I woke up today heartbroken
I mentioned to many that my girlfriend and I were gonna get our marriage on legal documentation on Friday. I was excited, so was she. Or so I thought she was. I got on Friday morning thinking I was about to marry someone I really loved. But last minute she bailed out because she felt it was silly to do this after all. She didn't think I was seriously wanting to do this and I was. I was 100% sure. But she wasn't. She felt in time we can when the circumstances were better.
I felt just like I had died inside. I just told her okay and hung up. My mind was just completely blank and I didn't know what to do at that point. All day I just sat in my room watching any show I've been meaning to watch and just binged. I shut my phone off, I locked my door. I didn't wanna see anyone. My momma kept asking if I was okay, so I broke down and told her the truth of what was gonna happen. Never seen her get so mad at me before saying how could I keep something like that from her and how dumb I was for jumping into such a commitment with that girl.
Needless to say my momma doesn't like her and I feel she never has. So that makes this much more worse. But now here I am after falling asleep at 8 last night trying to think how I'm gonna brave this day. But my mental health is now in a deep abyss somewhere and no idea how I'm pulling that back up now.
But just wanted everyone who was likely curious (probably not) but felt I should least express it somehow.
= new reply since forum marked as read
Yes, I was wondering when you would post about the event.
Often, those closest to us can see things that we can't about our choices in partners.
Maybe this girl did you a big favor.
Will you continue to date her?
Even so, I'm so saddened that your heart is heavy.
Healing vibes on the way, V! 💓💓💓
That does stink. I will second what was said above about losing what you thought was your future and allowing yourself to grieve.
Virtual hugs to you
I know you were excited for this. What she did is unnecessarily cruel. You are a privilege, not a convenience.
Be gentle with yourself. Your momma is likely feeling protective of you and probably saw things others didn't. Still, it's okay to set a boundary with her. Now's not the time to pile on the "I never liked her" stuff. You need time and space to feel all of your feelings and eventually begin healing. Until then, momma should take care too be more gentle. After all, you had a cruel thing done to you, but it's difficult to just turn on the hatred for someone you loved and thought you would marry.
I have always felt such a connection with you … I lived in Amarillo… graduated high school there … and left there in 1988 … living there was such a struggle… still have family there …
I know that doesn’t help your hurt heart today, sweet vercetti, just know that you have been such a sign of strength to people you don’t even know …
Today, all I can do is send you virtual hugs
i'm so sorry you are going through this.
And then tried to gaslight your feelings by saying YOU weren’t committed enough? You may not want to hear this, but please do not continue to date her. This is manipulative and emotional abuse. You want a lifetime of that? Run now and find someone who deserves you.
And - I’m so sorry this happened to you. Been there and sending virtual hugs of comfort and strength.
No guarantees for eternal happiness. 
