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Thu Jul 4, 2019, 01:07 PM

Hi everyone...need some help here.

I've never posted to this group before, but I hope you guys can guide me in the right direction.

My niece is having serious problems with her 16 year old daughter...details are irrelevant, but it starts with her being a flat out pathological liar and proceeds from there. She's been in therapy for a few years, and nothing seems to be helping. Even though her parents have taken her electronic devices and only let her use them under supervision for school work, she still manages to get on social media and spread some of the most egregious stories imaginable. CPS actually visited the house and opened a case because she made all her friends and their parents believe she was living in a hell hole.

Anyhow, all the adults in the room have come to the realization that the "regular" paths aren't working...she needs to go into a program for troubled kids, and this is where you guys come in.

I worry about these "conversion camps" masquerading as something that can help your kid, but screw them up worse. Does anyone here have any recommendations, or know someone you trust who can? I've been looking on the web, but again, they can say whatever they want, but who knows how they operate? They live on the east coast, but I don't think location would be an issue.

Thanks so much in advance for any advice or information you may be able to offer.

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Response to WinstonSmith4740 (Original post)

Thu Jul 4, 2019, 01:11 PM

1. Has she been diagnosed with a disorder?

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Response to WinstonSmith4740 (Original post)

Thu Jul 4, 2019, 01:16 PM

2. I just sent you an email

I think I can help you with what she needs

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Response to WinstonSmith4740 (Original post)

Thu Jul 4, 2019, 01:27 PM

3. This might be off the wall but I have heard some people

who have chemical food imbalances and a drastically changed diet makes a difference. Even this might require an out of her home, more disciplined environment. However, I would be very wary of those facilities. One of the people who worked for me put her son in a facility because he was being destructive. I never saw deliberate mean action on his part just very bad judgment. He did not seem changed to me when he came back except to be even more angry at his parents.

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Response to WinstonSmith4740 (Original post)

Thu Jul 4, 2019, 01:29 PM

4. It needs to start with a physical exam and go from there. Please tell her not to jump on

what seems like an easy fix.

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Response to WinstonSmith4740 (Original post)

Thu Jul 4, 2019, 01:35 PM

5. When I was a teen, my younger sister lied about anything as the fallout amused her.

In her late teens she was diagnosed as schizophrenic. Not sure if the two were connected, but, her lack of compassion for those she hurt with her lies was certainly part of her schizophrenia.

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Response to blm (Reply #5)

Thu Jul 4, 2019, 04:16 PM

7. Thank you so much.

...her lack of compassion for those she hurt with her lies

OMG...this just jumped out at me. She has absolutely NO feelings about anything. When you try to talk to her, her eyes are "dead"...no expression, nothing.

My niece and her husband are about at the end of their rope. She (great niece) has acknowledged her lies...she's been confronted by her therapist, her school administration, her teachers, and her counselors. She's lost friends over this...but unfortunately, not the ones she should be loosing. They live in New Jersey, and I think her parents are scared to death she's going to turn into a New York runaway.

After she had told anyone that would listen that her parents were the worst parents this side of Mars, (and the CPS visit) they did an "intervention" at school. She claims she doesn't want to come back to Nevada to live with her grandmother, or go anywhere else for that matter. That makes sense to me, because I really think (and she has admitted this to her dad) this is all about attention. And her behavior gets her the attention she wants.

Thanks so much for your advice...I'm sure I'll be back when they're here next week with more questions.

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Response to WinstonSmith4740 (Reply #7)

Thu Jul 4, 2019, 05:10 PM

8. Schizophrenia often reveals itself in the midt-teen years

Wishing you the best. The diagnosis is the beginning. There is medication that is effective.....as long as they stay on it.

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Response to WinstonSmith4740 (Original post)

Thu Jul 4, 2019, 01:51 PM

6. i'm kinda dubious of therapy for teens in general, but i get something needs to happen.

been there done that.

middle kid was in therapy at 14, spent a couple weeks in the ward, got into a therapeutic day school that saved her life.
was on and off meds, tearful arguments included, lies and hiding and all.

her therapist was important to getting her the help she needed, but i also believe that she told tall tales about us that caused him to be completely closed to any input from us, or any help on the family level.
in the long run, i believe she spun tales for him for so long, that were swallowed so whole, that she came to believe them.

as an adult, she is taking daily meds, acknowledges her bi-polar, and her borderline. she has "forgiven" me for the assaults of her imagination.
when you are a mom, you take that.


so, i also have a son that i believe is schizophrenic, refuses treatment, and a nightmare to live w.
i needed the cops to get him out of the house, and he has bounced around some.
one of his landing spots was w a cousin who is retired army, working at the pentagon. he let him land in their empty nest, but they laid out strict terms. work or get in school, get therapy, get a grip, or get out.
he had one "come to jesus" talk, and he responded by hiding, playing video games and drinkin the man's booze.

i am sure he took some real lessons from that.
i think a big part of any rescue of kids like this is giving them a structure to hang onto until them get on their feet.

if there is a relative that is willing to give this kid some structure and rhythm, and help her get some help, an outside adult can often be a life saver.

if she is not bumping up against the law, it might be hard to "make" her get help.
mom and dad should visit the local police station, and see if they have a domestic specialist, or a crisis intervention team that might be able to help them.
it can be an incredible comfort to have the phone number of an actual person who knows the story that you can call in a crisis. it is a little like russian roulette calling 911.
a couple of run ins w the law, and they can probably get her bakered, and at least get a dx, if she is willing to cooperate.
at any rate, she gets a ride to the er w the cops, and a long sit to see how out of it she is.

one more clue- find out where the ambulance would take her, and make sure they have psyche beds in that hospital. my nearest hospital doesnt, but has them in their network. they arent always available. my son sat all night and half a day waiting for a bed to open up. second trip i learned to ask for the cit- crisis intervention team- as they only take them where there is an open bed.
they wanted to give him 30 days, but he refused, refused to take any meds anyway, and got his sister to say he wasnt a danger, even tho she has wagged her finger at me to get him out of the house because she thought he might go off.

your niece has all my heart, as does her daughter.
feel free to pm me, and also suggest that you hit the mental health support forum. those people got me through 2 crazy adolescents.
you will be surrounded w hugs.




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