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OldBaldy1701E

(5,113 posts)
Fri Dec 2, 2022, 07:55 PM Dec 2022

So, tomorrow is the day I will put up the holiday stuff.

I will play some appropriate music and make the house look festive. And, then I will sit here in a daze and wonder why I bothered, since no one here will give a rats ass and although I love the trappings, the holiday itself has been a reminder of pain and misery for a long time now. I guess I do it for myself so that I can feel somewhat 'normal' for the month. One thing I will do, which I have always done, is leave it all up until after January 6th, not for recent events, but because that is 'Old Christmas' which is still celebrated around my home area. But again, this will be a typical 'holiday' season, because I have not had much of anything to celebrate for many years now. I wear the mask and say the lines, but it is little more than a performance. Just like the rest of the year.

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cachukis

(2,231 posts)
12. Think about it, writing a list of what you are not going to do
Fri Dec 2, 2022, 10:30 PM
Dec 2022

is doing something. Conversation with a piece of paper. Musings become poems.

TygrBright

(20,756 posts)
2. We all have to choose what works for us in holiday time.
Fri Dec 2, 2022, 08:03 PM
Dec 2022

Decorating isn't one of mine, I gave myself permission years ago to opt out on decorating. But I do other things. Every year I am a little less guilty-feeling that I haven't got decorations up.

The point is not what you think others expect of you, but what you decide for yourself is how you want to observe the season.

Well-done, you.

admiringly,
Bright

slightlv

(2,786 posts)
4. After the Thanksgiving eyeopening with Mom,
Fri Dec 2, 2022, 08:18 PM
Dec 2022

I've decided to downsize considerably on any decorating here. I'm hoping to have a small tree (as in, so small a couple of cats could drag it down the hall!) by Yule. I'll put out some of my favorite decorations, but that's about it.

For the last couple of years, I did it mainly to create a festive environment for Mom when I brought her home to stay with us for a few days from the memory care home. But our heating/cooling isn't reliable right now and beyond that... we saw Mom, herself, was getting pretty much unmanageable. There's over a 100 pound difference between me and Mom, so it's really hard for me to help her, other than giving her a (somewhat) soft spot to land on.

So, rather than do all that decorating here, I think we're just going to go to the nursing home and have Xmas there, with her.

Besides that... decorating is one thing. Putting it all away is something else entirely!!!!

OldBaldy1701E

(5,113 posts)
8. Funnily enough, I am good at repacking the stuff.
Fri Dec 2, 2022, 10:13 PM
Dec 2022

The clean up afterwards is also something I like to do. But once it is all gone, there is a melancholy. Doesn't last too long, but it is there.

slightlv

(2,786 posts)
11. I have a pull down ladder
Fri Dec 2, 2022, 10:24 PM
Dec 2022

to access my attic. Getting all the stuff back up there is quite a bit harder than getting down. I'm real creative at sliding stuff down the ladder (gryn)... so far, I've only slid myself down once!

OldBaldy1701E

(5,113 posts)
14. Fortunately, all the stuff is out in the garage on a shelf, so no attic crawling.
Sat Dec 3, 2022, 07:47 AM
Dec 2022

Which is a good thing, as this place has a very small opening to the attic and it would just be a clusterfuck to try and store stuff up there.

OldBaldy1701E

(5,113 posts)
7. Thanks Bright. The more traditional stuff is comforting to me for some reason.
Fri Dec 2, 2022, 10:12 PM
Dec 2022

and yes, doing what you feel is best is the ticket there. Besides, all you have to do is stick a wreath on the front door and you are decorated!

royable

(1,264 posts)
3. If the holiday is a remider of past misery, even though you didn't ask for any suggestions,
Fri Dec 2, 2022, 08:11 PM
Dec 2022

might I suggest being a bit selective and only put up/out the decorations which you think will best bring you joy, or evoke any other mood that you might wish to anticipate experiencing during the 35 days.

I tend to put out only a handful of old favorites that bring good memories, and what I put out might change from year to year.

Sorry you find yourself wearing a mask and in performance mode.

OldBaldy1701E

(5,113 posts)
9. That is exactly what I do.
Fri Dec 2, 2022, 10:17 PM
Dec 2022

The aspects of it that are 'bad' to me I don't worry with. One of the advantages of living far away from family. (When family is the bulk of your issues with the holiday.)

Meh, I have spent my entire life 'performing' as if I was normal and regular. Although it can be draining, one gets used to it.

OldBaldy1701E

(5,113 posts)
6. I hear that. Saying I am going to jump up and go for it is one thing...
Fri Dec 2, 2022, 10:10 PM
Dec 2022

I may have a different outlook tomorrow. But, I do aim to do it.

Walleye

(31,007 posts)
13. Good luck. I feel the same.There's no right way to deal with it
Fri Dec 2, 2022, 11:32 PM
Dec 2022

I have tried just ignoring the holidays and find myself in January feeling very disoriented. I think I just practice avoidance

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