Once again, I am terrified.

The thoracic surgery people have been doing nothing but testing and re-testing for three months. I have received no treatment. I saw radiation oncology, at long last on Nov. 1st. I decided to go with this treatment rather than surgery. These are the reasons:

I have atrial fibrillation. I will have to go off my blood thinner. I could develop a clot that would be dangerous.

There is danger of infection.

I am 74 and not as strong as a younger person having surgery.

I could end up on oxygen for the rest of my life.

The radiation oncology people are meeting with me next week and getting things going. They may also put me on keytruda, which kind of scares me because of the side effects. Radiation will come first. These docs, and my primary are still speaking in terms of a cure, since my lung cancer is only at stage 1B. I hope they are right.

I am having an MRI - brain scan - on Monday. It will determine whether or not this has gone to my brain. That is unlikely. It usually does not go to the brain until stage 4. The broncoscopy doc said he could find no indication that this has spread outside my lung to any other part of my body. I'm worried about this too, of course.

I am not ready to die. I still have many things left to do, especially when it come to my part in saving our democracy.

There are some people here, and IRL for me, who have a good feeling about my prognosis. I hope they are right. I could use your prayers, good thoughts, and whatever else you care to share that might prop me up. Thanks in advance.