Sitting At Her Son's Bedside, A Mother Re-Defines Religious Nut

[rug]

Writer Nancy Slonim Aronie recalls how another mom in the hospital with a sick child helped reveal something about herself.

by Nancy S. Aronie
November 08, 2013 4:34 PM

MELISSA BLOCK, HOST:

Health care insurance is designed to pay the bills but when we're faced with a life-threatening illness, what really sustains us? Writer Nancy Slonim Aronie was loath to turn to religion, so she was surprised by what she found next door.

NANCY SLONIM ARONIE, BYLINE: On my way into visit my son in the hospital, I always felt compelled to look into the room right before his. Maybe it was because the boy inside was young like my boy. Maybe it was that he had a mass of dark hair just like Dan's. But I think it was because there was a beautiful woman - his mother, I later found out - sitting, reading a book - the Bible, I later found out - lips moving, head down, blond hair falling across her impeccable Talbots dresses, her high heels, her stillness. When we first met she said, God knows every hair on Dan's head, every cell in his body, every thought in his mind.

I remember thinking, uh-oh, religious nutcase. I tried to put on a pleasant, I-am-not-a-judgmental-person face. Do you believe in the gospel of Jesus Christ, she asked one day when we both had to vacate our sons' rooms while the aids with DayGlo yellow hazmat suits went in to administer the drugs that they told us were keeping our boys alive. I said, actually, Jesus is one of our guys. I believe in everything, Jane. I believe in Buddha and Moses and Ram Dass and The Tin Man and Judy Blume and Oprah and crop circles.

One day I suggest we go down to the cafeteria for coffee. No, Jane says, she can't leave her son. He might wake up. It had been three months since his stroke at 24, a graduate in film from Emerson College. The day we sat by the plastic holiday decorations near the nurses' station, I told her of my Jewish Christmas envy, and she told me about her sweet, new husband. She told me how being born again was sustaining her and how she was sure Charlie would get better.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=243992045

3:58 audio at link.

[LiberalArkie]

1. Thank you for the post

[Fortinbras Armstrong]

2. When my grandson died an hour after he was born

A dear friend of mine, a Conservative Jew, sat down with my wife and me and led us in the Mourner's Kaddish.

Exalted and hallowed be God's great name
in the world which God created, according to plan.
May God's majesty be revealed in the days of our lifetime
and the life of all Israel -- speedily, imminently, to which we say, Amen.

Blessed be God's great name to all eternity.

Blessed, praised, honored, exalted, extolled, glorified, adored, and lauded
be the name of the Holy Blessed One, beyond all earthly words and songs of blessing,
praise, and comfort. To which we say, Amen.

May there be abundant peace from heaven, and life, for us and all Israel,
to which we say Amen.

May the One who creates harmony on high, bring peace to us and to all Israel.
To which we say, Amen.

He and the prayer he prayed with us were comforting. He reminded us that our faith tells us that we should live "in sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ" (as the Book of Common Prayer puts it so well). To which I say, Amen.

[rug]

3. Wow. That is so overwhemingly sad.

My second daughter was born with schizencephaly. It was not diagnosed until the day before she was born. It was agonizing listening to her heartbeat on the fetal monitor not knowing if she would live or how seriously she was impacted. She did live for 300 days though and I am glad we had that time together.