"Worst" Christian album covers ever -- if by "worst" I mean "best"!

[Arugula Latte]

Maybe some of you sinning godless heathens just need a good listen to some of this vinyl to turn your lives around...

Some of these on the site have gotten a lot of mileage ("Ken" & "Let Me Touch Him&quot but here are some other holy peeps gettin' freaky in the name of Jeeesus:











Many more here:

http://lazyspleen.blogspot.com/2013/08/embarrassingly-bad-album-covers.html

[Curmudgeoness]

1. Well, I'm glad this isn't a poll.

I would never be able to decide which was the "best". I have seen a few of these before, but they certainly are creepy.

[ret5hd]

2. Man oh man...you have cursed me with...

the start of a new hobby. The "collecting old creepy xtian albums covers" hobby. Damn you, Arugula! Damn you all to hell!

[Arugula Latte]

9. You're welcome!

*curtsy*

[ChairmanAgnostic]

13. LOL!

Some of those are so creepy, that I may not sleep ever again.

[progressoid]

3. Some of those are on youtube...

Thanks for the link. There are a bunch there I hadn't seen before. T

Thank God that we don't wear clothes like that anymore.


Rock on

[olddots]

4. didn't the Faith Tones headline at the Comedy Store 38 times ?

abstract comedy at its best .

[A HERETIC I AM]

23. The Faith Tones make me turgid. n/t

[packman]

5. I keep telling you people

God has a sense of humor.

[Hoppy]

7. Mark Twain agreed, God has a sense of humor.

He made Mary Baker Eddy

[Hoppy]

6. My favorite is Erick.

I could listen to his praise of The Lawd all day long.

[Arugula Latte]

11. Praise the Lawd AND drink water.

[onager]

8. A few more...

You can probably shelter them under the polyester tents those women are wearing. And note that like our friends The Faith Tones, those women are rocking the popular vintage hairstyle called "A Yak Shit On My Head."



A walking Amber Alert if I ever saw one:



Uh-oh. With Rev. Jay Snell it's a WHOLE THEME:



But apparently Jesus hates anything resembling a fashion sense:



Finally, a couple of old friends. The ones with the air-conditioned doghouse:

[Arugula Latte]

10. How much ya wanna bet that Jim Bakker was a plushie?

Also, Wayne, with his coat of many colors and patches, has a bit of a Ryan Gosling "Hey Girl" thang going on ... if Ryan Gosling were a bit dorkier, a bit more Christian-y, horribly dressed, with helmet hair and a bad 'stache.

[onager]

17. Tammy looks almost normal in that shot.

Apart from the usual Yak-Shit-On-My-Head hairstyle. But at least no mascara applied via dump truck, or enough pancake makeup to bury three corpses in her face.

Jim looks like a sleazy used-car salesman, but that's normal for a lot of preachers IMO.

"Now this here is GREAT CAR! My old grandma herself only drove it to church once a week..."

"But the odometer is broken, all four tires are slick, the radiator's steaming, and it looks like there's water in the oil, so the block is probably cracked..."

"Well, so what? Just BELIEVE when I tell you it's a good car. Unless you want me to think you're one of them godless Commie evidence-demanding atheists or something..."

[Lordquinton]

12. My grandparents had a couch that looked like Wayne's jacket

And my Grandpa had a jacket that clashed perfectly with the couch. The 70's was a grand and glorious time for people with no style.

[Arugula Latte]

19. I used to sport a Yak Shit 'do back in the day.

Then I got a Dorothy Hamill. Then a Farrah Fawcett. Then "The Rachel."

[deucemagnet]

24. What sick bastard upholstered the Webb Gospel Singers?

Q: What's the difference between the Webb Gospel Singers and a couch?

A: An atheist can jump on the couch.

[1bigdude]

14. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for this! Nt

[Arugula Latte]

20. Glad you like.

And welcome to our little cesspool of damnation and godlessness.

[Rob H.]

15. Some of these are hilarious

This one is just flat-out terrifying, though.

[Arugula Latte]

18. I couldn't even bear to post that one in the OP.

Mommeeee ... Voldemort is back. And he's a Christian.

[JDDavis]

16. Thank you for this thread.

I never knew what Jim and Tammy looked like back in the good old days.

[Warren Stupidity]

21. I spent a summer living in a small town in upstate new york that had people

who looked just like the Faith Tones. It turns out that there had been an unfortunate outbreak of multi-generational inbreeding and that the town had an exceptionally large population of village idiots. It was actually a really nice town, Tivoli, but I'm sure it has been all gentrified by now and wrecked.

[Arugula Latte]

22. I would have liked to have run a "beauty parlor" in that town back then.

You'd rake it in. ... The hairspray on these folks alone was probably what started the ball rolling on global warming, though.

[onager]

27. I remember the smell of those places.

WTF was that, anyway? The "beauty parlors" always smelled like they had a pile of decomposing skunks under the floor.

Was it some kind of stuff they used in the "permanents?" Which weren't permanent at all, since they had to be re-done every couple of weeks. Crap, another Eternal Mystery for me to wonder about.

I got stuck in these places with my Mom, when I was too little to argue about it. I could usually get a new comic book or two out of the deal, a bribe so I would sit quietly for the 96 hours or so it took for the process.

But that worked out well. Most people pay no attention to a kid sitting quietly. With his ears wide open. So I often knew exactly whose husband had gone on a bender, who left with who-ette last Saturday at the VFW Club, and exactly which married Deacon was trying to boink which recent widow down at the church.

[Arugula Latte]

28. I remember that stench.

Yes, I think it was the permanent chemicals. Yech.

Remember those big-ass dryers the ladies would sit under? That was some Space Age stuff right there.

We had one of these gizmos for the home:

[onager]

29. Ha! I remember those.

My mother had one, and my aunts & cousins. As I remember, they didn't much appreciate future astronauts using the bottom part as a Spaceman Ray Gun.

But you're right, the dryers in the beauty parlors were awesome. Huge sleek monsters that looked like they could suck you right up and transport you to another dimension, where Rod Serling was waiting for you.

Stylish too. I remember some of those dryers in nifty metallic colors like Kandy Apple Red, with more chrome than a '58 Buick.

[deucemagnet]

25. Thank you for the image that will haunt my nightmares for years to come.

This is creepy on several levels.

[onager]

26. That image has truly led me to ponder the Mysterious Ways of the Lord.

It has also led me to ponder whole new meanings of the word "woody."