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Wed Mar 4, 2020, 12:12 AM

Would love help with a title for this!

Any suggestions?
Again, itís written as song lyrics, so there is repetition, but I may keep it this way to use as a stand-alone piece of poetry. Thoughts on that would also be appreciated! 💕🎶

Just what is your problem now
What do you want from me
Youíre blaming me for all your woes
Full of rage and jealousy

What the hell is going on
And who the hell are you
Point that finger in my face
Four more point back at you

Iím not special, but certainly I try
Iím a sinner. Iím vain and sometimes lie
Iím not perfect, though I try to be
Iím not God. Donít even play Him on TV

What exactly is your issue
That you spew names and insults
Do you think that Iím that mighty
Is this some new crazy kind of cult

You think that Iíve got super powers
Responsible for centuries of wars
You even blame me for the weather.
Tell me, did I kill the dinosaurs?

Iím not special, but certainly I try
Iím not perfect. I even curse and cry
Iím no angel, though I try to be
Iím not God. Donít even play Him on TV

So what is your malfunction
What the hell did I do now
To make you think that your mistakes
Are all my fault somehow

Iím not that special, hard as I may try
Iím a sinner, I envy and I lie
Nobodyís perfect, your exampleís plain to see
Iím not God. Donít even play Him on TV.

Damn it all to hell and back
Have mercy, glory be
I try to walk a narrow path
But Iím not God.
Good Lord!
Donít even play Him on TV!

26 replies, 3782 views

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Arrow 26 replies Author Time Post
Reply Would love help with a title for this! (Original post)
Tucker08087 Mar 2020 OP
3catwoman3 Mar 2020 #1
Tucker08087 Mar 2020 #5
Tucker08087 Mar 2020 #11
3catwoman3 Mar 2020 #12
Tucker08087 Mar 2020 #13
Wounded Bear Mar 2020 #2
Tucker08087 Mar 2020 #6
FM123 Mar 2020 #3
Tucker08087 Mar 2020 #7
FM123 Mar 2020 #8
Tucker08087 Mar 2020 #10
lunasun Mar 2020 #4
Tucker08087 Mar 2020 #9
Tucker08087 Mar 2020 #14
lunasun Mar 2020 #15
Tucker08087 Mar 2020 #16
Tucker08087 Mar 2020 #17
lunasun Mar 2020 #19
Tucker08087 Mar 2020 #18
Tucker08087 Mar 2020 #20
Name removed Apr 2020 #21
Tucker08087 Apr 2020 #22
nilesobek Apr 2020 #23
Star-Thrower Aug 2020 #24
islandbrew Aug 2020 #25
Tucker08087 Aug 2020 #26

Response to Tucker08087 (Original post)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 12:18 AM

1. I don't know who your intended audience is, and I...

...have only read this once so far, but the repeated line "Don't even play Him on TV" catches my attention. Might be a worthy title.

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Response to 3catwoman3 (Reply #1)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 12:47 AM

5. Thank you!

Was considering it! Itís usually either a group of words that catch the audienceís attention or a theme/idea that most people get from the piece.
Very helpful!

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Response to 3catwoman3 (Reply #1)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 01:20 AM

11. Also,

The band I write for is heavy metal (actually nu metal, low-tuned guitars, not as wild as heavy metal), but my writing tends to lean toward country. Iím assuming this will end up in the country pile. They donít want to lose me (plus they are very nice people) so for every 5 they do, they let me do one however I want, and they do background vocals and play the instruments. This one will most likely fall into that category.

Several that Iíve written and posted here, still bring me to tears when I sing them. If I post my bare vocal track, youíll see Iím not a strong singer, I often sound like a chipmunk 🐿 and youíll probably be able to tell where Iím holding back emotions because my pipes close up, so Iím off pitch or not as strong. And pretty much all my beginning are weak because I get nervous without music.

Probably more info than you wanted or needed! 💕

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Response to Tucker08087 (Reply #11)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 02:07 AM

12. Well, I am not a singer, although I like to sing when no one...

...is listening - not much volume, and limited range, but I can stay in tune. Anything an octave above middle C is too high, and anything below E-F below middle C is too low.

I know without a doubt that vocal cords and tear ducts cannot function at the same time. The latter definitely inhibits the former. I canít even talk when I cry, let alone sing.

Can you post a link to some of your work?

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Response to 3catwoman3 (Reply #12)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 07:14 AM

13. I'll try.

Iíll see if I can figure out how to do that.

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Response to Tucker08087 (Original post)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 12:18 AM

2. Tough to name someone else's work, but...

Maybe "I'm Just Me"

I kind of like the "I'm Not God" meme, but sounds a bit pretentious, maybe.

Perhaps "Just a Sinner On the Path"

Hope that sparks some thoughts for you.

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Response to Wounded Bear (Reply #2)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 12:49 AM

6. Good ideas!

I was afraid Iím Not God might either offend people or make it appear, by its title, that itís a religious piece, and then they might be offended.
Your other ideas are great! Overall theme of the piece without giving too much away!
Thank you!

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Response to Tucker08087 (Original post)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 12:19 AM

3. Great song!

Possible title: I'm not Him

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Response to FM123 (Reply #3)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 12:53 AM

7. Thank you!

OOh! I like that! Youíd have to learn which ďhimĒ the title refers to, so nobody would accidentally think they have been tricked into reading a religious piece.
Great idea!

Canít wait to meet with some musicians to lay down some musical tracks. I generally like my last piece best. That would be this one, (at least for one night) but I think it will remain in my top 5 for quite some time!
Glad you liked it, and thatís for the idea!

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Response to Tucker08087 (Reply #7)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 01:01 AM

8. Don't forget to post a video of the song once you finish laying down the tracks

can't wait to hear it!

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Response to FM123 (Reply #8)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 01:10 AM

10. I will!

It may be a while. I do the songs much faster than the musicians do their tracks. I think they told me Iíve submitted 40! And theyíre working on the 4th! I did just vocal tracks for 6 or 7 others. They will sound quite different, Iím sure.

Thereís one on the forum called Listen that is about sexual assault. Itís like my #MeToo song. Itís very monotone in parts because I wanted my voice to express shock but the instruments to show anger, so I expect it to sound very different.
Another, Pass the Bottle, the band also says is monotone. Maybe it is. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I donít have a powerful voice, but people tell me it is expressive. Iím hoping the music will also add further emotion to that one, as well.

Thanks again! I love getting feedback! The guys are work with are headbangers, so we have very polite creative differences. Itís nice to hear from others. I wonít hear from the band until tomorrow.

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Response to Tucker08087 (Original post)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 12:29 AM

4. I don't know but this is my favorite verse

You think that Iíve got super powers
Responsible for centuries of wars
You even blame me for the weather.
Tell me, did I kill the dinosaurs?


I sort of like the previously mentioned
Donít even play him on TV
Also
Nobodyís perfect your exampleís plain to see

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Response to lunasun (Reply #4)

Wed Mar 4, 2020, 01:03 AM

9. Thank you!

I am kind of partial to that stanza myself!
I also like the ending...

But Iím not God.
Good Lord!
Donít even play Him on TV!


I want to kind of speak, with exaggeration, ďGood Lord!Ē

In the chorus, I tried to change whatever came after ďIím not perfect, but certainly I tryĒ or whatever variation I used, and I really struggled because I wanted to write ďI drink and I get highĒ just because itís different, but I actually donít get high and my mom (whoís about 80) likes to listen to my songs, and I couldnít do it to her! 💕

Thanks so much for the feedback! I have other song lyrics that I recently posted if interested. I turn off from every form of media and write something every night. It keeps me sane!

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Response to lunasun (Reply #4)

Mon Mar 16, 2020, 10:05 PM

14. I wanted one of the refrains to say...

Iím not perfect
I drink and I get high

But my poor mom would have had a coronary, and I honestly donít get high, though it has been recommended to deal with the nausea of chemo. I may try it for that reason, but truly I just liked the flow and rhythm of it.

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Response to Tucker08087 (Reply #14)

Mon Mar 16, 2020, 10:23 PM

15. You could change from curse and cry?


Iím not special, but certainly I try
Iím not perfect. I drink and I get high

? Or add another one

M.j helped a friend of mind through chemo . If there is medical marijuana in your area they could help you find the right strain
It helped my friend with nausea and appetite
Once healed never used again
Let mom know itís medicine now not just stoners

Did you decide on a title yet?

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Response to lunasun (Reply #15)

Mon Mar 16, 2020, 10:43 PM

16. My doctor is in Philly and did prescribe it.

New Jersey didnít know how to fill it. It really did help in the hospital.

I actually did not decide on a name yet. We are still working on the musical arrangement for the instruments, and often a line stands out to become the title. I gave them lyrics the day before that are more comparable to their metal genre, so they are working on that in the studio. It includes a bit of cursing, itís snarking and even mean, so I didnít share it here! Some topic, for the most part, though. They agree to do one my way for about every 4 or 5 that I write for them, so I try to be patient. I was considering ďNot Even on TV,Ē but I wrote one about addiction where the chorus repeats ďI am not your saviorĒ so originally I named it ďSavior.Ē We changed it to ďClose the CurtainĒ because one stanza says: Life isnít certain/ Iím not that person /I closed the curtain/ Go save yourself.Ē It was a switch of emotion in the song, and stuck with listeners, so we changed the title. When I publish poetry, I rarely do titles, unless the publisher insists. Itís just not my thing. But songs need them.

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Response to Tucker08087 (Reply #16)

Mon Mar 16, 2020, 10:45 PM

17. I plan to do more writing while self-quarantined.

I once played keyboard, so I think Iíll try to relearn or take YouTube lessons. Might as well get through this as a new and improved me. 🎹🥰

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Response to Tucker08087 (Reply #17)

Mon Mar 16, 2020, 10:54 PM

19. ++Sometimes when people are cooped up it clears the air of other distractions and makes

room for other things .. like creativity
Open spaces appear

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Response to lunasun (Reply #15)

Mon Mar 16, 2020, 10:49 PM

18. I like it.

I curse and I get high does just flow off the tongue. My mom lives with me and enjoys hearing me mess with the songs and then sing them. I tape them for her to hear when I lay down the vocals. Maybe Iíll just tell her my thoughts on it and see if she gets ďfunnyĒ about it. She may understand the creative aspect. Thanks for the input!

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Response to Tucker08087 (Reply #18)

Thu Mar 26, 2020, 03:22 PM

20. How about simply...

TV?
Or Iím not God?
I donít want to give away the cow.

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Response to Tucker08087 (Original post)


Response to Name removed (Reply #21)

Mon Apr 6, 2020, 07:53 AM

22. Lol!

😂🤣😂👍 That was good!
Thanks! Iím glad you read it. I may have figured out a way to send it in musical form, but everyone is isolating, so there would be no music. Iíll hide in the garage and see how bad it sounds. 😬

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Response to Tucker08087 (Original post)

Tue Apr 28, 2020, 08:49 PM

23. My suggestion:"It's not me, its you."

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Response to Tucker08087 (Original post)

Sat Aug 1, 2020, 08:08 PM

24. I kinda like the title of

What the Hell?

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Response to Tucker08087 (Original post)

Fri Aug 21, 2020, 08:06 PM

25. Maybe "Can I Help You?"

I'm liking it, my friend!

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Response to islandbrew (Reply #25)

Sun Aug 23, 2020, 07:16 AM

26. Almost like a response to "a Karen?"

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