So this angel comes to God and demands a vacation...

[Vinnie From Indy]

The angel says, "I have been working my ass off around here for a couple hundred years and I need a vacation!"

God looks down at the angel and says, "I have been watching you and I have seen how hard you have worked. You do deserve a vacation! You can go anywhere in the universe except EARTH!"

"Why can't I go to Earth?" asks the angel.

God sits back on his throne and looks a bit uncomfortable and then offers "Well, I went there about two thousand years ago and knocked up some Jewish girl and they haven't stopped talking about it since!"

Cheers!

[Skittles]

1. you got guts, Vinnie

[hrmjustin]

2. This Christian loves this joke!!!

[rug]

3. An atheist was taking a walk through deep woods, admiring all the fruit of evolution.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look and saw a 7-foot grizzly charging toward him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closer. He ran even faster, so scared that tears were coming to his eyes. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer.

His heart was pumping frantically and his muscles burned as he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell to the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear, right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the atheist cried out "Oh my God!"

Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
Even the river stopped moving.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky, "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light. "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the bear a Christian?"

"Very well," said the voice.

The light went out.
The river ran again.
The sounds of the forest returned.

And then the bear dropped his right paw...brought both paws together...bowed his head and spoke:

"Lord, for this food, which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful..

[hrmjustin]

4. LMFAO!

[LostOne4Ever]

5. That is a good one! (nt)

[LostOne4Ever]

6. Thats great!

Did you hear the one about the 3 engineers debating the nature of god?

A mechanical, electrical, and civil where all at a party discussing the nature of god.

The mechanical engineer said, "God must be a mechanical engineer, just look at the muscles and how they act like pulleys and levers that drive the body. No doubt about it God is an mechanical engineer."

The electrical engineer says that "No, God has to be an electrical engineer! if you look at the circuitry of the body, how the millions of nerve cells transmit signals from one part to another, well, it is obvious that God must be an electrical engineer."

"You are both wrong, god is a civil engineer!" exclaimed the third engineer.

"How do you know that?" the other two asked him.

He replied, "Because only a civil engineer would run a sewage line through a play ground!"

[okasha]

7. Another good one!

Thanks.