My kid listens to his teacher but not me.

[RandySF]

All year I listened with glee while my six-year son's kindergarten teacher and after-school instructor told me how wonderful and attentive he was during class. They described him as bright, responsible, excellent in math, ready to help others and always making sure the classroom was clean. What child are they talking about? Every day this summer, I give him a little bit of homework to do to keep his brain active and prepare him for the 1st grade. He goofs off. He argues. He acts like no one gave him any instruction for the past 9 months and he flat-out tells me I am not his teacher. When I told a few days ago that I am responsible for his safety (he was angry I did not let him run across the street with his friends), he said "you're not one of the summer camp volunteers." WTF? Did we actually have twins? Is there a kid who goes home with me and another who goes somewhere else? What do i do?

[NYC_SKP]

1. I think he's playing you, discovering pushing daddy's buttons and expanding boundaries.

And I think it's quite natural, maybe even a sign of higher than average intelligence, but giving in to any unreasonable behaviors could have lifelong negative consequences.

Be firm. Describe consequences and STICK TO THEM.

He'll know that you love him from the boundaries you set, and if you're weak he'll have less respect for you.

Good luck.

[Tumbulu]

2. goes on with my 11 yr old, too

Wow, sounds exactly like what I go through. I am looking forward to reading more responses.

[G26]

3. Different consequences?

What happens (or what does he think would happen) if he argued with a teacher?

What happens when he argues with you?

[pnwmom]

4. This is normal, according to a column I once read by a child psychologist.

Your child exhibits his best, newest, most mature behavior away from home. And then when he's back with you and he's safe, he relaxes. That's okay, because the behavior he's exhibiting at school is the direction he's going in.

I just had lunch with some people from my son's former school, and there was a similar discussion. A request was made by a parent for the school to encourage kids to go to bed earlier-- since his kid listened much better to his teachers than to him. The principal understood and agreed immediately that this would be a good idea.