This is just a fly-by

[IrishAyes]

But I'm furious enough to chew nails and violate my self-imposed ban on weekday internet use, at least briefly.

Though he's not quite the worst neighbor I ever had, there's a geezer on my south side who needs heavy meds or something. When the chows were alive, I caught him more than once leaning over the fence, waving his arms, and cussing a blue streak at them just to stir them up so he could run indoors and phone in a noise complaint. I had to raise hell about it at a city council meeting in order to get it stopped, and believe me, they're not used to women standing up for themselves around here. At least they weren't until I arrived.

Now that my beloved chows are gone and Molly Maguire (mini-beagle/pom mix) and Brigid (JRT) live here, all of a sudden the old fart's up to much the same business again. I just got another call on my recorder from the police chief saying that there'd been another complaint about sustained barking at all hours of the day and night. I fired back on his recorder that I didn't need to be told who complained and that it's all a damned lie.

As I reminded Chief Bill, my dogs are always in the house when I go somewhere. In good weather when they want to and deserve to play outdoors, I make sure I can hear them if they let out the first peep. All dogs are going to bark at another dog walking past their fence, but the rare occasions it goes on more than a couple minutes, I'm right out there to see what's going on. My dogs are also always indoors all night and during my usual afternoon nap. And I certainly don't turn them loose to roam like most other people do their animals.l

Heck, I even stay up until almost 11 p.m., which I don't enjoy, just so I can give the dogs a final quick potty break that will generally last them until 6 a.m. Only rarely do they need to go out during the night and then I stand out there with them in case they get after a rabbit or something! How many people consider their neighbors that much??????????

Besides, as I reminded Chief Bill, there are so many dogs in this neighborhood that how can his precious old buddy know which one's barking at night? He can't! And if he somehow manages to get a fine levied on me anyway because of his connections, I'll take him to small claims court and raise every single bit of hell I can; believe me, I'm good at it. Who knows, this might even be politically motivated, he's such a damned teabagger.

[TygrBright]

1. Internet cameras are small, cheap, inconspicuous.

Just sayin...

innocently,
Bright

[IrishAyes]

3. Yes, they can be very useful

In this case, however, I don't think he's doing that to these dogs because they truly don't bark all that much, especially not the crazed fury barking dogs do when they've been harassed. The man's just decided for whatever reason to lie on the phone because he hates me and wants to cause trouble. Perhaps my other neighbors who've gradually warmed up to me can be counted on to speak for me in court, because that's where it's apparently headed. Police Chief Bill just this morning called and said the man's adamant and wants to go to court, so there's no way to avoid that, I guess.

I'm probably lucky he hasn't poisoned them; he has referred in the past to 'other ways to shut them up' and does have severe health problems, sounded like something terminal from what I've overheard, and that could explain part of his problem. But the way he's shouted at me about political things convinces me that's part of it too.

[hamsterjill]

6. Assholes come in all shapes and sizes, don't they?

Sounds like you've got the idiot figured out AND that you've got the police chief as a reasonable person in this mix, too.

If you haven't already, make sure you get it into the police report that the idiot has threated "other ways to shut them up". Never hurts to have a record.

[NYC_SKP]

2. Use your camera phone or other means to catch him, just once.

Document his crappy behavior and then make your complaint against him to the Chief.

Police don't take lightly abuse of their time, and it might even be a crime to harass the animals and then make a call.

Document it.

[IrishAyes]

4. Please see my reply to other poster

Since we're apparently headed to court no matter what, I am going to prepare a detailed written statement ahead of time. The Chief says he can't do anything about it.

[NYC_SKP]

5. Good luck. I don't think a judge or jury will like what the neighbor is doing.

[IrishAyes]

7. Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch...

The most delicious karma landed in my lap just before lunch, after what started out a lousy day. Our tiny little burg happens to be a Tree City, and I'd already planted a forsythia tree and 6 Rose(s) of Sharon on the right of way outside my gate, not to mention a thick ground cover of various spreading hostas, flanked on each end by antique painted metal headboards. (I enjoy design.)

Anyway, there was only one potential planting spot left, reserved for a free redbud tree from the city to enhance our Tree City qualification. After such a stressful morning when I couldn't even do my shopping halfway right, I'd barely gone indoors to put away groceries when the phone rang. It was a City Official calling to tell me he was waiting at the gate with my new tree!

What? Hadn't heard a single peep from either dog, both of whom were outdoors already. When I dashed out they had their front paws as far up the fence as they could reach, and City Official plus two helpers were all petting them. I joked about being careful around those loud vicious watchdogs, because it occurred to me to ask City Official if he'd be willing to testify to their basically quiet natures in court.

Of course the poor man had to ask why I was headed to court, and I said, "That old fart (name) wants to drag me before a judge on charges of harboring noise nuisance animals! You saw what a loud row they raised when 3 guys they'd never seen before showed up."

Knowing the nasty neighbor too well to need further explanation, City Official asked, "Have you tried to pacify him with a homemade apple pie?" Maybe he was playing straight man for the occasion, but I rose to the bait anyway.

"Hell, no. I'm afraid I might put something in it that he wouldn't appreciate!" to myself: like ExLax

City Official, laughing: "Well, then don't bake one for us either if you're going to do that!"

Me: "Oh, I wouldn't do that to you folks. You've been better to me than I deserve, not worse."

C.O.: "Really, though... Why don't you try to sweeten him up?"

Yeah, right. As if his targets currying favor hadn't contributed to the man's sociopathy.

Me: "There IS no peace to be made with someone who calls me a dirty commie and tells other lies to get me in trouble."

By that time the tree was planted and the guys and I waved a merry goodbye to one another as they drove off. Now while I don't share the old fart's blanket condemnation of all those on the very, very far left of the political spectrum, he did mean to call me the worst thing he could in RedNeckLand. But most of all I was so thrilled to have 3 new witnesses that my dogs are NOT frantic little mindless yappers. Especially when normally they would indeed have barked at least a brief greeting to my visitors. Sweet Karma, this time they were totally silent.

Before 3 city witnesses. Count 'em - THREE!