My late husband's kitty finally stopped

[CountAllVotes]

When my husband died in May, one of his two cats that he adopted was really unhinged.

Every night at the same time he'd start up with the loud meowing and crying, scratching on the walls and howling.

I thought it would never end.

About 2 weeks ago I heard him come into the bedroom at his normal time to start up the crying and he got on the foot of the bed and was laying there. He began to cry and it sounded like a baby crying.

He really let it all out that night.

He is now my best friend and after seven long months of this behavior, it has finally stopped.

I am so glad not only for me, but for him.

Poor old fellow!

Whoever said that animals don't feel is an idiot IMO.

I think this clinches it don't you?

Poor Mr. Andy. You are loved.

Everything is sure not all better now for me. I still feel like shit and I don't expect that feeling to go away anytime soon.

They just got through trying yet another fancy anti-depressant on me with the SSRI crap in it which I keep telling them I am allergic to. After 4 days of hell with a migraine headache, sweating, etc. I quit taking the crap.

Happy New Year 2023 to everyone.

It has got to be better than this past year has been for me!

[hlthe2b]

1. Heart-wrenching but the poor little one has figured out that, after all...

he is still loved. Good on you all.

[Srkdqltr]

2. I'm sorry you had to go through all you have. Virtual hug for you.

[CountAllVotes]

4. Thank you

I just got the DX that I have polyneuropathy due to systemic sclerosis. I now have searing pain in my feet that wakes me up every night without fail. And wow, it is painful! Yikes!

A hospital bed was ordered for me but after I found out what I'd be getting via Medicare will pay for, which I'd have to buy a new mattress for it very soon or immediately, new sheets, etc. I decided to hell with that idea.

Yesterday I went into town and bought myself a new SOFT mattress (full size) and hopefully I'll be able to get some sleep. I've been sleeping in my late husband's bed these days on two Thermarest pads that we used 30+ years ago when we used to go camping!

Unacceptable I decided and yes, I'll be writing this one off on the taxes for this financially horrific year.

I'm sure the cats will love the new bed as it is so soft! It will be delivered on Wednesday and the adjustable POS I bought last year will be hauled away !

As it stands now I wake up with all of them surrounding me and they are all getting along now too! What a huge relief for Mr. Andy especially.

I had one person (one of the ones I recently dumped) tell me to get rid of him and that they couldn't handle his behavior for such a long long time.

I waited Mr. Andy out.

Poor lonely kitty = Mr. Andy who used to bite.

The biting has stopped the day my husband died oddly.

I am grateful to have my cats as if it weren't for them I'd be alone alone alone.

I'm thinking alone is good these days given those SOB's I recently got rid of!

Thank you everyone here. It means a lot to me.

[wnylib]

3. .

For you and kitty.

[CountAllVotes]

5. Thank you

I wonder when the with ever stop!

I still and myself.

At least I don't scratch on the walls at 3:00 a.m.

I'm not there quite yet!

[wnylib]

7. Keep this in mind. Although the loss

will never go away, your ability to cope with it will improve. There will come a time when you can smile and even laugh again. The good times will become cherished memories. There will still be times when something unexpectedly pops up to remind you of the loss, but you will get through it better as time moves on. You will be able to counter the pain of loss with gratitude for the happy memories.

Let the healing happen.

[bsiebs]

8. Beautifully said, thank you.

[2naSalit]

6. ...

[sinkingfeeling]

9. My old guy, Andy, went wild after the death of his long-time companion, Gabby. He stopped eating,

stopped using his litter box, started biting and scratching me. Took him to the vet's and spent $1000 on all kinds of medical tests.
About 2 months later, it all stopped. He now won't leave my side.

They do have emotions.

[PatSeg]

10. Wow, I got teary-eyed reading that

Such profound grief.

[beaglelover]

11. We lost 1 of our 3 beagles a few months ago.

The youngest girl beagle still goes into the guest room where they sleep in their kennels and cries for her deceased sister. She usually does this in the late afternoon. Not sure why on that timing, but I feel so sorry for her to be missing her older sister so much.

[vlyons]

12. Yes mammals have emotions

Because the mammalian brain evolved a limbic system. Limbic system first evolved about 150 million years ago in small mammals.

[tavernier]

13. We leave the house in shifts to go to work in the mornings.

My daughter and SIL go first. A minute after they walk out the door, the cat, a pretty calico, wails loudly, real almost human-like cries. I come out of my bedroom and tell her to stop crying because she’s not alone. She calms down and goes into their bedroom. Half an hour later I have to leave for work, and my grandson who is home from college for the holidays tells me that as soon as I walk out the door he can hear her crying loudly and searching the house. I call her Caterine Hepburn because she is such a drama queen!

[CountAllVotes]

14. awww ...

I'd never heard a cat cry like a human being until that night.

It broke my heart hearing it.

I wonder if I'll ever get to where he is now?

Mr. Andy has a lesson for all of us is what I think.

The lesson is that love is a stronger emotion than grief.

[tavernier]

17. My Jim has been gone five years.

I talk to the spirits of several friends who passed years ago and we share memories and laugh and reminisce. No, I’m not particularly odd, I just can feel them close by so why not share a conversation? But… five, almost six years later, I can’t do that with my husband because I still dissolve into tears. He’s here, for sure, but I’ll tell him, sorry, can’t talk to you yet.
We all need to grieve within our own time table… even cats.

[CountAllVotes]

25. So true

We all have our own timetable.

I remember after my father died my mother was a wreck.

She had a lot of money all of a sudden and I'll never forget what she said.

"I know what I want and I cannot have it."

What she was referring to was my Dad, he was gone and no amount of money could solve her profound grief. They were married for 47 years.

I knew how she felt at the time as I took my father's death really hard as I was very close to him.

Grief is a word that means many different things is what I think.

In my case, it heart-wrenching pain and even some guilt; guilt about what I could have done differently over the years and even at the end.

Its a real bitch and I doubt I'll ever get over it for one reason: Two-thirds of my life were spent with this man. That is a long long time.

I knew I loved him but never realized that his death would affect me the way it has.

I can barely swallow now thanks to the MS. I'm living on glasses of milk and what ever I can get down.

I need to get a grip on myself. Mr. Andy has taught me that yes, this is possible!

Thank you for your kind words. Much appreciated.

[Rebl2]

15. We had a

female cat that showed no emotion when our other cat (a male) died. I thought she would search for him, but she didn’t seem to care. They weren’t litter mates and he was a couple years older and they never got along, so guess that’s why she didn’t seem to care. I was sad he passed. He was a beautiful Birman.

[CaptainTruth]

16. I'm so sorry for all you're going through.

Sending hugs...

[CountAllVotes]

29. The year cannot end fast enough for me

I just fell outside in the garage.

Looks like some earthquake damage and a lot of water from the heavy rains.

I have a cut on my face and I'm kind of sore but I think I am ok.

Let's say I hope I am ok! I figure out the damage tomorrow after my body realizes the trauma of the fall I took not long ago.

Go straight to hell 2022! FAST!

[3catwoman3]

18. Maybe Mr. Andy can be a source of comfort and calmness for you now...

...that he seems to be feeling somewhat better.

Wishing you strength and serenity.

[Habibi]

19. Caring and tight hugs coming to you.

It will take a while for all of you. May you come out the other end with love for your passed loved one and strength for the next chapter.

[Warpy]

20. My last kitty meowed at closed closet doors for YEARS

thinking the irascible old tomcat had gotten trapped in there. When she did this, she was inconsolable.

Cats grieve and they mourn deeply and for a long time.

It's why I don't have one now. It would outlive me and there is no one to take it. I can't stand the thought of a rescued cat grieving at the Humane Association, waiting to be rescued again.

For everyone out there who is thinking of getting a feline overlord: please consider adopting an adult cat. Yes, they're not as cute and goofy as kittens are, but kittenhood only lasts a few short weeks. An adult cat will have absorbed some human manners and is a lot easier to live with. They are also damned grateful to their rescuers.

[CountAllVotes]

24. I won't be adopting any more animals

I worry so much about what if.

What if I die?

What will happen to my cats?

My brother *cough* claims he'll take care of them (uh huh ....).

He cannot be trusted.

That said, I have found a place in Mendocino county that will come and get them if it comes down to it. They are a non-profit organization.

I hope it does not come to this.

Mr. Andy and his brother will be 10 years old soon; Missy the black cat will be seven.

I hope I outlive them, I really do!

I sorry to read about your situation and the closet. Good lord!

I agree about adopting an adult cat. I've had a few in my day that came along that I cared for. No regrets. At all.

[ballardgirl]

21. DNA and SSRI's

Sorry for your loss.

I know from personal experience that a certain percentage of the population has a genetic factor where SSRI's are not effective. As you have found, many have side effects that appear as allergic reactions. I found this out after trying to tell my doctor they were not right for me. I finally had my DNA tested and found I am a poor metabolizer of many commonly prescribed drugs, including SSRI's and opioids.

I always say that grief is not a disorder. I hope the new year brings you better days.

[CountAllVotes]

23. Thank you for that insight!

I really appreciate it.

They don't believe me and then they slip me another one.

Another allergic reaction.

This was one used for fibromyalgia patients called Salvilla.

None of them work.

The side effects appear no matter how small the dose.

I was only taking 12.5 mg. twice a day!

I guess they believe me now (I HOPE!).

This class of drugs is not for everyone, that's for sure!

[ballardgirl]

27. DNA Testing

If you can get a DNA test done, even through 23 and Me, you can take the raw data and drop it into software like Livewello. They list all of the issues with genotypes. I think there was a small fee, but not sure. The enzyme that metabolizes SSRI's is CYP2D6. If yours showed up as a poor metabolizer, bingo!

[CountAllVotes]

28. thanks!

That is some great info.!

[Chicagogrl1]

22. Oooohhhh poor baby!!

The biggest hugs to you & your kitty

[Maraya1969]

26. I left very fast after Hurricane Ivan and left my cat Lola. When I got back after about 5 days

when the electricity came back on she kept coming up to me to cuddle. Usually she would do it once or twice a day but then it was about 10 times a day for a few days. I felt so guilty because I took the dogs and left her. She probably thought everyone died.

She is fine now. Thank God. I is really hard watching a fur baby suffer.

I truly hope you feel better.

[I_UndergroundPanther]

31. Id feel awful if I left Othello

Behind. He's my baby. If he died I would want to kill myself.

Cats really need us as much as dogs do,just in different and some of the same ways. Cats are very emotional and attach deeply to thier pet parents.

Even when you think they dont care,they do. As for me my heart and soul is bound to Othello's heart he's my best friend,cat friend,cat child,and my family.

[CountAllVotes]

32. How did Othello like the cat blanket?

Just curious.

I have a few in the closet in the other room if I need a new one.

They go fast around here, believe me!

I hear you btw.

I hope neither of us go away before our beloved cats do! They really do need us!

Just an awful thought hanging over us isn't it?

Happy New Year 2023 to you Underground_Panther!

[I_UndergroundPanther]

35. He likes it. He put it in his cat nest.

His nest inside his cat tree a little box built into it.


Yeah I plan out all sorts of scenarios in my head regarding ways to keep him safe and with me. Very happy I have a cat sack he can ride in that I wear like a backwards backpack. He cant escape it. He can hide in it and nobody can pull it off of me.

Ptsd will do that sort of shit to you.

Before Biden won I was in a state of really bad anxiety. I was going nuts figuring out what I needed to do to be safe during fascism. And with fascists wanting to kill me because they hate transgender people.
I thought out scenarios of how I would keep Othello safe and by my side. Othello was the anchor that kept me out of the hospital. I knew I had to be here for him.

[CountAllVotes]

36. We are our own worst enemies

I am convinced of this!

I'm glad Othello likes the new blankie and has it tucked away for safe keeping.

You are such a fine example of a good kitty keeper UndergroundPanther!

I wish both of you and everyone else reading this a Happy New Year 2023!

Take care of yourself Panther.

I truly wish you the best in the coming year.

Take care!

CountAllVotes

[TomSlick]

30. I grieve for you and the wee beastie.

May you both find peace.

[Deuxcents]

33. ((( ❤️ ))) we all need each other. Hope the new year is kind to you

And all those you love 😻

[Better Days Ahoy]

34. I'm so sorry for your year

Sending warm thoughts and wishes to you and your cat kids for a better new year. We love our cats. They're a comfort and a deserving focus for our love and attention. Little angels in our house with lots of quirks that are well worth our effort.