The assault always happens twice

[rug]

Nov 06 2013
by PZ Myers

Another day, another woman reports abuse from a skeptic leader. Pamela Gay describes the aftermath of being groped in a bar.

And I hate myself for wishing this would all just go away, instead of wishing that there could be justice. But I guess I fear that justice has a price I don’t have the life blood to pay for.

Over and over, I have made the choice, “what happened isn’t worth raising a stink about. Don’t ruin everyone’s [fun/con/career]“. Over and over, I’ve made the choice, “Yeah, that guy (but he was drunk!) slapped my butt in passing, but he is a leader at what he does, so I need to just get over myself and work with him.”

I hate myself for this.

http://freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/2013/11/06/the-assault-always-happens-twice/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+freethoughtblogs%2Fpharyngula+%28FTB%3A+Pharyngula%29

http://www.starstryder.com/2013/11/06/truth-against-humanity/#comments

http://www.starstryder.com/2012/07/15/make-the-world-better/

[chervilant]

1. The next few paragraphs are poignant:

I hate myself because I made the choice that not raising a fuss was more important than my self worth.

Read that again. It’s fucked up. But it’s who I am, … and when I read the hashtag #RipplesOfDoubt a few weeks ago, I realized how often we women make that decision. I’m fucked up, but I’m not alone. Too many of us fill our heads with euphemisms and excuses. It’s so much easier to think, “It’s a drunk guy being a drunk ass.” It hurts so much more to say, “I had someone try and sexually assault me.”

It’s a double strike. First there’s the assault proper, and then there’s the unwarranted guilt and self-recrimination afterwards.

Why do some people (primarily men) think it's okay or funny or whatever to touch, fondle, slap, grope, punch another human being they don't know (usually a woman)?!?

[rug]

2. It's way too common, cutting across every strata and group in society.

[IrishAyes]

3. That's only one of the many reasons I believe in women being taught how to fight.

And I don't mean 'like a girl' either. The way my brothers and later sensei taught me. Early on I got the nickname 'the Sicilian' because of my fondness for kneecaps.