Is it too early to talk Thanksgiving disasters?

[Tab]

Sometimes you can be a power of example to others of what not to do.

I've had years where (starting out) I've either overcooked or undercooked a turkey, but the one thing I remember is a family legend that probably occurred when I was either not yet born or was extremely young. My parents were visiting my aunt's house, many years ago, and my aunt had this wonderful old classic oven but had overstuffed the turkey and (I assume) sewn it up too tight, and when she took it out of the oven and did something to it (don't know what) it exploded and sent turkey parts all over the kitchen and to the ceiling. Needless to say, it couldn't really be eaten. I think they all just drank wine instead.

[northoftheborder]

1. Heh!!!

Worst disaster at holiday (might have been Christmas) and only associated with cooking indirectly:

Someone broke a glass in the disposal while it was going! My three grown sons agreed that the correct thing to do was to vacuum the glass out, and over my protests, proceeded to try to do that. Of course the glass which could not be vacuumed out completely disabled the disposal, and the glass and liquid in the disposal ruined the vacuum cleaner!!! ARGHHHH!

Besides that time, my disposal stories are "storied". I stop mine up frequently, usually in a hurry cooking something before a large gathering of people which needs a large quantity of peeled vegetables or fruit: carrot & apple & potato peels are my favorite.

Most embarrasing failure to provide proper food for semi-vegetarian guest: (could eat poultry and fish). All the ingredients for a delicious roasted quail were assembled. I opened the packages of quail, purchased the day before, and they were spoiled. So, we had to have left-over ham pieces from the Christmas ham; of course the semi-vegetarian could not eat it, and since I did not have enough side dishes the meal was less than adequate. This same family member later gave up her non meat-eating only to become wheat intolerant. We had fixed a delicious chili as the main dish (not holiday) but never thought to check the chili mix seasoning package which had wheat traces. AARGGH! Failure again.

I've almost stopped cooking for large gatherings - it's now the next generation's turn!!!

[Warpy]

2. My mother actually did roast a whole chicken with the guts inside,

the classic "whaddya mean stuff it? it wasn't hollow!" Yes, she and my dad went out for hamburgers that night.

The only major disasters I remember weren't on holidays, it was during her mercifully brief infatuation with Gayelord Hauser, the wheat germ king. She was just generally a very unenthusiastic and always a resentful cook and it showed. She never served undercooked turkey, at any rate, and of course the breast was dry, that happens if you want the legs and thighs cooked perfectly. Pan gravy compensated nicely.

I don't buy the exploding turkey story. The stuffing might have exited the cavity enthusiastically, but didn't have enough power to blow apart cooked muscle and bone unless she'd tucked in a couple of blasting caps for flavoring.

It's a fun story, though.

[Tab]

3. They swear it's true

I wasn't there, or wasn't old enough, so I don't know, but both my aunt and my mother have told it. In my aunt's version (she's 90 now) it happened in the oven. In my mother's version (she's 80 now) it was removed from the oven. I honestly think it happened and she had sewn it too tight; thinking about it, my aunt's versions is probably more accurate because I can see that happening while cooking, not so much on removal. Regardless, the damned thing apparently did explode and ruined something, and couldn't be eaten.

[fizzgig]

4. we undercooked the turkey three or four years ago

but we were just stupid about it. the thermometer went off after a suspiciously short amount of time and for some reason we didn't temp it in another spot and just pulled it out

i set the marshmallows on the sweet potatoes on fire under the broiler a few years ago. we tried to make some fancy red wine gravy that year and it just came out lumpy and purple.

[BlueToTheBone]

5. I'm trying something completely different this year.

I have purchased pastured turkeys in the past and they are always stringy and tough. So this year I did some research and low and behold, you don't cook the turkey at 325, you cook at 400 for a short period of time, like an hour. I'm also going to brine it because that is supposed to keep the flavor and juiciness in. Wish me luck. It will either work or we'll have a vegetarian meal. Family and friends dinner for 10. :fingers crossed:

[Tab]

6. I've tried brining

It's tricky because if you overdo it, it becomes too stiff and might be almost ham-like. The main problem is that it takes up a hell of a lot of space in the fridge. I tried it when I owned a large home with two fridges, but I don't see how I could do that now.

A lot of recipes do have roasting meat at a high temp then dropping it, so you're not necessarily on the wrong track, the problem is that people normally cook turkeys once a year, and there's a little learning curve to be applied, so it can take a few attempts. Barbara Kafka's book on Roasting is a good reference as are a zillion web articles on Thanksgiving turkeys.

[BlueToTheBone]

7. Yes, it said to brine no more than 12-18 hours. I thought I go for the light end.

I glad you reminded me. I had trouble adjusting the refrigerator temp to 38 degrees. It loves 30. So I added an extra day for the pork because it said under 34 there wouldn't be the chemical reaction. But I think I'll err on the side of not over brining. I'll put the turkey in the day before Thanksgiving so it can rest overnight after its brining bath.

Happy food! I have an instant temp thermometer so I feel confident. My book doesn't say turn down the heat, but if the breast is done and the legs aren't hack the legs off and put them back in for another few minutes.

[pinto]

8. Neighbor's dog dragged the turkey off the sideboard, where it was left to set. Into the backyard,

where any number of dogs joined in for a Thanksgiving turkey. The carcass was recovered before they got to the bones.

A large family, six kids. So a lot of sides were already made. The whole works save the turkey. So, we had a group meal at our house. Plenty of stuff and enough turkey so everyone had a bite. More potatoes, green beans and pie than we could eat.

And a lot of laughs along the way. "The dog ate our turkey!" One of my favorite Thanksgivings.

[trixicopper]

9. the year of the sugarless pumpkin pies

One of those oops moments. Hey, they looked and smelled great. Taste, not so much. Extra whipped cream didn't help. We tried.

[Nac Mac Feegle]

10. Every family as this one:

First year married, in our case. Wife cooks up the turkey in the typical small apartment oven (small bird). Doesn't know about the 'other' bag of giblets in the neck cavity. The bag itself added an odd flavor to the turkey. She felt better when told the reason I knew about it was that my mom had done the same thing many years earlier.

For some reason, I've been cooking T-day dinner for the past 25+ years. Self defense, possibly?