In a bad place :(

[Locut0s]

As many here may know if you read the lounge or the mental health board I have a long history of mental problems. Mostly anxiety, depression and the like. You can see my posts in the mental health board for a history. Anyway on top of all my problems I'd turned to binge drinking in resent years. I stopped for a few years but started again a few months back after my last emotional breakdown. I promised myself I would stop and seven posted said promised here on DU but today after a week I caved. I've been having STRONG anxiety and cravings this past 2 weeks. I'm wondering if the new medication I'm on is causing this cause despite my prior history I never felt this way before starting this med combo. I'm used to feeling like a piece of shit and not worthy of exiatance but I haven't felt these cravings till a week or two ago and the anxiety has gotten worse. But then again these are the same symptoms one gets from alcohol dependence Anyway I'm just about at the end of my rope here. I see my psychiatrist tomorrow but am not sure what to tell him. I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel any more.

[NYC_SKP]

1. I would ask what have you tried in the past that worked.

I would start there.

It is useful in creating a recovery plan.'

[Locut0s]

3. The only times I've been happy in the past are...

The only times I've been happy in the past are times when I've been able to put my future "on the back burner" so to speak. When I worked at 711 I told myself this is temporary and I'll worry about my real future later. Before going to school on several occasions I told myself "worry about that stuff later". These periods where I left the real issues "in the future" have always been my happiest and most productive. But I don't feel that way anymore and frankly I can't live my life that way, I have yo choose a path at some point. I can't just live as a parasite off my parents.

[NYC_SKP]

4. I want you to read, "Waiting for Godot".

It's online.

Read it.

Then read it again,

[elleng]

2. Very sorry you feel so bad, Locut0s,

but glad you see your psychiatrist tomorrow. Tell him everything. Its certainly possible the meds are causing this, but he's the one who should either know or be able to find out.

[Locut0s]

7. I find it difficult to open up...

I try but I've been guarded my whole life. I find it difficult to open up to people without actually breaking down and crying and more, though I guess that's what a psychiatrists office is for in some ways.

[elleng]

8. Its definitely what a psychiatrists office is for,

and I expect you can make the decision to do it because you MUST! He should see you cry 'and more,' he's got to understand the depth of your problems.

And maybe he'll find a psycho-pharmacologist for you along the way.

[No Vested Interest]

9. Did you ever notice the box of tissues in every Psychiatrist's office?

They are there because the psychiatrists realize that tears are often - maybe more often than not- part of the process.
They realize the patient- you- is vulnerable. That's why the patient comes - so that together you two can seek remedies. They cannot work magic - they need your participation to make progress.
Good luck, Locut0s!

[Duer 157099]

5. I got nothin' but hugs for ya

and good vibes and all that.

[Locut0s]

6. Thank you. It's not northn' it means something to me! nt.

[moriah]

10. You weren't taken off a benzo, were you?

You don't need to mix alcohol and benzos, but that can cause problems if they take you off abruptly. Alcohol depresses the brain in a similar fashion to benzos, and the GABA system has to readjust to not being depressed all the time.

Natural supplements that can reduce anxiety include GABA itself, along with Melatonin and L-Tryptophan if your anxiety is at night (take the Melatonin about 2-3 hours before you're ready to go to sleep, it takes a good 2-3 weeks on it to regulate a sleep schedule, and don't take more thinking it'll work better). None of those should interact with any of your medications. The way some of these work is by even though they're broken down in the stomach, it's giving you the essential amino acids that are needed to build the brain chemicals, like GABA, by ingesting it.

[hunter]

11. November has always been a rough month for me.

Don't know what that's about. SAD, PTSD???

When my meds are right alcohol is not as interesting to me, but I do know some meds can make alcohol cravings and side effects worse, and alcohol can make the side effects of some meds worse.