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Sun Dec 16, 2018, 11:05 PM

Stop me if you've heard this one

Donald Trump, Oprah Winfrey, Barack Obama and a young school girl are on a flight when disaster strikes the plane and all occupants must parachute to safety, but there are only three parachutes. Oprah Winfrey says "I'm the richest woman in the world", grabs a pack and bails. "I had the greatest electoral college victory ever" spits Trump, grabs another pack and follows Oprah. Barack Obama turns to the school child and says "You are the future, our country's best hope" and begins to outfit the child with a pack, when the girl states "actually there's a future for you, too. Mr Trump jumped with my book bag".

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Arrow 16 replies Author Time Post
Reply Stop me if you've heard this one (Original post)
lambchopp59 Dec 2018 OP
spooky3 Dec 2018 #1
Doreen Dec 2018 #2
efhmc Dec 2018 #3
StarryNite Dec 2018 #4
rickyhall Dec 2018 #5
Honeycombe8 Dec 2018 #6
3catwoman3 Dec 2018 #7
PatrickforO Dec 2018 #8
rusty quoin Dec 2018 #9
grantcart Dec 2018 #11
Jim Lane Dec 2018 #14
lambchopp59 Dec 2018 #15
hermetic Dec 2018 #10
Different Drummer Dec 2018 #12
Jim Lane Dec 2018 #13
lambchopp59 Dec 2018 #16

Response to lambchopp59 (Original post)

Sun Dec 16, 2018, 11:07 PM

1. thanks for the laugh! nt

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Response to lambchopp59 (Original post)

Sun Dec 16, 2018, 11:18 PM

2. Funny

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Response to lambchopp59 (Original post)

Sun Dec 16, 2018, 11:49 PM

3. Very clever.

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Response to lambchopp59 (Original post)

Sun Dec 16, 2018, 11:58 PM

4. Good one!

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Response to lambchopp59 (Original post)

Mon Dec 17, 2018, 12:11 AM

5. Made day/night!

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Response to lambchopp59 (Original post)

Mon Dec 17, 2018, 12:48 AM

6. Good one. (But Oprah wouldn't do that.) nt

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Response to lambchopp59 (Original post)

Mon Dec 17, 2018, 12:52 AM

7. "Tis a consummation...

...devoutly to be wished.

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Response to lambchopp59 (Original post)

Mon Dec 17, 2018, 01:19 AM

8. Wonderful!

That made my night.

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Response to lambchopp59 (Original post)

Mon Dec 17, 2018, 02:11 AM

9. I don't get it. Why would Oprah let a school age girl die? She's not bad.

 

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Response to rusty quoin (Reply #9)

Mon Dec 17, 2018, 12:19 PM

11. +1

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Response to rusty quoin (Reply #9)

Mon Dec 17, 2018, 02:09 PM

14. I agree.

 

When I heard the joke (see #13), the pilot came back into the passenger cabin. He said that his survival was important so that he could help in the investigation of the mishap, so he took the first parachute. The version with Oprah maligns her and doesn't account for the presence of the pilot.

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Response to rusty quoin (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 18, 2018, 10:13 AM

15. Oprah only utilized as a card in the Trump's greed deck, a ruse

at the heat of the moment for the Donald to hastily join, on top of Trump's non-recognition of the "book bag". No offense meant towards Oprah, wonderful person I'd love to meet and have coffee with, wouldn't just about anyone? I re-iterated the joke with characters the military.com site had. Joke would work just as well with say, Bill Gates.
I think Oprah would be big enough to have a good belly laugh even at a bit of her expense.

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Response to lambchopp59 (Original post)

Mon Dec 17, 2018, 10:41 AM

10. Heh heh heh

I liked that.

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Response to lambchopp59 (Original post)

Mon Dec 17, 2018, 12:21 PM

12. Good one! Too bad it's not based on actual events. n/t

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Response to lambchopp59 (Original post)

Mon Dec 17, 2018, 02:00 PM

13. I heard it years ago with Henry Kissinger in the starring role.

 

He says, "My survival is essential to guiding U.S. foreign policy and achieving peace in the Middle East. Besides that, I am, of course, the smartest man in the world." Out he goes. The Pope (not Obama) then says to the hippie (not a school girl) that the younger person should take the last parachute, to which the hippie replies, "Hey, Padre, that's real cool of you, but, like, not to worry, y'know? The smartest man in the world just jumped out of the airplane with my backpack on."

It would be interesting to set up a self-esteem contest between Kissinger and Trump.

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Response to lambchopp59 (Original post)

Tue Dec 18, 2018, 10:23 AM

16. No offense meant towards Oprah

Oprah only utilized as a card in the Trump's greed deck, a ruse at the heat of the moment for the Donald to hastily join, on top of Trump's non-recognition of the "book bag". No offense meant towards Oprah, wonderful person I'd love to meet and have coffee with, wouldn't just about anyone? I re-iterated the joke with characters the military.com site had. Joke would work just as well with say, Bill Gates.
I think Oprah would be big enough to have a good belly laugh even at a bit of her expense, so would Bill.

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