Finally finishing grieving process (perhaps)

[Demeter]

Lost mother in 1998, father in 2013, brother last November.

We weren't good on communication in our family: too many mixed messages, mind-reading, tongue-biting. But I have come to the conclusion that yes, our parents loved us children, to the best of their ability, and we loved each other despite so many differences. And I loved my brother, although he was a difficult person.

It's hard in a family with 6 strong and widely varying personalities, in a time of social and economic upheaval, to see the bonds are there. But they were, and are.

The lost ones did their best, and now, perhaps, I can let them rest in peace. It's not acceptance, I've accepted the loss; it's the depression, the lack of resolution and the end of the relationship.

I've found this site helpful: http://www.recover-from-grief.com/7-stages-of-grief.html

[DeadLetterOffice]

1. Persoanlly, I have found...

... that accepting the limitations of the ones I've loved has indeed made some of the more conflicted and intense feelings more bearable.

Don't know that I would ever call the grieving process 'finished' though -- I think there is always some part of us that misses some part of them. And that's ok.

Deepest condolences on your losses, and hopes for your return to peace.

DLO

[Demeter]

2. Thank you

As soon as I can go a day without crying for myself, I'll be all right. It's the self-pity; it's embarrassing as well as pointless.

[DeadLetterOffice]

3. Self-pity...

... is just a nasty word for word for recognizing that we've lost something and reacting to that loss. Be kind to yourself, and cut yourself some slack (hard if you weren't raised to that, but if I can learn it...).