Just told the pups we don't eat Jehovah Witnesses

[Phentex]

Doorbell rang and the dogs went ballistic. I'm expecting a package so I thought that it was arriving. Nope. Just a couple of very nice ladies inviting me to a convention. Had to open the door just a crack because of the dogs.

[Zambero]

1. My wife is hounded by visiting Mormons

She is former LDS with no intention of rejoining the church decades after leaving. They are very persistent however. Nice enough, but utterly incapable of taking the hint.

[Phentex]

3. Have never had Mormons here...

but get the JWs from time to time.

[Zambero]

18. LDS visits tend to be more targeted

If someone has left the flock, they do whatever it takes to find you, and keep tabs on you. Over the past 12 years, my wife and I have moved across the country a couple of times (job related and not to escape the Mormons) and they still know where to find her. We recently had an "elder" drop by who could not have been a day over 25. Yeah, I might go with one of the no-solicitation signs.

[LuckyLib]

7. You need our little plaque next to the doorbell: "No solicitors, religious or otherwise. We are

happy just the way we are. If that changes, we'll call you."

We never get solicitors.

[Phentex]

13. I have a No Soliciting Unless You are Selling Girl Scout Cookies sign

It works pretty well. Didn't stop the JWs or some of the political groups recently.

[GentryDixon]

9. The Missionaries know not to come to my door.

I see them in the neighborhood & am cordial to the young men & women if I see them on the street, but they must have my house as a "do not stop". I've lived here for close to 40 years and was only visited in the early months, never after that.

[Duppers]

19. Same here. ;)

Word must spread: "That woman is an *atheist*!!"

Politely I've gotten the message across that I do not and CANNOT subscribe to any deity belief system.

[Baitball Blogger]

2. Lucky you.

I open my door a crack too because you never know who is on the other side. If you get someone who is looking to give you trouble, it's just not a good environment for the dogs. You have to protect them from other people's ill intentions. And it happens quite often around here.

Yesterday someone banged on my door so hard that it startled the hell out of all of us. At first I thought it was the postman who gave us a sharp rap to warn us that they left something at the door. I took my time to get to the door, hoping the dogs would calm down, but nope. Someone was still on the other side.

Turned out it was someone from outside the development who was frantically looking for his dog, that was picked up off the street. He had reason to believe that we were the ones that picked it up because he was tipped off on the color of the car. Turned out that it was my next door neighbor who had picked the loose dog and he came out to clear up the confusion.

At least this time around there was good reason for the confusion, but that easily makes eight times that people just assumed that we were dognappers. Racism? Some.

[Phentex]

8. weird...

I was be very annoyed if someone banged on the door. The door bell is bad enough. I would also be annoyed if someone thought I was dog-napping!

[Baitball Blogger]

15. It's all part of living in a red suburb.

Someone has to stick around long enough to write about it.

[tblue37]

4. Comparative mythology has been my hobby for decades. I know a lot

about the subject. I have two approaches to proselytizers.

1. I give them a reading list and say, "I won't discuss religion with anyone who knows so much less about it than I do. Go home and read these texts. Then you can come back and we can chat."

2. If I have time, I sit on my porch and talk endlessly with them, not letting them leave and thus destroying their schedule. They get dropped off in groups and go in pairs or threes to cover a neighborhood, and they need to finish in time for their pick up. Once they run into me on one of my chatty days, they are unable to bother anyone else--and they are stuck listening to my oh, so friendly lecture.

Hmmmm. I haven't had a proselytizing visitor for several years. I must be on some kind of list.

[Phentex]

10. Thinking about your last line...

I bet you're right!

I am an atheist but I understand that they gotta do what they gotta do. If they ask, I have learned to say I'm Catholic, and for some reason they go away.

[RKP5637]

5. Had two JW's ring the other day. Two elderly nice men. I asked them to leave, they did very

nicely. ... but I've had some religious folks that won't go. One stuck their foot in the door so I couldn't close it. I told them leave or the cops will be here. I was about ready to hit the alarm button. Assholes! They took off.

[Phentex]

11. I'm not usually detained...

They have asked questions from time to time but none have ever kept me at the door for very long.

[Goonch]

6. dog

[Phentex]

12. That would be a good sign to have!

said the atheist

[TEB]

14. They were protecting you

[Phentex]

17. Yep

they are very sweet dogs but look and sound ferocious.

[Eugene]

16. "Nice dog," a JW person remarked about our pit bull mix

without batting an eyelash. The dog had friendly intentions, but Jehovah Witnesses don't scare easily.

[csziggy]

20. The Mormons have been visiting my Mom for fifty years

I remember the first time they came by our house in the mid 1960s. Mom knew nothing about the LDS and since she is always willing to learn, invited them in, and had a nice long talk with them. They gave her a copy of the Book of Mormon (that I still have since she gave it to me after she read it) and a lot of their literature. I sat in since I was slightly interested.

Since then they stop by two or three times a year and talk to her. She doesn't invite them inside anymore but will stand on the front porch to talk. Over the last ten or fifteen years it has been a woman and her daughter that have visited. Mom has gotten to know a little about their families and has told them a very little about our family.

Now it is a diversion for Mom. The Presbyterian Church she joined after marrying Dad never sends anyone to visit, despite the fact that over the years She and Dad have donated tens of thousands of dollars to the church. All but one of the people Mom has known over her seventy years in that town have died - the one that is left has never been one of Mom's real friends. So Mom gets lonely and any visitor is a welcome break in her day.

[Stonepounder]

21. We tend to get Baptists around here.

But I remember a number of years ago when I was living in Tucson, AZ and some JW's came to my door. I was feeling particularly cranky that day, so I invited them and then tied them up in absolute knots.

I asked them, "Well, if the Bible is the absolute word of God, which creation story is correct?" They looked confused. Well, I said, in Genesis 1:
Day 1. Heaven and Earth, Day and Night.
Day 2. Oceans and Dry Land
Day 3. Grass, Herbs, and Fruit Trees
Day 4. Sun, Moon, Stars
Day 5. Fish, Fowl, Birds
Day 6. Animals, Man and Woman and gave them dominion over the earth.

They agreed, nodding their heads. And I said, but....
in Genesis 2, starting at 2 it is totally different.
- God creates Adam from the dust of the earth
- God creates the Garden of Eden
- God creates the 'Tree' that Adam should not eat, lest he die
- God creates all the animals and fowl and has Adam name them
- God puts Adam to sleep, grabs a rib, and creates Eve

Now, I ask, which one is correct: Earth, Plants, Animals, Man and Woman or
Adam,Garden,Tree,animals, Eve?

They never came back.