Do I owe someone an apology?
I'll seriously consider any answers from regulars in this forum. Wouldn't hang my personal business on a hay rack in the Lounge where snarkiness might result. I've got that base too well covered myself.
Here's what happened. A handyman and his wife, with whom I've been on excellent terms ever since I met them, encountered an even worse life event than usual that threatened to sink their ship. Since I have a standing repair list in their care and I did (and still do) trust them - at least basically - I offered an advance on the next job, which we all expected to commence fairly soon.
That was around a month ago, as it turned out. When my pipes froze AGAIN this year about a week ago and the burst-proof Pax pipe hadn't been installed, I called in a panic TWICE and left a message but heard nothing. I'm fortunate in that they haven't burst because I caught the situation barely in time and put little heaters under the upstairs and downstairs sinks. The cold water pipes never even froze; the hot water pipes froze but haven't burst, I know that for sure. They occasionally even drip a bit. They just won't flow.
With cold water for cooking and flushing, I've hung on for a week even though I can't take a real bath. And I must confess that the more my body stinks, the more my attitude and spirits do too. Eventually I got frantic and popped off on my FB page about it. I use a fake name since it's a public page although my RL friends know who I actually am.
The handyman's wife wanted to be FB friends too, and I told her from the beginning that nobody else in town even knew about the page so she shouldn't tell anyone, plus as always I suggested she not follow me because that would crowd her page with my political news feed which neither she nor her friends would enjoy. So far as I know, she kept the bargain until now.
However, she did decide to read my timeline at some point when she and her husband were incommunicado for a week. As you might've guessed by now, the one thread I started about my frustration and panic had to be probably the only one she ever bothered to read. Of course I didn't mention them by name and most people have no idea where I live, so my complaint had no reasonable chance of causing them public embarrassment where we live. I merely mentioned the sudden and lengthy absence and since I really was pissed off too, I wondered if it had anything to do with the fact that in reality, at the moment HE owed ME $.
It seems to be the last comment that got him mad, and I know perfectly well he never would've known what I said in discreet fashion if his wife hadn't told him. I don't think she should've done that. I wasn't pleased when he finally did call me and fuss because I could possibly think so ill of him even for a minute. Even after I assured him his wife was the only person in town who knows about the FB account and I certainly don't go around discussing my personal business with the people who live here. After he accepted that I wasn't trash talking him to the neighbors, he was still mad that I'd think ill of him at all. I said he needed to understand that leaving me in limbo and not answering either of the two messages I left on their home phone gave me reasonable cause to wonder, and I had no intention of apologizing for the fact that I panicked and popped off in the most discreet manner available to me. Also that I would not be put in a position of calling 3+ times as he expected me to because that would put me in a position of begging and/or nagging. Regardless of other faults, I don't indulge in those two. I was raised to ask once and not twice. Calling him twice had exceeded my normal limit by 100%.
But since I was really upset by that time, sniffly (not shouting - I've only done that but VERY rarely in my life and never at him) enough to say I couldn't handle any more right now and would be hanging up, he backtracked a little and about 5 minutes later called back with a near-apology. I didn't feel like I owed him one at all and didn't offer any either, although I readily agreed to a cease fire. He's promising now to come over tomorrow with the salamander. No word on when my pipes might get replaced though.
I don't want to pretend I MIGHT apologize for my FB comments which were expected to remain unknown to them and should have remained so. But I'd be more than interested in hearing feedback on what the members of this group believe I should do. Might prove beneficial if there's ever another such occasion. Although I readily agreed to the cease fire and the guy eventually said he didn't see why any of this should affect our friendship, I don't know how it could not. I'm sure we can be cordial and all that now, but breach of the trust that undergirded our friendship might be irreparable.
Truth to tell, I'm also rather dreading the visit tomorrow (if it actually happens).
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