Someone's sick in this scenario, but I can't figure out who

[Tab]

http://gawker.com/bitch-make-me-300-sandwiches-orders-beautiful-woman-1383577562

[PoliticAverse]

1. The person responsible for the Gawker article perhaps?

Starting with the headline, to phrases like "terrifyingly beautiful" and a link to a NY Post article...

[Warpy]

2. If "why haven't you made me a sandwich?" was the standard line

when I'd only been out of bed long enough to pee, I'd probably consider hiring two very large drag queens to jump into bed and squeeze him in the middle and say "OK, now you're a sandwich."

My bags would be packed, of course.

[Nac Mac Feegle]

3. You owe me a new keyboard

There's no way I can ever use it again after what I just snorted onto it.