Serious anxiety this morning.

[hamsterjill]

I’ve dealt with anxiety my whole life, but until the pandemic, I was able to deal with it.

With all that’s happened over the last year, there are days I can barely force myself to get out of bed. The fear, the dread, the tension.

I hear consistently how a record number of people are experiencing this due to the pandemic, but I really haven’t seen much of an increase in either resources available and/or real discussion of this.

It typically helps to talk about things that promote anxiety. So, can we talk? What are some things you are dealing with, and how are you coping?

I’m trying to be realistic. I’m trying to be gentle with myself and lower expectations. But there are real, concrete issues that I have to confront (job loss, impending loss of health coverage and what to do about that, etc.). I try to set one goal every day. I seem to only be able to deal with a little at a time.

I take a walk every day and try to breathe and smell the air and let go. But the tension is always there.

DU’ers, can we just talk????

[piddyprints]

1. Sorry you're going through this.

I just got my first dose of Pfizer vaccine and am sitting in the parking lot for 30 minutes so they can be sure I’m ok. I’m having a lot of anxiety over possibly having a reaction to it. So I opened the car window and am talking to you.

[hamsterjill]

4. How's it going so far?

You are a brave soul!

[piddyprints]

8. Almost time to leave!

I got a little dizzy at first, but the guy who asked me questions had taken a bath in cologne, which also makes me dizzy. Now I’m a little calmer and don’t feel anything unusual. How are you doing?

[hamsterjill]

14. Glad you are doing better.

I’m calmer than I was.

I think a lot of my anxiety stems from the cloud hanging over my head about getting the vaccine. I have a serious needle phobia, have fainted before, and find that people don’t take the fear seriously. Even DU’ers have remarked “suck it up, it’s just a shot”...which is not helpful of course.

I understand that I need to get it, but the thought is paralyzing. So I really am proud of you for doing it and managing as well as you have. You’re doing great.

[WhiteTara]

15. I get my second shot on April 3

I was nervous but when we got to the clinic for the drive-through vaccine line, the people working were so cheerful and upbeat and efficient and you get asked questions and by the time I got to the place where the shot givers were, I had spoken to so many cheerful people that I was less nervous. I felt a bit nauseous but I was really hungry and after I ate, I felt fine. Sore arm for the afternoon, slept a lot for a few more days and now I feel different. I feel protected. Of course, I have another shot and another 2 weeks to reach full effectiveness of the vaccine and a lifetime of masks, but I'm more hopeful that way. I just wish I weren't soooo anxious about money.

[piddyprints]

18. Yay you!

I really liked the drive-through part of it. I did have to take off my mask while I waited because I just found it really hard to breathe, probably from the anxiety. Being alone in my car made that possible. The wait was a bit longer than I expected.

It almost sounds like the same people are doing it. Our people were very nice as well. The guy in the emergency vehicle even offered me crackers and a juice box. But I told him I'd be fine once I got home.

We are one week apart for the second shot. My husband got Moderna a few weeks ago and is scheduled for his 2nd five days before my second. Moderna has a longer wait period between shots.

I feel protected too. Maybe a little tired, but I live in the twilight zone of constant fatigue on normal days, so I can't say it's much different.

Wish I could ease your anxiety about money. There's a lot of that going around, unfortunately.

[WhiteTara]

23. They updated the computer tonight and

they are mailing us checks on the 26th! Yea! I sure hope we don't get deJoyed!

And today! I got about $1000 worth of garden pots for $15!!!!!!! OMG. I did have to get a van to pick them up but my grant even pays for that so, I'm very jazzed.

[piddyprints]

17. Thank you!

I decided to stop by the emergency vehicle on my way out. The guy came out and looked at my arm, said it looked fine, my color was good, and I should just keep an eye out until about 3:30. He was very comforting.

After I got home, I got an email with a link to schedule the 2nd shot. I'm scheduled for April 10 already at the same place. So the anxiety of having to travel and/or find a place I'm not familiar with won't be there. And since I've been through it all once, I guess I'll be fine the second time around.

The thought of doing it is worse than actually doing it. Keep that in mind. I barely felt the jab and everything else was about my anxiety. If I'd have been braver, I would have honked my horn and let the emergency guy come over and check me sooner. He was very nice and understanding and I now know that he wouldn't have minded coming over to check on me.

Also, I just found out this morning that I could schedule my first shot. I was going to wait until this afternoon, but decided to just make the first appointment available so I wouldn't have to worry about it all morning long. The less time you have to think about it, the better.

[Ilsa]

2. Resources for the stress, from what I've heard,

are taken on individually by institutions. Colleges and universities, for example, are offering mental health services, but I believe it is required either by their state or federal government if they are receiving public funds. I imagine companies are doing the same, just to keep productivity up.

[hamsterjill]

10. There are no real resources available, at least not in my area.

Someone suggested a Jewish Community Center. So I called and called and called some more. It took them six weeks to return my call.

I tried a couple of churches that offer counseling. The cheapest rate I found was $80/hour and being unemployed, I can’t afford that.

I’ve seen my PA and she offered medication. I’ve considered it but I’d simply rather not get that started if I don’t have to. Since I dealt with this successfully BEFORE the pandemic, I’d prefer to learn how to deal with it now rather than resort to meds.

[KarenS]

3. Is it in the air this morning??

Seriously, I am 'checking out' today,,,, I plan on crocheting some and playing Candy Crush,,, something easy for dinner,,,,, then we shall see how I feel tomorrow. Haven't had a totally non-productive day in a long time,,,,, sooooooooooooooo today is that day!

[hamsterjill]

6. Good for you.

Enjoy your non productivity!

[CrispyQ]

5. I am one of the most fortunate people on the planet.

I'm retired, but I still have income. I know how fortunate that makes me. I've been in financial straights before in my life, & the worry of how you're going to pay your rent or how your going to buy a few groceries, even, it never leaves you. It's always there, even just a tiny bit, like you said, when you go out for a walk, the worry never completely turns off. It drains you. When I was a young girl, an older woman in our community accidently left her car door open in her garage. She didn't drive very often & the next time she went to start the car, the battery was dead. I remember the men in my family laughing as they speculated how long it must have taken for a little dome light to drain a car battery. That's kind of how this is. Even on days when you have it under control, it's still there, just like that dome light.

My nagging worry is a different health issue that I've done nothing about for a year due to the virus. There are going to be a ton of folks who, when this is under control, are going to find out how much worse of condition they are in because of delayed medical care because of Covid. The impact of this pandemic is going to last for decades.

I wish I had some comforting words for you, other than "this too shall pass." Positive vibes & a virtual hug.

[hamsterjill]

11. Thank you for such honesty!!!

That was a refreshing perspective.

Do you have a plan in place to confront your medical issue? Anyway we could help?

[Turbineguy]

7. I used to be a ship's engineer.

When something went wrong with the machinery (usually at 2 am) the phone would ring (or I would be woken up by an eerie silence). I would make my way to the engineroom and start up the standby generator.

One day one of the assistant engineers asked me, "Chief, why do you always do that no matter what the problem is?" I told him I was a very nervous person and this gave me a chance to calm down in addition to making the situation more secure.

I find doing something mundane and yet at the same time providing more certainty is helpful. That could be making sure you never have less than a half tank of gas in the car, or keep a running shopping list, or call someone you like to talk with.

You don't have to do everything you can think of, just enough to keep you instead of the anxiety in control.

[jmbar2]

9. I remember so well that feeling, and it's awful

I went through severe anxiety during the great recession. Got laid off, knew that I would either have to sell my house, or it would go into foreclosure. My house was my "retirement" plan, and I was in my 50s. I ended up selling it at the bottom of the market.

Some days, I didn't think my body would make it through the physical pain of the anxiety. Eventually, things all worked out. I was living in Texas at the time, and recognized that the lack of a safety net would be a problem for me as I got older. So I made a move to Oregon, which is kinder to low income folks. Not perfect, but better than Texas. That was five years ago.

Things that helped me get through the anxiety.
- Surprisingly, lightening my load. When I sold the house, I got rid of most of my belongings so that I could be more mobile. Knowing that in a pinch, I could more easily move someplace with much cheaper rents helped. (Oregon was NOT that place, but it had other advantages).

- Making a serious plan. I turned my anxiety into an exercise in planning for retirement as a poor person. Decided to get as creative and resourceful as possible. If you have your health, everything else is negotiable. I knew that I could turn any place I lived into something beautiful and peaceful. And I have.

- I learned how to daytrade to supplement my low income. It took a long time to learn, and I made a lot of mistakes. But it has been a godsend. Now, it is working for me.

- I learned to meditate, and watched a lot of videos by Pema Chodron, a woman Buddhist monk, on how to deal with life's difficulties. I highly recommend any and all of her works. On the worst days, I would just alternate meditating, exercise, and watching her videos over and over. She has so many helpful insights. On bad days, it seems like she is nailing exactly what you are going through with great insight and helpful ways to reframe it.

It's good that you reached out. Keep doing so as you need to. At some point, this too shall pass. Just keep reminding yourself that it won't always be this way. Namaste.

[hamsterjill]

12. Guess where I live!!! LOL

Sixth generation Texan. I’d love to get out of this area, but family issues prevent that at this time. I do think that (the redness of the area) is definitely a factor. Although I’m in a blue city, we’ve still got Republican state leadership. I’ll check out the videos. Thanks!

[cynical_idealist]

16. I like meditation

Also qigong and tai chi are very helpful.

This morning I was listening to this

Peace

[Maraya1969]

13. I used to have such anxiety I would be frozen in fear. Panic attacks and

terrifying fears, obsessions, the whole nine yards.

Besides medication what helped me most was this program called Recovery International. I started going to a meeting near me in the 80's and it was a lifesaver. Here is a link to their site; it's free. I hope this helps.

https://recoveryinternational.org/meeting-materials/

[hamsterjill]

19. Thanks. There's a local chapter.

I’ll do some research on this. Appreciate it.

[d_r]

20. This is going to sound so shallow

And I am sorry for that, I honestly am, but do you have an interest or a hobby you can lose yourself in to a little and let some of that energy focus? Something that you truly enjoy and that you can get lost in and focus on.

[hamsterjill]

21. Yes and I do.

I have a cat rescue where we spay and neuter stray and feral cats and it has been a lifesaver during all of this. It’s my passion.

But it is an expense, not income producing. I wish I could do something meaningful to earn a living, but stray cats cost money rather than make money unfortunately.

[d_r]

22. You are a good person

Maybe a new challenge to get behind could be a fundraiser. It's perfect. People who like cats would want to help and people that don't like cats will be happy they are spayed and neutered!

[MFM008]

24. I am similar

I have terrible anxiety and panic attacks also a number of medical conditions like anemia. All of which contributed to the other failure of a medication that was working fairly successfully for 21 years since then I have been put on so many different medications and all of them have failed leaving me with almost nothing.
I have now become almost non-functional I rarely leave the house except for doctor's appointments counselling seems to be ineffective things like meditation and breathing don't work during panic attacks for me.
All this began starting in January of 2019 with the death of my mother to last year's covid crap.
Life has been one long nervous breakdown since at least June of last year when one of my friends at 40 years died triggered this whole thing. I seem to be unable to take any medications without side effects that are horrible they even tried to put me on my old medication and it didn't
Work.
I've been in the hospital at least five times since last June when before I'd stayed out of the hospital since the year 2003.
Often times I wish I just wouldn't wake up
I'm 62 and I really feel I've reached the end of the line.
I honestly believe I've run out of options.

[hamsterjill]

25. Hey, I'm the same age.

I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I just wanted to reach out quickly and send a hug. I’m actually at an appointment at the moment. Can we connect a little later this evening? I think (for me at least) a lot is age related and I would love to have someone the same age to talk with about some of it.

[XanaDUer2]

26. I'm so sorry, and I empathize

you've got a lot you're dealing with. Anxiety is the worst feeling; I envy those who don't have it on a regular basis. My doctor tells me to try not to worry about future events. It's hard being in the moment.

I'm dealing with strong work- related anxiety. Plus worrying about how to live on ssdi if I get it. Like you, I'm easily overwhelmed. PM me if you need to talk.

[hamsterjill]

27. The "don't worry about it" comments never help.

How do you NOT worry about having a livelihood? I mean, good grief, we all need to eat, want to have a few things, some security, a hope, a future.

Work anxiety is hard because you can’t control what is happening. I read one of your posts about being bullied at work. Some people just suck and deserve to get back what they give by a bigger bully.

The world had gone nuts. There is no common sense any more.

[XanaDUer2]

28. Hugs

[Stuart G]

29. About ."..anxiety.." I have had it on and off for over 55 years.. Somehow I've lived with it.

...First got treated by the high school psychologist in 62 or 3. What do you do?...Anything to keep going...
(except booze or over-dosing medication...over-dosing kills) Went to Emotions Anonymous meetings,
AA meetings. Overeaters Anonymous meetings, read books, exercised, took all kinds of medication, got
addicted to a couple meds, got off successfully, try to keep busy, go for walks, go to exercise groups............... from time to time, call people & talk about it, pray, feel bad, feel good, go on the computer, clean the house,
try to not give up. grow houseplants, call other people just to talk, try not to give up if I feel particularly
bad, have had 2 heart surgeries, 3 cancer surgeries...etc.etc.etc. and ETC..

....How do I keep going?...It is a one day at a time thing. "This too shall pass" as they say.....Sometimes one half day at a time, or one hourat a time...or less. I have good friends, was active in volunteering till this pandemic hit, and am now trying to clear a lifetime of clutter out. When people say,,Don't worry about it...I laugh inside, these people haven't got a clue.
.... I have managed the anxiety...but it is not easy. Not far away, there is a forest I can walk in when the weather get warmer...I spend a whole lot of time on the computer..I clean up the house, walk the stairs, watch TV, and do other types of activities. I was into a jig-saw puzzle phase, and had a friend helping me put them together. I could go on and on...How does one survive? 41 years ago I started gong to Overeaters Anonymous and met some fine people, that had similar problems. Then other 12 step programs..I accept some of it and leave the rest. Yesterday, I went to the doctor, and he says that I am ok. I guess I just don't give up, but I learned that at the meetings and through good friends. I used to go to the library often, but that is hard to do now.

....So, it is hard some days. But yes, I call friends, visit people, try to not give up, pray, go out, go to
a botanical garden about half hour drive, take pictures, arrange pictures..and try not to give up.. Without the meetings and the people I met there, I would have given up. .So that is it.. Would you like some old magazines that I have saved...??? I would send them if I could...but who knows where or when?..
.
..........Sometimes it is just being grateful to be alive today and walk up and down the stairs where I live.. I don't know anything else..Does anybody have any other ideas? .............. I would like to hear them all..
Oh...I forgot one way to beat anxiety...deep breathing often works and works well...If I go for a long walk,
I have to breath more deeply and that helps a great deal..as said earlier...exercise also works..

[XanaDUer2]

30. Hugs