Hi I just asked this in the thread I wrote last month

[gopiscrap]

Last month, the best pet I ever had died. Stewie was this most wonderful social and interactive cat and we just all loved him so much and seriously grieved at his death. Many of you wrote very loving condolences and we so appreciated that. My dilemma. My teenage daughter misses having a pet and she would like for us to get another kitten soon. I don't know if I am ready for that but yet, I don't want to deprive her of that companionship and for her to have a creature that needs her care along with the rest of us. The problem is that I had never grieved so over a per such as Stewie. He was so unique and special. How long does one normally wait after a sorrowful pet death before adding another fury member to the family? Thanks for your advise! Mike

[OnyxCollie]

1. Your next cat will be unique and special, too.

A new pet is very helpful in overcoming the grief of a deceased pet.

[sinkingfeeling]

2. Everybody is different. When I have lost some very special dogs, I have

gotten another within a month's time. That's because I just couldn't bear being in the house without hearing them. Other times I've waited a year or more. Each animal is different and none are a 'replacement' for the one which was lost. I often think that adopting another dog is a fitting honor to the one that has died; that if they could communicate with me, they would want me to give another abandoned animal my love.

[Sanity Claws]

3. Wait long enough that you won't see the new one as a replacement

You have to be able to see the new pet as an entirely new animal and not compare him/her to the last one. Perhaps having one that looks very different from the deceased will be enough for you in which case you don't need to wait any longer.

[roody]

4. Nothing heals the heart like a new bambino in the house. nt

[arthritisR_US]

5. Grief is as individual as we all are. Stewie cannot

and will never be replaced. He will always reside in your heart and the hole he has left will just become more bearable with time.

If you choose to get her a new kitten you may find a pleasant surprise in your healing journey. The love that kitten will bring could prove wonderful medicine. Love is such a powerful healer for grief and it could end up erecting Stewie to the pedestal of thankfulness to him and the universe. Thankful that he allowed you into his life and all the joys entailed and thankful to the universe for bestowing on you such a blessing as Stewie.

[Auntie Bush]

10. That was beautifully written.

[arthritisR_US]

11. Thank you luv. Recognizing the pain she's in and how small words can be

I hope it helped.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

6. Stewie is irreplaceable, of course, but

adopting a kitten could help all of you feel better. Think of it as Stewie's legacy: You loved him and now you can give that same love to another cat who needs a home.

[TorchTheWitch]

7. I grappled about this one a lot myself

Though I had no other people like family members in my home to consider. As one of my brother's wisely said to me, life sometimes has a way of running roughshod over what he called "The Decent Interval" (read: that amount of time between losing one pet and gaining a new one). He explained to me how he lost his long time loved kitty and expected to honor the loss by not getting another one until the end of an undetermined "Decent Interval", however, a couple of weeks after losing his beloved kitty a stray undernourished kitty arrived at his door in the pouring rain... and well, you know how that goes. Moral of the story is that there was no specific period of "The Decent Interval", it really doesn't exist, and he was much happier having another kitty in his life to love which is really all that matters.

I've always been of the opinion that for me personally, I need to get another pet almost right away even though I get pangs of guilt doing it before the end of the self-imposed "Decent Interval" because, for me, I've discovered that during that "Decent Interval" I'm lonely and depressed, and it's just terrible whereas the new pet does away with most of that, and I can be happy again having that great hole in my heart that the other pet left behind with their passing filled by the new pet.

Moral of the story is that "The Decent Interval" is entirely subjective depending on the circumstances, the feelings of the people involved, etc. and sometimes doesn't really occur at all. We all seem to feel that there needs to be some time for "The Decent Interval" but I think we also put too much stock in that it so necessary. If losing a beloved pet and getting another the very next day makes you feel better and gives a pet a loving home, than who cares there was no "Decent Interval"? And who says you can't grieve for the loss of one pet while still having another one? Because you can, and I've done it with each one myself.

Don't worry about "The Decent Interval". There really isn't one other than the one we believe we should have that is entirely subjective and entirely of undetermined length.

[Curmudgeoness]

8. I have waited up to a year, and as little as one month.

I have never "replaced" the pet that I lost, but I do love having a furry member of the family around. This last time, it was within a month that I got another cat, and it was probably the best way to do it. I mourned a lot more when I kept saying that I wasn't ready. This time, although I still miss all the cats I have lost, I was forced to move on and give love to the new kitty instead of grieving.

But it is up to you what is best for your family. You could consider your daughter's feeling too....but since she is a teenager, you may have this pet a lot longer than she is around.

[japple]

9. Do it for your daughter.