Ruminating/self loathing

[Sky Jewels]

Like many people, I’m prone to lying awake thinking about every stupid thing I’ve ever done and said. Recently I kicked that into high gear because I made a BIG mistake and got a scammed and exposed some sensitive personal information. Believe me, I should have known better, but a series of events led me into a state of mind when I was vulnerable and gullible. Anyway, I am having trouble sleeping because I have a constant thought loop running of “I am a fucking idiot who blew it and I hate myself.”

Has anyone else gone through something similar? Thanks.

[Basic LA]

1. Sometimes I wonder...

... I must've said & done some good things in my long life. Why do only the negative things pop up?

[Sky Jewels]

10. I know. Things I did or said one, two, three, four or more decades ago are often so fresh in my mind.

It's bizarre.

[multigraincracker]

2. Yep.

You are not alone.

Try to learn from it.

[Sky Jewels]

9. I definitely need to.

It's hard to get over the shock of what I brought on myself, but I know life goes on. Live and learn ... sometimes the hard way!

[bucolic_frolic]

3. Many people have similar thoughts and feelings

Rumination is a terrible affliction. One must learn to accept what's past, realize no one can hurt you for it now because it's long ago and they're not here, so don't inflict pain upon yourself. It is what it is at this point. Don't make it into it is today what it was then because it isn't. Almost all other people won't remember it. Find a place in your mind for better thoughts to squeeze out the ruminating. Get some help with going to sleep - sleepytime tea, light OTC meds. Some foods help sleep. Tomorrow will be better.

[Sky Jewels]

6. Thank you.

I'm going to work on replacing negative with positive things ... count my blessings, as it were. I'm lucky that I do have a lot of good things in my life.

[GPV]

4. Oh, yeah. "I'm such a loser" is a constant refrain in my head. Hope you

can offer yourself some compassion.

[Sky Jewels]

7. Thank you.

And you as well.

[XanaDUer2]

5. I ruminate

I worked for years, got a graduate degree, got disabled, and look at friends and relatives and think you're a loser who fucked up, you'll end up homeless... never travel... all your hard work was for nothing. It's hard not to for me.

It's funny you say you revealed sensitive information. My data was hacked and now I am waiting to see if something bad will happen.

I'm trying to be mindful. Its very, very hard.

I'm sorry this happened. We all have vulnerable moments.

[Sky Jewels]

8. Thanks. It helps to know I'm not alone.

We're all human and mistake-prone. It's so hard to forgive yourself though! Working on it...

[Ziggysmom]

11. When I get to ruminating about past events, I try to sit down and

think about what I would say to my best friend in the same situation. Or, I give myself set limited time each day to devote to rumination. Say 20-30 minutes at a designated time. Then when time is up, no more until same time tomorrow. Sounds a bit silly, but it works for me. My ruminating thoughts are guilt related.

Good Luck!

[Sky Jewels]

12. Thanks for the advice.

I'd rather think about stuff during the day and move on rather than lie awake with my brain spinning with guilt and shame.