Hilarious immersion blender story and comment thread in the NYTimes.

[GoneOffShore]

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/16/dining/immersion-blenders-can-be-a-danger-in-disguise.html?pagewanted=1&_r=2&smid=tw-share&

OF the many primal noises to emanate from the modern kitchen — crackle, sizzle, “mmm” and so forth — “AAAGGGHHH!” is not one anybody wants to hear. But that’s what shattered the uneasy peace last July 4 at the white clapboard house my in-laws rent every year in Annisquam, Mass.

The sound was coming from my mouth. And the blood was seeping from my left index and middle fingers, which seconds earlier had been trying, with some absence of mind, to pry stiff clumps of butter intended for chocolate-chip cookies from the blades of an immersion blender. The countertop beneath looked like the set of Dan Aykroyd’s famous and gory Julia Child parody on “Saturday Night Live” in 1978.

“I’ll never play the viola again,” was the first thought to flash through my mind. (I haven’t touched the instrument in 20 years.)

Creaming butter? With an immersion blender? Really?

Okay.
I'll admit that I've used a mandolin without a guard and have the scars to prove it. I've also sliced my fingers with a knife or three. I've burnt myself with hot fat, hot water, hot pans, hot spoons and boiling sugar. I've burnt my cuts and cut my burns working in kitchens. I've even sliced the top of my finger open when trying to "bouquet" Champagne coups and broke one (that exploit entailed a visit to the emergency room and stitches - my bad).
But when I'm using appliances in the kitchen I use them for their intended purpose and unplug them when they clog or jam and when it's time to clean them.

5 votes, 0 passes | Time left: Unlimited
	I've sliced myself on the mandolin because I didn't use the guard.
	2 (40%)
	I've cut a bagel in half and my palm at the same time.
	0 (0%)
	Once I lost a batch of pesto in a fight with the blender and a bamboo chopstick or similar.
	0 (0%)
	I always unplug my mixer/blender/immersion blender/Cuisinart when cleaning it.
	3 (60%)
	I've never done any of the above.
	0 (0%)
	I've done 1, 2, 3 plus other dumb stuff in the kitchen.
	0 (0%)
	I've done 1, 2, 3 and 4.
	0 (0%)
	These things don't happen to me because I only make reservations for dinner.
	0 (0%)
	Other.
	0 (0%)
	0 DU members did not wish to select any of the options provided.
Show usernames Disclaimer: This is an Internet poll

[GoneOffShore]

1. I forgot to add - Tell us about dumb stuff you've done in the kitchen.

Share your horror stories, please.

[surrealAmerican]

2. Let's just say, I now do all my veggie shredding in the food processor ...

... because I have never managed to use a box grater without injury. I've also avoided getting a mandolin, even though it might be kind of handy - I'm just too likely to hurt myself with it.

[gkhouston]

7. LOL, you might be my husband. Although I regualrly collect mystery bruises off the furniture,

I'm very good about not grating my fingers. I did, however, buy a grating glove for him. It works great, when he remembers to use it.

[hollysmom]

3. wow, I am lucky or conservative in the kitchen,.

Always unplug the immersion blender when cleaning it - my brother lost part of the fingers on his right hand cleaning a snow blower and we lost more than one rubber spatula in the blender.
Never use a guard on a mandolin, but have no hurt myself either, always use a bagel holder to get straighter cuts,

But burns, always get burns - usually for forgetting to use a potholder and reaching in the oven to take something out. Why???? I have no idea, my mind is just somewhere else. Thankfully, my oven has ceased working, so I am on a reprieve from this injury right now.

[guardian]

4. burnt off most of my eyebrows

opening a really hot oven and not waiting to look inside.

[guardian]

5. Sorry. Meant to reply to post #1. n/t

[sinkingfeeling]

6. I didn't injure myself, but I sure did make a mess over the holidays. On Christmas Eve day,

I decided to make two batches of nougat from a recipe I had cut out of BHG years ago. One version has dried cherries and toasted hazelnuts and the other has dried pineapple and toasted macadamia nuts. It takes a fairly long time to cook the batch to 286 degrees and then beat a slow stream of the syrup into the egg whites.

As I was finishing the second batch, for some unknown reason, instead of turning the stand mixer off as I was raising the beater, I went into high speed. I threw nougat in my hair, down my sweater, across the kitchen to the wall cabinets, on the floor, and under the microwave! It was so much fun trying to get it off my skin! I found that letting it cool completely, worked best.

[gkhouston]

8. I've splattering the kitchen a few times and once burned a pot of soup.

I'm not talking a little burnt... I'm talking a solid inch of carbon. But it was a good pot, so after soaking generously, I killed a Chore Girl or two scrubbing it down while watching a movie. An entire movie, and not a short one.

I always unplug appliances and I don't touch blender blades with my bare fingers.

[cbayer]

9. I had this silicone baking sheet that I used for making cookies, biscuits, etc.

I also had a similarly colored roll of thick, flexible plastic used for keeping things from sliding when we are underway.

I confused them once and set the oven on fire.

[GoneOffShore]

10. Ah - something similar happened to me.

I usually proof pizza dough in the oven with the light on but not the oven itself. One day I forgot that the dough was still in the oven wrapped in food wrap and turned the oven on to pre-heat it.

Ten minutes later there was the smell of burning plastic.

[Nay]

11. I've shredded my knuckles on a grater. The last debacle occurred when the hotpad slipped when

I was removing a preheating cast iron skillet from a 500-degree oven. That entailed a trip to the ER because it really, really, really hurt -- as it turned out, ER personnel looked at me like I was a putz. But man, did that hurt, and the blister that was coming up was terrifying.

I've also cut myself with knives (who hasn't?) and had various ingredients shoot themselves into my eye (hot peppers, anyone?). Cooking is dangerous.

[GoneOffShore]

13. It is dangerous indeed -

I should have a sign in my kitchen -

Danger. Pointu, chaud et parfois glissant. Utilisation à votre propre risque!

"Danger. Sharp, hot and sometimes slippery. Use at your own risk."

[bif]

12. I burn myself all the time

The latest hazard is a relatively new toaster oven. I routinely put my hand into it to pull something out. Forgetting that the burner hangs dow about an inch or so.

[SeattleVet]

14. I've done some dumb things, but not any of the above...

I've burned myself, run an icepick through my thumb, and managed to burn the bottom out of an old aluminum pot one day. (I had some oil in it to pop some popcorn, and when I grabbed it off of the stove after the smoke detectors went off and tried to get it to the sink the whole bottom dripped off and burned holes through the linoleum and into the masonite below.)

I know how dangerous the kitchen can be, and make safety my priority when I'm cooking/prepping.

I like to keep all of my good knives *sharp*. (Did you know that you can actually slice a radish so thin that the slice is a little transparent 'window' with a red edging?) Knowing that they are like razors keeps my attention all the time when I'm using them. I've nicked a fingernail but not drawn blood in several years.

If I'm using the broiler I watch it like a hawk. I've seen too many people walk away 'for just a second' and have flames shooting out.

When I'm brewing beer I stay right with the pot when it's on the Cajun cooker burner.

[japple]

15. Burning things is one of our family specialties!

Setting a pan with oil on a burner, turning it on and then going outside just for 1/2 minute always sets off the smoke detector and creates an odor in the house for days. Putting toast in the toaster oven and going to do a quick check of my email does the same thing! Turning the broiler on low to brown the top of a pale cake will blacken a work of art in a second if you turn your back.

[WhollyHeretic]

16. I've got a pretty good scar on my index finger from trying to cut an onion with a dull knife many

years ago. I got a few stitches and had no feeling in part of my finger for several years. The feeling did mostly come back. That's my only big accident in the kitchen. I've had a couple of minor burns and started a blender a couple times without the lid on.

I really don't get the butter and immersion blender thing. I can't see that working very well.

[Chellee]

17. I always unplug stuff before cleaning it.

However, I have cut myself (not badly enough to merit a trip to the ER) trying to get the pit out of an avocado.

I have also, twice, TWICE, forgotten that I was making hard-boiled eggs and let the pot boil itself dry. Aaahhh... the smell of eggs shells burning in the bottom of the pot. At least I didn't set the house on fire, what with the whole, "forgot the stove was on" thing.

[Graybeard]

18. 'cut a bagel'?

Bagels shouldn't be cut with a knife. I use a fork pushed into the side towards the center hole. Do this all around the bagel and the two halves can be pulled apart. This creates a great texture, full of 'nooks and crannies' that toast nicely.

[Retrograde]

19. Broke a lamp with a champagne cork once

I decided to aim it away from the people in the room, but it ricocheted off my hand and hit the lamp globe over the table, showering shards of glass all over brunch. We ended up going out to eat.

Otherwise, I've splattered myself with hot liquid while trying to use the immersion blender - I think it's because I'm too short: it needs to be held vertically, which is a lot easier for my much taller husband, so he's now the designated stick blender person.

I've lost bits of wooden spoon to the blender while making pesto, but that just adds extra fiber

[Glassunion]

20. Every cook/chef has their nemesis in the kitchen.

My grandfather always had issues with appliances that are plugged in: blenders, mixers, microwaves, etc...

My father always had issues with sharp implements: knives, mandolins, slicers, etc...

My issues are always with heat. Not fire so much as heat. I burn myself all the time. To the point that I have the mirror image of the words "All Clad" branded in my palm.

[GoneOffShore]

21. Don't have that trademark on my hand.

But I kind of wish I did.

[Glassunion]

22. It's a simple one to get...

Just forget that you just took a pan out from under a salamander and then pick it up with your bare hands.