Lacrosse teams trade sticks for lightsabers

[TexasTowelie]

Some super sick LAX bros totally shred the field while facing off with some sick new sticks that use cyber crystals to make them totally radical. (Smack Attackit | The Unprecedented Times)


The Colorado State club lacrosse teams have seen a massive increase in walk-on players this season. You might be wondering why, especially after the COVID-19 polyamorous halted all in-person activity.

Is it because the men’s and women’s teams are number one in the country and can recruit purely on reputation? Absolutely not, because that’s not true. It’s because the Men’s and Women’s Collegiate Lacrosse Associations have made massive changes to equipment regulations in an effort to appeal to wider demographics to save the dying sport.

In an effort to save the sport from fading into irrelevance, the league has given players a new option for their weapon of choice on the field. While a midfield player is used to grabbing their 30-40-inch stick, they can now choose a 3-foot long lightsaber. For goalies, the double-bladed lightsaber made famous by Darth Maul will take the place of the traditional goalie stick.

The CLA has also offered a variety of color options so each university can pick ones that best align with their school spirit.

Read more: https://collegian.com/2021/04/category-sports-lacrosse-teams-trade-sticks-for-lightsabers/

This is a satire for April Fools’ Day. Real names and the events surrounding them may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read the editor’s notes are subject to being offended.
The Unprecedented Times reporter Taylor Skywalker can be reached at [e-mail] or on Twitter @TayTayPau.