I got you beat, phone-wise.
This is what I use:
http://www.amazon.com/Kyocera-Silver-Virgin-Mobile-phone/dp/B001651NHW
It's at least 10 years old, service runs me $80 - per *year*. I carry a few spare batteries and a car charger, so it'll run pretty much forever. I don't turn it on unless *I* want to use it, though.
While looking for an image, I was rather surprised to see a new (or at least unused) one being sold on Amazon - it's an oldie but a goodie!
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