How do I "do" a date? Years ago, when I was a 'ute, "Wanna go to a movie? club? Whatever?"

[3Hotdogs]

I'm goddam 79 years old. I like her and I have the feeling she likes me. I don't drink much. Supper, and then what? Its getting darker earlier so a walk in the park ain't gonna work.


What are some choices for asking her out for a date?

I've got my head tied up in a knot about the stuff I have been puzzling about over the past couple of weeks. Maybe better to just let the whole thing go -- forget about it.

[drray23]

1. maybe find some common interest you guys both have

going to a classical music concert, the opera (if you are in a town where all that is available), the theater, or whatever interesting local event might be happening, museums if its earlier during the day, etc..

[3Hotdogs]

20. There are two mid-range venues in our area. I have stayed out of them since Covid.

But it is New Jersey. We got beaches and boardwalk.

[Anon-C]

2. What's a 'ute'?

[elleng]

4. 'YOUTH.'

See My Cousin Vinny!

[LakeArenal]

3. Ask her to lunch.

[Journeyman]

5. If one is open nearby, take her to an art museum, or some other taste of culture . . .

spend the afternoon wandering through the halls, sipping coffee or a soft drink in the gardens, then take in a nice dinner somewhere.

For me, a far better way to pass the time than sitting in a darkened movie theater or shouting at each other in a club, as you'll be able to quietly converse throughout the experience as you tumble upon hidden delights in the collections. It's also in the daytime, which is important when you get to be our ages, and the day will have a decided end (of one sort or another), after a day of wandering and an evening's repast.

[3Hotdogs]

21. There are two mid-sized museums within a 45 minute drive.

Museums are not too threatening proposals.

[Enter stage left]

6. Farmers market...they always have something interesting.

[Bayard]

7. Covid has changed things

First thing I'd do--ask if she's been vaccinated before making further plans. Then stick to the outdoors--al fresco dining--maybe lunch on Sat. or Sun? Then there's time for a walk in the park, beach, wherever, before dark.

Don't give up! Life is too short.

[3Hotdogs]

22. Its northern New Jersey. We are 90% adult vaccinated. But correct,

better to ask.

[viva la]

8. Start with something where you can't talk much

Like a film or play. Then go for a late supper... you can talk about what you saw, and it will make convo so easy.

[FM123]

9. Going to a bookstore together would be nice.....

[jmbar2]

10. Invite her to take a short class with you.

Some examples from my region (coastal Oregon)
- identifying sea creatures in tide pools
- How to crab
- Whale watching
- How to play chess
- Short presentations by local symphony orchestra before concerts - identifying instruments, eras of classical music, etc.


Also, outdoor festivals, fairs, events.

[3Hotdogs]

23. Yeah, there are classes on stuff in the Great Swamp and Audubon's

beginning birdwatching.

[No Vested Interest]

13. Lunch or Brunch is always welcome, with a little window shopping if you're both

up for a little more conversation.
Will you call her or ask her out in person?
Let her talk a little, then tell her some about yourself - not too heavy on the illness stuff.

Better to give it a try, than to wish you had.

[3Hotdogs]

24. I will ask her in person.

[Skittles]

14. do some streaming TV

ask her to pick a movie!

don't "let it go" - just get to know her better and take it from there!

[d_r]

18. Netflix and chill

[left-of-center2012]

15. Bingo ?

[Tomconroy]

16. I like the lunch idea. I do it a couple of times a week with

my wife. They are pretty much 'dates'. I would think you would want to sit around and chat.

[Sherman A1]

17. Perhaps

Ask her and see where that leads?

Probably better than what you might find on an internet discussion board……

[3Hotdogs]

25. I have gotten some extraordinarily insightful responses to prior questions

on D.U. Answers I never would have figured out.

Yes, there are aways a couple of quip/joke responses and that's ok. But D.U. PEOPLE REALLY DO CARE. Also we can ask questions that we would be embarrassed/hesitant to ask of people we are close to.

[Sherman A1]

27. What ever works for you

[wackadoo wabbit]

19. First, don't "forget about it"!

Life is short. It's time for your second act. Carpe diem!

OK, now that that's taken care of, what are your interests? Do you know what hers are? If you can find the Venn diagram intersection of interests, there's your date!

If that doesn't work, a meal is always good. if you want to do something afterwards, ask her back to your place for an aperitif or cup of coffee.

By the way, there's nothing wrong with a nighttime walk in the park (as long as it's not too cold). Just remember to bring headlamps/flashlights.

I've seen other posters saying that you should do something that doesn't require too much conversation. I completely disagree. You want to get to know her better to make sure she's compatible.

My husband has been dead for long enough that I will eventually need to be where you are. If it's any consolation, the thought of that fills me with more terror than you have confusion.

Here's to second acts!

[3Hotdogs]

26. And I wish a fulfilling second act for you.

[LizBeth]

28. 79 and you were asking how to sexually please a woman the other day? Relax. The least we get at 79

is being able to sit back and relax a little.

[AwakeAtLast]

29. Nothing better for me than a long conversation

Over good coffee and something to nosh on with it. So maybe find a good dessert place with good coffee? Decaf at night, of course!

Good luck!

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

30. Go for lunch.

What's nice about lunch is that you can end things easily if you decide it's just not working. But if it is, it can be extended to dinner, if you'd like.

My first date with the man I later married was lunch. Which turned into dinner. It was nice.

If you are interested, make the move. I'm 73, and a couple of years ago had a somewhat date for the first time since before I married my now ex. After two times, I realized we just didn't have enough in common, and he apparently concluded the same thing, because he never called me again. Which is what I wanted. For me, personally, I realize I really am not interested in a new relationship. But if you are, go for it. Do. Go for it.