How do you support a depressed adult child?

[catrose]

My son is depressed. He lives about 20 miles away and has his own business--suffering since he was treated for cancer in 2019 and since the pandemic because he makes a large part of his sales at conventions...of which there are none. He's been on anxiety meds for more than 3 years. He has a contract job now, but the graveyard shift is hard. He doesn't want to me to give him money, so I asked him to work part-time for me, mostly things he knows how to do, others that would be useful skills for his business. But the website that was supposed to be done by March still isn't done, he hasn't been interested in any of the other aspects of the job, feels badly about it all but just can't get anything done. A lot of garbage has happened, as it has to everyone, and I thought I'd been supportive, certainly not critical: The world has gone to hell in a hand basket. All our lives would be better if only we'd known.

But I don't know what to do. I feel like he's sinking further, and I can't call him back; I have nothing more to offer that would help.

So I'm asking for help on the internet (yeah, that'll work). If you know how you'd like to be supported by your mother, please let me know.

I'm going to bed now, because I just can't take any more today--just had my Covid booster; he had his last week--and it's just possible he's not the only depressed person in this family.

[SheltieLover]

1. Yale is offering free "Science of Well Being" course

https://www.coursera.org/learn/the-science-of-well-being

Also making a gratitude journal can be helpful.

Get him to a therapist! Talk to the doctor who rxs his meds! Doc might not be authorized to speak to you, but can listen.

Healing vibes on the way to you both! 💗💗💗

On Edit: depending on your state laws, involuntary commitment might be possible.

[SheltieLover]

2. Neurotherapy can also be very helpful!

To the best of my knowledge, insurance does not cover this superb modality of treatment.

[Flash953]

3. Maybe this podcast will help.

He didn't make the world go to hell in a handbasket. It's not his fault. Wow I wish I had the balls to have my own business.

That takes a lot of balls for sure. For a long time I followed David Burns Professor Emeritus at Stanford . Ok so maybe something that

he could listen to quickly is one of the podcasts from the feeling good site. Perhaps it will help him a bit.


https://feelinggood.com/2016/12/05/podcast-13-ask-david-is-anxiety-inevitable/

The first podcasts begin to explain Cognitive behavior therapy. Hope this helps a bit.

[imaginary girl]

4. Can you invite him to go on a walk with you?

Preferably somewhere with trees. Exercise and being in nature (and sunlight) are all good ways to improve mood. Would also give you a chance to talk about things he cares about.

[Grasswire2]

5. I can offer this from my personal experience.

A 3,000 year old herbal supplement that helps a person adapt to stress has helped me in recent months and also two of my adult children. Ashwagandha. It's called an "adaptic" supplement as it helps to control the effects of cortisol (stress hormone) in the body.

It really made a difference in mood and energy level and health. I'm off my BP med, even. My doctor recommended it highly.

I also highly recommend music. And gardening. And a cat or dog.

[luckone]

9. ++ helped me recover from an accident concussion which resulted in fatigue . I didn't have any

side effects Not speedy or anything druggie
but def worked well and classified as an adaptogen so has many benefits
*
I will add I have no underlying health problems so some may need to check out if it’s ok

[Grasswire2]

10. that was the plus for me, too

When an alternative is a pharmaceutical drug, or a previously illegal substance, this time-proven adaptogen seems like a miracle.

My doctor suggested it. And I do have underlying conditions. Doctor, a medical university professor, is very careful.

[intrepidity]

11. Can you get it on Amazon?

What brand/dosage?

[Grasswire2]

12. sure

I've had two different experiences with buying it.

1. Life Extension brand, from amazon. Nice capsules, very reputable company rooted in science, not woo.

2. Kroger Simple Truth from the natural foods section. Tablets, HORRIBLE salty taste. Ugh! I only took one of those, and spit it out.

Price was comparable. Under $10 for a month's supply.

[FreepFryer]

6. He is lucky to have you and you to have him. A walk sounds like a good start...

...one which will cultivate gratitude and hope. Uncomplicated, nice way to practice simple forgiveness and to just be there for each other.

[Tomconroy]

7. Encourage him to get exercise, every day if possible

Keep expressing your care and concern. It might not seem like the words get through, but they do.
Is there something he really enjoys doing? Going to a sports event, a show, travel? See if you can get him to do that.
Hope that helps.

[Irish_Dem]

8. His anxiety meds won't help with depression.

And in fact may make his depression worse. He should see a psychiatrist or psychiatric nurse practitioner who can get him on the right meds. Depression is quite treatable today. There are many good anti-depressants available today.

The longer a depressive episode continues, the harder it is to treat and is apt to return more frequently.

[Flash953]

13. David Burns feeling good the new mood therapy .

[catrose]

14. Thank you all. I've been so down myself I couldn't post earlier, but I am passing on the suggestions

I did contact him to ask if the booster shot made him worse off emotionally and mentally, because it ran over me like an F-150. I wish I'd arranged for a week off of work, like I did with the 2nd shot. He was gobsmacked--he hadn't made the connection, but it was true for him too (but meanwhile he was blaming himself).

I'm feeling like I'm on an upward trajectory now, and I hope the same is true for him. Thanks much to you all!