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Sun Sep 20, 2020, 11:17 PM

Its not about me, complaining. Just trying to sort out where I am....78 next month.

The virus is a good part of it..... lost my housemate in July. Three of us bought the house in 1982...raised our kids in it and lived it as kind of a commune. There was the fun of our kids and their friends over the house until they became adults and moved out. The kids (and grandkids) live close so I see them every couple of weeks.

The remaining two of us still live in the house and we get along quite well.

The good thing is, money is not a problem. I ain't rich but there is a hundred or two left at the end of the month. And I have no serious health problems.

Several of my friends, we would take road trips every year.... been doing that since '98. We all felt it was a good idea to stay home this year (and maybe next year, too). I haven't seen any of them since Christmas. We talk and email and so forth. No other really close friends.

Weekends are particularly hard. No place to go, little to do. Pick weeds, get out the weed-wacker, assemble the garbage and recycling. Go to the casino just to kill a couple of hours.

I guess it was yesterday that it hit me hard... I was driving down 78 and I decided to play the tunes I had downloaded on the iPhone over the past years -- songs I enjoyed in past. The Who, The Seldom Scene, Stones and so forth. I used to play them on car cassette while driving to Maine or Massachusetts or Vermont. singing along at the top of my lungs, the freedom of the open road.

I started playing the songs and it hit me, I forgot some of the words to songs I knew every word of.

What happened to that guy?

I don't know if I will go to New England again. Not fun going by myself. I used to go with my kids and then friends.

This is what is going through my head the past few weeks.. I can't figure out how to get joy back into my life.

3 HD

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Reply Its not about me, complaining. Just trying to sort out where I am....78 next month. (Original post)
3Hotdogs Sep 2020 OP
Hoyt Sep 2020 #1
3Hotdogs Sep 2020 #2
PoindexterOglethorpe Sep 2020 #3
marybourg Sep 2020 #4
PoindexterOglethorpe Sep 2020 #5
LiberalLoner Sep 2020 #8
Grasswire2 Sep 2020 #6
KT2000 Sep 2020 #7
LiberalLoner Sep 2020 #9
LiberalLoner Sep 2020 #10
trof Sep 2020 #11
3Hotdogs Sep 2020 #12
trof Sep 2020 #13

Response to 3Hotdogs (Original post)

Sun Sep 20, 2020, 11:29 PM

1. Aging is tough in many ways. But, I'm still adapting and finding enjoyment

out of life. Ainít like back in my teens or twenties, but I appreciate the moments more.

I definitely get what you are saying

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Response to Hoyt (Reply #1)

Sun Sep 20, 2020, 11:32 PM

2. Also, it was about 5 years ago that I realized, I ain't chick bait anymore.

I am divorced and my 23 year, significant other died 6 years ago. I miss her.

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Response to 3Hotdogs (Original post)

Sun Sep 20, 2020, 11:56 PM

3. That sounds like a wonderful thing, that sort of commune.

I envy you in a way.

I'm a bit younger, just turned 72. In recent years I'd go to science fiction cons, four or five each year. It's a group of people, an affinity group so to speak, that are a fundamental part of my life. I have become pretty good friends with any number of well-known s-f authors, and even watched the 2017 solar eclipse with one of them. (When I brag and name that person to my s-f friends I get lots of envy and awe. You reading this probably won't have heard of this person, so no point in naming names.)

In March I took a cruise to Hawaii. It was a delayed 70th birthday present to myself, and I am so glad I took that cruise for several reasons. First off, it was giant fun. I loved the long days at sea. I loved the time in the Hawaiian Islands and the shore excursions I took. I loved the people I met on board, and I'm still in touch with a couple of them. We were nearly the last tourists to visit the islands.

I was supposed to get on Amtrak at the beginning of April to go to Seattle for one of my s-f things. That thing was cancelled before the cruise ended, so I cancelled trains, hotels, and airplanes. Alas. Maybe someday I will take that trip. I hope so.

At this point, in September, there are three other things I would have attended by now, all of which have been cancelled. One s-f thing that should have taken place in January, 2021, has already been put off to January, 2022. Smart move.

Like so many, I have not seen any family for a while. I live in Santa Fe, NM. My son lives in Fairfax, VA. He's a PhD student in astronomy at George Mason University. He did visit me last October. In normal times either I'd have flown out there to see him, or have bullied him into visiting me again. Neither one is going to happen any time soon. I also have family and lots of friends in the Kansas City area. In normal times I'd have seen them this past summer, and would probably visit for either Thanksgiving or Christmas. I had a brief conversation with my sister there about the possibility of my visiting for one of those, and we really thought that I probably shouldn't. Sigh. Even though I probably shouldn't make the trip.

And I don't have it as bad as those who can't see elderly parents in nursing homes, or who haven't seen grandchildren in months. I'm lucky in that I don't have grandchildren.

Eventually, a lot longer than most of us realize, this will finally be over. I'll be able to visit my son, or he'll come visit me. I'll go to Kansas City again. I'll resume my s-f conventions.

We all need to hang in there. We really do.

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Response to PoindexterOglethorpe (Reply #3)

Mon Sep 21, 2020, 12:12 AM

4. "We all need to hang in there "

That's it in a short sweet sentence.

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Response to marybourg (Reply #4)

Mon Sep 21, 2020, 12:35 AM

5. Thank you.

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Response to marybourg (Reply #4)

Mon Sep 21, 2020, 06:53 AM

8. +1

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Response to 3Hotdogs (Original post)

Mon Sep 21, 2020, 01:44 AM

6. If you're feeling that way, so are others in your vicinity.

Maybe you could find some community and joy in volunteering somewhere?

The library? The food bank?

Don't you think there are women your age who are lonely and out of sorts, too? (Or maybe by "chick" you mean a young one.)

Keep posting about this. Other people can likely relate and be encouraged.

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Response to 3Hotdogs (Original post)

Mon Sep 21, 2020, 01:52 AM

7. let me just say this -

you downloaded tunes onto your iPhone. Being adept at using all this ever-changing technology has simply taken over the space once held by the lyrics to your favorite songs. I just learned how to use my cell phone to make a call, and nothing else.

At present, joy is hard to come by but that is where we get creative - learn, access the joyful things on the internet, and always think of those who came before us and suffered and died for things we now take for granted. We just do not know what comes next.

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Response to 3Hotdogs (Original post)

Mon Sep 21, 2020, 06:56 AM

9. Joy is hard to come by these days and loneliness is crowding us all

Sometimes it helps to just sit in the backyard and watch the birds at the feeders.

Or do something with my hands, like cooking or art. Something creative.

When I keep my hands busy there is less time for my mind to dwell on sadness and anxiety.

Is there anything you can do that interests you and keeps your hands busy?

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Response to LiberalLoner (Reply #9)

Mon Sep 21, 2020, 07:03 AM

10. P.S. I always admired how Eisenhower liked paint by number kits

And my grandparents used to use a rock tumbler to make beautiful little smooth jewels from rocks they would find.

Iíve often thought I should get flat rocks and paint loving and encouraging messages on them for random people to find.

Some men get into wood carving, making such cool things out of wood.

Sometimes putting together a puzzle feels like meditation, so calming and soothing.

There is something about making things with our hands that is deeply healing and satisfying.

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Response to 3Hotdogs (Original post)

Tue Sep 22, 2020, 06:58 PM

11. Where y'at? Got room for two more?

I'm 79, Miz t. is 75.
She is 100% Cajun.
We both cook.

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Response to trof (Reply #11)

Tue Sep 22, 2020, 10:41 PM

12. We are in N.J. Little room left, however.

Lynn's daughter and family moved to the second floor, five years ago. They are buying the house from us, probably in spring. We will sell at 2/3 of appraised value and in return, get a grant of Life Estate.

If you don't know, that means we get to live here for as long as we live. J and R get to keep the house. That is important to them as they put $50k into renovating their apartment.

So I guess it will still be kind of the communal setup but with fewer people living here. If they have a 2nd kid, or later have other people move in, the third floor will again be occupied.

The house is 200 ft. from the direct line bus stop that goes to N.Y.C. So if/when the virus abates, I will be able to go to NYC for the senior fare of $6.00, round trip.

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Response to 3Hotdogs (Reply #12)

Thu Sep 24, 2020, 03:59 PM

13. sounds ideal.

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