -- did the original research that gave rise to the expanding universe. Another astronomer who, because of her gender, received no note.

Marie Curie -- the first scientist to win two Nobel Prizes in science. I don't think this has been repeated since.

There are many other women in science, which is my focus. But literature has their heroines. Maybe George Elliot?

Celebrate women of note. They did all these things in an environment of gender bias. And they continue to do so today. It is both a shame and a hopeful wish.

Thanks for your post.

[Neoma]

15. I wasn't disagreeing... I was pointing out the same thing...

[azurnoir]

39. ever read Lady Chatterly's Lover?

a book filled with one ,man's lack of knowledge about female sexuality

eta not to mention some racism too

[Neoma]

40. Uhm, no...

[planetc]

20. But "history" has often been precisely "*his* story"

The main themes of historical texts have often been drawn from the records of the deeds and accomplishments of men--generals, kings, presidents, captains of industry. ("What was Napoleon up to? Lots, until the Duke of Wellington stopped him at Waterloo.&quot The implied lesson is that the only significant deeds are done by men, the only significant thoughts are thought by men. Only in the last forty or fifty years, I think, have progressive historians been writing texts that report on groups of people like farmers, trade unionists, laborers, small businesspeople. This trend in historical thinking is a step in the right direction, but still leaves half of humanity out of its focus.

Thus, "her story" is a neat coinage that suggests that, a) since we have heard lots of *his*tory, b) it's time to consider some herstory. And every time we point to the accomplishments of Hillary Clinton and Elizabeth Warren, et al., we tweak the contemporary record in the direction we want it to go--a recognition that women can and do achieve great things.

[longship]

21. History is what it is

Herstory is a stupid coinage. It basically claims that history is deliberately skewed to report only about males. Either that, or that women are so unimportant in history there needs to be a special herstory.

The first is clearly not true. And I don't think anybody would claim the second.

If women are misrepresented in history, the solution is to fix it, not making a special herstory, forever separate.

[laconicsax]

22. Umm...

The idea of "herstory" is to highlight and bring awareness to the significant achievements of women that have been left out when their era or area are discussed, not to present a special history that's forever separate.

The problem can't be fixed if the omitted women's stories aren't highlighted in some way.

[longship]

23. I understand your point, and it's really correct

But using the word herstory also allows people who would be against your goals criticize the word, totally missing the point.

Call it what it is. Women's history. Yes, it will still be criticized, but at least not on the basis of etymology.

Maybe we'll just have to disagree about this. I am okay with that. I am with you on all these issues. My only quibble is the branding which I think will inevitably work out as counter to women's goals.

Why use branding that invites this very discussion?

[laconicsax]

24. The discussion takes place no matter how it's branded.

A symptom of institutionalized bigotry is opposition to any attempts to bring awareness to the effects of that bigotry.

Every February, more than one racist asshole mockingly asks "why don't we have a WHITE history month?" argues that African Americans haven't done anything worth putting in a history book, etc.

Every March, more than one sexist asshole mockingly asks "why don't we have a MEN'S history month?" argues that women haven't done anything worth putting in a history book, etc.

[longship]

25. I agree 100% with you

It is a very important issue as well. As an amateur history buff, I am in awe of women's part. History is full of women who rose above what can only be termed organized bigotry. I can't get enough of this part of history because it is so under-reported.

We all have to fight the good fight. But, please forgive me if I call it women's history or even just history.

Thanks for your thoughtful responses.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

26. herstory isnt intended to replace history

i think its just a feminist analysis of history.

sometimes phrases are sexist but one uses them anyway because of the limitations of language and so i sympathize with you. Man up, is something i thinks is sexist but occasionally i really want to use it

[JoeyT]

27. Using "Female" when you mean "Woman/Women".

I'm not talking about the way female is being used in this thread, I'm talking about the dudebros that use female as in "Well, females are always <insert idiotic statement here>"

You know, like they're an effing biologist talking about the habits of an animal none of us have ever seen before.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

28. lol

that was super funny. thanks

[LiberalLoner]

29. I use the term female because

That is what i was taught to use in the Army. Male and Female were considered the most pc designations. I still consider female to be a word that has fewer negative connotations than woman or girl or broad or whatever.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

32. i think the poster meant it in a specific context

not generally..

[laconicsax]

30. I tend to use male/female because not all males are men and not all females are women.

Gender, being a social construct, doesn't always match sex.

Even when it does, age plays a factor. I don't call 12-year-olds men or women and I don't call 36-year-olds boys or girls.

[Neoma]

31. I dunno...

"Baby Woman," or "Baby Man," is kind of catchy.

[JoeyT]

33. Ooh, good point.

I meant more along the lines of the guys that the second they use the word "female" you just know it's time to break out your EvoPsych bingo card, because you're about to fill it up.

[laconicsax]

34. I didn't have one until now.

[Whisp]

35. referring to women as 'the female species'

It's the older generation that uses this mostly, and it's always said with a smirk like we are aliens or something. Gawd that bugs my arse.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

37. referring to any gender as species in troublesome

it fosters the idea that we are SO different. like cats and dogs.

[Gormy Cuss]

48. "Girly girl" used to describe adult women

because the equivalent for men is "Manly man."
The juvenile vs. mature term thing rubs me the wrong way.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

50. good point

[Rowdyboy]

49. In 1974 a close friend was a strong feminist. She and I agreed that the term "balls" was stupid

since 51% of the population didn't have them. Saying that someone like Barbara Jordan or Elizabeth Holtzman (Watergate Impeachment Judiciary members) had "balls" was ridiculous. We settled instead on "tits" since everyone has them and it made perfect sense to me at the time (we were doing lots of pot and LSD back in the day-what can I say). Testicles are VERY fragile, mammary glands not so much.

[teach1st]

51. Man up!

The phrase "man up" bugs the hell out of me, but I don't have the balls, uh, I mean tits, to tell people when they use it.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

52. i HATE it too. nt

[obamanut2012]

56. +1

[tridim]

54. Straight men don't crochet.

Straight men don't cook well.

[One_Life_To_Give]

57. But needlepoint is OK

I always think of Grier when somebody mentions, Men don't (insert supposedly feminine craft here)

[Rowdyboy]

58. Back in 1982 there was a book-"Real Men Don't Eat Quiche"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Real_Men_Don't_Eat_Quiche

Real Men Don't Eat Quiche, by American Bruce Feirstein, is a bestselling tongue-in-cheek book satirizing stereotypes of masculinity, published in 1982 (ISBN 0-671-44831-5). It popularized the term quiche-eater, meaning a man who is a dilettante, a trend-chaser, an over-anxious conformist to fashionable forms of 'lifestyle', and socially correct behaviors and opinions, one who eschews (or merely lacks) the traditional masculine virtue of tough self-assurance. A 'traditional' male might enjoy egg-and-bacon pie if his wife served it to him; a quiche-eater, or Sensitive New Age Guy would make the dish himself, call it by its French name quiche, and serve it to his female life partner to demonstrate his empathy with the Women's Movement. He would also wash up afterwards.

The book's humor derives from the fears and confusion of contemporary middle-class men about how they ought to behave, after a decade of feminist critique on traditional male roles and beliefs.

The book was on the New York Times Best Seller list for 55 weeks, and sold over 1.6 million copies. An Australian adaptation by Alex Buzo was published in 1982.