Well, that was bad news.

[MedicalAdmin]

I'm not sure where to post this. Do you think I should move it?

My boss very nicely offered to help me pay for an MRI (basically she is paying for it) in order to screen out the reason why I have been experiencing bad migraines and bleeding.... in addition to my spinal injury issues (which also are not being seen to due to finances).

Now I wish I didn't know.




I am stuck on the horns of the dilemma that all too many American's face. I don't make enough to afford care, but I make too much to get any kind of assistance. So like many others I would rather die hard and swift by my own hand than cripple my family financially after I shrug off these mortal coils.

I guess on the whole it is good to know, but I can't afford the kind of aggressive therapy it would take to take this on. And now that there is an official diagnosis, I couldn't get insurance even if I could afford it.

I'm really not sure how to feel about this. I'm numb mostly.




Fuck. Now I get to go home and tell my family. That'll be fun.





Maybe while I'm still OK, it is time to put on a backpack and see what I haven't seen yet. ... I need a drink or 7.

[icymist]

1. I am so sorry that you have to go through this crap.

But, taking your life "hard and swift" as you say may cripple your family as well. Take some time off and think about this. From your above post I can't tell what the diagnosis is that you have recieved and from what I can tell, you don't have insurance?

Be aware that I'll pray for you and light candles for you.

[Chemisse]

2. I'm sorry to see things are not going well for you.

I think if I were facing death in the not-too-distant future, I would like to do some traveling also. Then return to be with family for the later days or months.

I don't know if there are other alternatives for you to get medical treatment; perhaps others do. If you make too much to get assistance, and if you are ill, maybe you should leave your job and put yourself in a different financial situation.

[kdmorris]

3. You don't say what your diagnosis is

But if it's something that is long term and you are looking for support, it might be more appropriate in the Chronic Health Conditions Discussion and Support.

[Newest Reality]

4. Suggesting that

you take some time to process what's now on your plate, emotionally. Thoughts are most likely stirred-up and multifaceted, going here and there.

Like you have done here, reach out and relate to others about it. This is a good time to be with what's going on and for others to be with you. Letting go enough to really express your state and reactions can be most valuable and wise. Someone calm and wise might be there to listen and respond.

Decisions are made best when you can find some refuge in a space you feel the most comfortable in.

May you find comfort and equanimity in this turmoil, like the eye at the center of a hurricane.

My heartfelt concern.