Good listeners connect more easily with strangers, study finds

[erronis]

https://phys.org/news/2025-12-good-easily-strangers.html

With many people now heavily relying on electronic devices to communicate with others, connecting on a deeper level with others, particularly face-to-face, can prove challenging. Recent nationwide surveys and psychological studies suggest that today many people feel lonely, socially isolated and/or disconnected from others living in their same geographical area.

Understanding the factors that contribute to social connection could inform the development of more effective interventions aimed at reducing loneliness and improving people's mental health or overall well-being. As communication is generally crucial for the formation of social bonds, listening behaviors and an openness towards what others share might be key drivers of social connection.

Researchers at University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill recently carried out a study aimed at testing this hypothesis by examining the behavior of strangers engaged in conversation with each other. Their findings, published in Communications Psychology, suggest that people who engage in high-quality listening behaviors tend to feel more socially connected to others, even if they are meeting them for the first time.

. . .

To quickly respond to what others are saying, a person should, theoretically, be listening to them. This idea is what ultimately inspired the researchers to explore the relationship between listening behavior and social connection.

. . .

I know too many people who listen with their mouths (not using their ears.)

[The Roux Comes First]

1. In My Admittedly Limited Experience, the Gift of Good Listening is One of the Least Democratically-

Distributed talents.

The opposite of the "gift of gab"!

[erronis]

2. I know when I hear someone spouting I stop listening. You can tell it's a spout by the programmed patter.

Some of these spouters may have a good message but they dilute it with canned junk.

And many are actually afraid to have to answer questions or swerve from their script.

Salespeople and politicians and con artists.

[The Roux Comes First]

3. May I Add the Folks in Love with Their Own Voice?

I struggle a bit at times with this, working at being a good listener. Some voices are truly impressive, charismatic, and etc. But we all have encountered blowhards who can barely stop for breath for fear some other fabulous "voice" will steal the mic.

Get over yourselves, already! Challenge yourself to listen better and gain some understanding of the speaker, hopefully someone with a message rather than just another vain voice.

[NNadir]

4. I'd guess that must be the reason that my wife gets so many details of other people's lives.

She's a much better listener than anyone I know. I have people I've known for years, about whom I know next to nothing in terms of their deeper lives, and after my wife meets them, she knows pretty much everything, who their parents were, who their siblings were, the issues in their relationships, their educations, hopes and dreams, everything.

I recall once, when I had a difficult and sometimes secretive boss, for whom I had little sympathy. My wife met her at a company beach party, and afterwards I had more sympathy for my boss's personality because I understood whence she came. (I still made sure to get another job though.)

When I met my wife, she was extremely beautiful in the physical sense - the deeper real sense of her beauty was then unknown to me and to everyone else - the object of much puerile male attention (including mine) among the STEM guys. When I worked up the courage to talk to her, I immediately felt put at ease, and in a short time, she knew pretty much everything about me that mattered, stuff I generally didn't tell everyone or anyone. As she was dating someone else (of course) at the time, romance was initially off the table, but nonetheless we quickly became good friends, and years later, lovers, and seriously, in no time, it was no longer about her looks but about her warmth and emotional generosity.

Decades later, it still is.

She sure can listen; what's more, she sure can care about others.

Me, I have a big mouth. I could do better doing more listening and less talking, but over the long term, I do get along. I'm probably way to old to change now. Anyway, I have her to keep me in line.