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Sat Jul 29, 2017, 08:34 AM

Writing about food: Eddie Huang, "Fresh Off The Boat"

"Every day, I got sent to school with Chinese lunch. Some days it was tomato and eggs over fried rice, others it was braised beef and carrots with Chinese broccoli ... . I'd open up the Igloo lunchbox and stale moist air would waft up with weak traces of soy sauce, peanut oil, and scallions. I didn't care about the smell, since it was all I knew, but no one wanted to sit with the stinky kid. Even If they didn't sit with me, they'd stand across the room pointing at me with their noses pinched, eyes pulled back, telling ching-chong jokes. It was embarrassing so I asked Mom to start packing me some white people food.

"I walked up to Jeff's room ... I couldn't believe my eyes. Everywhere you walked: toys, games, huge television, stuffed animals, it was like living in a Toys 'R' Us. ... These fuckers had EVERYTHING. ... I literally rolled around in video games ... and then went to the bathroom and wiped my ass with their fancy toilet paper just to see how it felt. When you washed your hands, they had hand towels so you didn't have to wipe your face with the towel your brother wiped his balls with ten minutes ago. ... I felt like some wild gremlin child living in a Chinese hell after going to their home. ... I wanted to be white so fucking bad. But then dinner happened. All of us sat down. I had never eaten at a white person's house, but I figured they ate pizza, hot dogs, or something like that. After a few minutes, Jeff's mom came out of the kitchen with two bowls. One bowl was filled with goopy orange stuff. For a second, I thought they might be little boiled intestines in an orange sauce, which I could get down with, but on closer inspection they were unlike any intestines I'd ever seen. The other bowl was gray and filled with a fibrous material mixed with bits of celery. I thought to myself, These white people like really mushy food.

"She also gave us each two pieces of bread, the same plain Wonder Bread I saw at school. Jeff started wiping the gray stuff on the bread. I didn't want to come off like an idiot so I did the same thing. I put the other slice on top, lifted up ... but holy shit, that smell. ... I took a deep breath, clutched my orange juice, and forced myself to take a bite. ... I couldn't hide it anymore, I had to ask. 'What is this, man?' 'You've never had tuna fish sandwiches?' ... 'OK, but what's the orange stuff?' 'Macaroni and cheese.' ... The shit was so nasty. We never ate cheese and it stunk like feet. ... I suddenly realized that converting to white wouldn't be easy ... ."

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Reply Writing about food: Eddie Huang, "Fresh Off The Boat" (Original post)
betsuni Jul 2017 OP
FM123 Jul 2017 #1
lunasun Jul 2017 #2

Response to betsuni (Original post)

Sat Jul 29, 2017, 08:45 AM

1. Love his show Huang's World on Vice!

Not only is Eddie a chef, restauranteur, author, producer etc. he is also an attorney (guy does everything)

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Response to betsuni (Original post)

Sat Jul 29, 2017, 09:47 AM

2. Great tale! Love Eddie!

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