Thu May 28, 2020, 09:25 PM
Tucker08087 (586 posts)
Drowning in Grief
? Maybe as a title?
Very personal and I think it’s pretty. I live on the coast, so I find I often use salt water imagery. Lying in our bed alone Your touch- Your touch too far to reach Memories of we Wash over me Like waves rolling on the beach First they’re lapping at my edges Then I’m crashing to the ground The swirling tides of yesterday Left me- Left me almost drowned And I was falling Twisting and tumbling in the surf Couldn’t find the place between heaven Between heaven And the earth The darkness of pain was suffocating Looking up and searching for the light Almost didn’t care If I ran out of air I’d lost I’d lost the will to fight The tears, they left me breathless Like the rolling crashing of the waves Clinging to some picture perfect fantasy Of more idyllic days And I was falling Twisting and crashing through the surf Couldn’t find the place between heaven Between heaven And the earth The tide, you know It ebbs and flows But never looks for fault Washes away The pain of yesterday But leaves Leaves the taste of salt And the rippled sea of life Even after all these years Baptizes me With seasoned memories Tasting vaguely of my tears And I was falling Tumbling and crashing through the surf Couldn’t find the place between heaven Between heaven And the earth
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8 replies, 1851 views
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Author | Time | Post |
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Tucker08087 | May 2020 | OP |
42bambi | May 2020 | #1 | |
Tucker08087 | May 2020 | #4 | |
SaveOurDemocracy | May 2020 | #2 | |
Tucker08087 | May 2020 | #3 | |
SaveOurDemocracy | May 2020 | #5 | |
SaveOurDemocracy | May 2020 | #6 | |
Blue Montana | Jul 2020 | #7 | |
Tucker08087 | Jul 2020 | #8 |
Response to Tucker08087 (Original post)
Thu May 28, 2020, 09:31 PM
42bambi (1,753 posts)
1. From deep within you have a place you share with us ... nice.
Response to 42bambi (Reply #1)
Thu May 28, 2020, 10:23 PM
Tucker08087 (586 posts)
4. Thank you.
Yes, this one is raw. It’s definitely coming from deep within my soul.
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Response to Tucker08087 (Original post)
Thu May 28, 2020, 09:59 PM
SaveOurDemocracy (4,249 posts)
2. I think this is very beautiful and evocative. The imagery and emotion captivated me.
'Memories of We' could be a nice title, a little more subtle than 'Drowning in Grief', which is seen and felt throughout the poem. Only you know what it should be named.
Thank you for sharing with us. Peace and love to you. |
Response to SaveOurDemocracy (Reply #2)
Thu May 28, 2020, 10:19 PM
Tucker08087 (586 posts)
3. Thank you for reading!
I think you’re right. I’ll try to find a more subtle title.
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Response to Tucker08087 (Reply #3)
Thu May 28, 2020, 10:36 PM
SaveOurDemocracy (4,249 posts)
5. It was my pleasure, though bittersweet.
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Response to Tucker08087 (Original post)
Thu May 28, 2020, 10:37 PM
SaveOurDemocracy (4,249 posts)
6. K&R
Response to Tucker08087 (Original post)
Wed Jul 1, 2020, 03:55 PM
Blue Montana (13 posts)
7. Thank you for sharing your feelings and your art...
That's some fine word-smithing. I truly appreciate your honest approach and your flow is very easy to follow. Thank you very much for sharing your fine artwork. It was a pleasure.
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Response to Blue Montana (Reply #7)
Thu Jul 16, 2020, 05:20 AM
Tucker08087 (586 posts)
8. Thank you so much!
I truly appreciate a small audience of thoughtful, intelligent critics.
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