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lambchopp59

(2,809 posts)
Sun Mar 11, 2018, 12:00 AM Mar 2018

News from the alternate timeline I briefly visited today:

As I dreamed during my noontime quick nap today, the transporter officer taking me to dreamland found my degraded pattern in the buffer lying dormant for 15 months now. She tried and tried to beam me back to the alternate universe where the only Donald Trump news on my feed was about some idiotic rehash of "lock her up" in response to a Fox story framing President H. Clinton deleting a spam email about the Hannity-concocted democratic election fund fraud as circular proof of imaginary guilt on President Clinton's part.
Yet as she valiantly attempted to flash me back onto the alternate split-off earth timeline created November 11th 2016, the day the media broke the story of Trump's Russian collusive interference in our voting system disqualifying Donald as a viable candidate, invalidating Trump's electoral college win as treasonous and Hillary accepting Donald's concession in trade for immunity from prosecution,
I was only able to visit the unidentified starship lounge in partially molecular disassociated form, but aware enough to read a few headlines from the last 15 months! I only vaguely recall some of them, as my coalescing vision was still shimmering. The ones I recall:
"Republican congressional majority still blocking ClintonCare card distribution efforts."
"Nazi racist protesters angry at Clinton's new "Welcome freedom-seeking immigrants" program clashed in Charlottesville, Va today caused one protester attempting a vehicular ram into the anti-racism vigil side, running a stop sign T-boned another vehicle, nearly missing several pedestrians. Only a few minor injuries resulted, but driver James Alex Fields Jr awaits arraignment in county jail"
"Republicans today again successfully blocked the democratic student debt reduction plan. Senator Sanders plans to push his bill to the back burner for 9 more months, awaiting post midterm expected majority switch"
"The new, "New Inshallah" middle eastern coalition successes towards peacefully disarm ISIL radicals praised by nearly all U.S. senators today. Donald Trump tweeted from Mar-a Lago "Despite the constant Hillary-praising press covfefe" gaffed response brings outrageous laughter worldwide as no follow up clarification came from Trump all day, but insiders speculate his caregiver intercepted this as another attempt to stir anti-Islamic outragefrom his Twitter followers. Donald may have been well medicated as followers await his next insult"
"Democrats bring enough Republicans to win Wage Rights Bill 112, millions of minimum wage earners shout of glee heard worldwide"
"Prisoner college programs expected to possibly decrease crime recidivism by up to 60 percent, according to Psychology Today article" "Senator Mitch McConnell spouts skeptical retort to the defeat of his "Let them Rot there" bill."
"New automatic and semi-automatic weapon registration, licensure and locking cabinet requirements discovered to be far easier than expected by NRA protestors with only a few holdouts still refusing to cooperate. New laws suspected to be effective in warding off planned massacre by angry, disgruntled student Nikolas Cruz in Broward County florida." Media interview with Cruz reveals the attempt to break into the gun store that night to obtain illegal firearms and subsequent arrest boosts national gun locker participation gave him "time to think about what a horrible thing he had planned". Cruz remains in therapeutic center awaiting breaking and entering sentencing.
"Peace talk roundtable continues, lead by Secretary of State Pelosi, nearly reaching the eastern coalition accord to reduce nuclear arsenals worldwide"
"MexiCali/Calexico fence-rammers finally win, becoming one city under two national regimes as rebuilding costs considered wasteful compared to any usefulness, bringing U.S. and Mexico closer to open border agreement. Jerry Brown and Enrique Peña Nieto shook hands at the former fence site, bringing shouts of glee from both sides of the "Ciudad Puerta Nueva".
"All world powers join in signing new stiffer Paris Accord carbon reduction mandates, much to the chagrin of the Koch empire" "Charles and David huff about the 1 cent cost increase in their paper towels having to reach consumer's to keep their profits viable, causes backlash in Koch product consumer and national contract losses. No one will miss the "Brawny" man for a cleaner world"
"Women's wage equalization bill passed with nearly unanimous support today".
That's all I can remember through the wavering haze, DUer's, unfortunately just as I began to coalesce into the real reality we are all supposed to be living in, the new, cleaner, hopeful world, several of the gelpack circuit conduits blew as Donald Trump tweeted the word "FAKE" back at the fake reality here. The transport operator quickly apologized as I fizzled back awake again to the Trumpian/Rethuglican mess. The gelpacks just couldn't handle the divergent reality U.S.A. B.S. overload I suppose, and I awoke:
disgusted and lost appetite for the lunch I had placed in the microwave the reality timeline correction crew found me through.
But remembering the transporter operator shouting at me: We'll try again to bring you all back soon as we repair..." and then she faded away.

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