I almost died last week.
Had some acute inflammation attacks and infections which led me to a deaths low bp. It is lucky that I managed to pull through with every source of strength at my disposal. At some points I was so much in pain that I begged the doctor, my family, and anyone who would listen to kill me. Only reason I'm still alive is that no one had the means not heart to kill me. I Wanted. To. Die I would have chosen it in a minute.
The first er doctor I encountered was so sure I was gonna bite it that he told the nurses to just give me whatever pain meds I wanted, to make my final times comfortable. Lucky for me,, the nurses didn't listen.
Two weeks ago was on deaths door, tomorrow I'm getting out of the hospital. All my nurses and doctors consider my amazingly fast recovery as almost miraculous. Physio lady told me she was awed at my strength. Dunno... Don't feel to strong but I want to get out of her asap.
Chemo and cancer suck man.
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I hope that your chemotherapy is successful, your pain diminishes and your cancer goes into remission because there are people that care about you--particularly your family. Hopefully you will be discharged soon.
I've never interacted with you before so I don't know whether you are an atheist or an agnostic, but if it is the latter then maybe you should consider your recovery as divine intervention (no intention to insult or demean your personal beliefs). I don't know if I can offer much other comfort, but about five months ago I attempted to take my own life so I wanted to reach out to you and encourage you to keep up the fight. One thing that I learned about DU is that there is always somewhere out there to offer support 24/7. 
You do realize what group you are in, right? 
But people throw the term "miraculous" around loosely, so maybe some of the hospital staff using the term did and some did not.
In any case, I hope you hang in there and can find happiness. You are not a burden to your family and I am sure they would be devastated were you to leave them!
I don't mean to be holier-than-thou (pun intended) about the concept of divine intervention but for some reason it bugs me a lot (I think because it is so common and to me it is just a give-god-a-pass-on-everything kind of way of thinking). But, hey, it's a discussion board, soooooo ... we discuss stuff.
I've wanted to check out before and have the scars to prove it so I understand.
Same goes for you, if you need to talk I will listen.
but I am glad that you did not succeed in taking your life. Don't allow yourself to fall that low again....because we all have value. Stay away from anyone who doesn't let your value shine through.
I am also sorry you took some heat here, because I can see that your intentions were noble.....you really cared. That matters.
BTW, I think that Evoman's comment about the nurses and doctors thinking that his recovery was "miraculous" was tongue in cheek, because he knows that it was his strength or willpower that got him through. But I know you meant well.
Sorry it's so hard.
So glad you're still with us.
I DO understand. (pretty much) . I once had kidney stones that caused me to pass out 11 times in 4 hours.
The pain was so great I actually was going to go buy a gun....my friends stopped THAT shit.
Glad to hear you'll be with us. 
Man am I sorry to hear what you've been through! Good thing you've got good fight in you! Looking forward to your future posts and tales of great strides in recovery.
We are here for you! 
Julie
It's awful you had to endure so much agony, but here you are. Well done, Evoman! 
Like I said, you should just bask in your awesomeness.
You've made these people feel good too!
And you've made us DUers smile, just knowing you're still around.
Let us know how your chemo is going and how you feel.
You keep fighting E-Man. 
It's really, really good to see you around.
I'm sure glad you didn't
Chemo does suck! I can really really empathize with you! When you are sick and in horrendous pain, you can run gamut of emotions.
If you ever need to talk please feel free to pm me.
Don't ever give up...please
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What doesn't kill you.....
Doesn't kill you!!!
Your attitude and strength of will BLOW ME AWAY!!!
That sound like a horrible time.
I'm so sorry you are going through this.
(and enjoy your PS4 )
I had a life threatening illness back in 2011 in another state and another city. 8 days in ICU in another state and another city. I was panting violently, could hardly walk due to the exertion, and couldn't figure out why. I was in ketoacidosis which was another reason for the hyperventilating. I'd been losing weight from the diabetes and thought that was a good thing.
I had blood clots in my lungs & uncontrolled diabetes, (blood sugar over 600 and O2 saturation at 85%--not good) and that is quite scary. Meantime I am paying them off a few dollars a month. It will be in their best interest to keep me alive for another 100 years because at this rate, that's how long it will take to pay it off.
I remember the doctor standing at the foot of my bed in the ER after they had hooked me up to several IVs and saying, "You are moderately to critically ill". I had two illnesses and either one could or would have killed me in 24 hours.
I was not healed by god. I was healed by SMART doctors and nurses who were all scholars. One of my doctors was both a doctor and a pharmacist. Even the guys who came in and poured pee into buckets were nursing students working on their BSRN. I encouraged all of the students. Congratulated them on imminent graduation.
In turn, the nurses seemed to be impressed by my attitude and my husband's spending the night with me in the room. They thought we were both remarkable people. I told them "We're going to get through this." 
