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Thu Nov 19, 2020, 01:31 PM

And again...

hawk shadow

blue jays go silent

suddenly


1 replies, 540 views

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Reply And again... (Original post)
Harker Nov 2020 OP
CaliforniaPeggy Nov 2020 #1

Response to Harker (Original post)

Thu Nov 19, 2020, 02:21 PM

1. This is good!

I took the liberty of rearranging it a bit. See what you think. My thoughts are below.


hawk shadow

suddenly

blue jays go silent




I rearranged it so it would flow more easily. And I like the ambiguity of putting suddenly in the middle.

Your poem is full of vivid images and is strong!






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