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mopinko

(70,102 posts)
Fri Oct 6, 2017, 10:46 AM Oct 2017

welp, my sister is in hospice.

she has ms and has spent the last decade in a nursing home.
she is unable to swallow, and is now suffering from malnutrition. her cognitive function has pretty much totally failed.
she came down w a serious infection, dont know what sort. she was moved to the hospital, and her family decided it was time. she either needed a permanent ng tube, w no hope that it was really going to improve things, or it was time for hospice.

going out to see her today. she is an hour and a half w/o traffic away. i confess i have not made that trek often enough. it is really hard for me. we are peas in a pod. it is like looking into a mirror for me. so very difficult.

nobody wants the "life" she has had for the last decade. i know we are all relieved that she will soon suffer no more.
this is the first of the siblings to go. of the 7 of us, most are in good health and active. i am the 6th, so i know this will not be the last one to go before me.

she was someone who had great promise, smart and a wonderful artist. between the chains of motherhood, and this stupid disease, she has been robbed of much.
i dont believe in any kind of afterlife, so i do not have that comfort. but i do know that sometimes life is so awful that the alternative is preferable. this is one of those times.

19 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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welp, my sister is in hospice. (Original Post) mopinko Oct 2017 OP
So sorry to hear of this, Mo NRaleighLiberal Oct 2017 #1
My thoughts are with you. riverbendviewgal Oct 2017 #2
So sorry a meaningful life was cut short. Peace be with you and your family. Fla Dem Oct 2017 #3
yes, the hardest part is what could have/should have been her life. mopinko Oct 2017 #5
Hugs to you il_lilac Oct 2017 #4
No truer thoughts or feelings. My best to you. kairos12 Oct 2017 #6
((((((((mopinko))))))) I know words don't really help at times like this, but know that your DU niyad Oct 2017 #7
I'm so sorry. mountain grammy Oct 2017 #8
(((mopinko))) irisblue Oct 2017 #9
Hopefully the end will be Scarsdale Oct 2017 #10
So sorry, Mopinko. Granny M Oct 2017 #11
There's a distinction between life and merely existence lexington filly Oct 2017 #12
Joining in with the group hug bearssoapbox Oct 2017 #13
such a dreadful disease Skittles Oct 2017 #14
Oh dear. MuseRider Oct 2017 #15
thanks for all the love. mopinko Oct 2017 #16
Hang in there sellitman Oct 2017 #17
I'm sorry Mo. Big hugs easttexaslefty Oct 2017 #18
I am so sorry for the sadness and for all that she has been through with this terrible disease. Tanuki Oct 2017 #19

Fla Dem

(23,666 posts)
3. So sorry a meaningful life was cut short. Peace be with you and your family.
Fri Oct 6, 2017, 10:55 AM
Oct 2017

As you said, sometime the better path is to end the suffering whatever waits for us on the other side.

mopinko

(70,102 posts)
5. yes, the hardest part is what could have/should have been her life.
Fri Oct 6, 2017, 11:17 AM
Oct 2017

so much talent lost to the way motherhood treats so many of us.

niyad

(113,302 posts)
7. ((((((((mopinko))))))) I know words don't really help at times like this, but know that your DU
Fri Oct 6, 2017, 12:56 PM
Oct 2017

family is here for you, if there is anything we can do.

Scarsdale

(9,426 posts)
10. Hopefully the end will be
Fri Oct 6, 2017, 01:26 PM
Oct 2017

peaceful and easy. Please do not beat yourself up for not visiting often enough. We do what we can, taking care of our own families, too. I was the youngest of 7, and the only one left. We had our disagreements, but never let an outsider get into out business!! We did not have much, but we had each other. I hope your sister is in a peaceful, quiet environment when you see her. Tell her it is alright to leave. Hugs to you, stay strong.

lexington filly

(239 posts)
12. There's a distinction between life and merely existence
Fri Oct 6, 2017, 01:50 PM
Oct 2017

to me. I'm sorry your sister has suffered so and in turn, you and your family.

bearssoapbox

(1,408 posts)
13. Joining in with the group hug
Fri Oct 6, 2017, 02:25 PM
Oct 2017

Words seem so inadequate at times like these but having the group energy and empathy, in my experiences anyway, really seems to help.

I do hope though, that her passing is quiet and peaceful.

For you, and your family.

Take care.



MuseRider

(34,109 posts)
15. Oh dear.
Fri Oct 6, 2017, 04:15 PM
Oct 2017

Mopinko, sending hugs and support. I know you are such a good person, this must hurt so. Please lean on us if you need.

I am so sorry. Losing a sibling is hard, especially one who is a mirror.

mopinko

(70,102 posts)
16. thanks for all the love.
Fri Oct 6, 2017, 10:55 PM
Oct 2017

it means so much. it really does.

went out to see her today. she is as cognizant as she has been, recognized me, and my dog biff, who she only met once. she couldnt quite manage to pet him, tho.
able to answer yes/no questions, but barely able to move.
i think it will still be a while, unless she gets sick again.
but her son asked her if she was ready to go be with our mom, and she said yes.

so frustrating to know that if she got sick today, instead of 20 years ago, the outcome would likely be so different.

sellitman

(11,606 posts)
17. Hang in there
Sat Oct 7, 2017, 06:26 AM
Oct 2017

I know how hard it is. We are watching my Dad who is not doing well in his last days.

It can get you down but your sister will be not be suffering soon. That's what we can take from it. It will do.

Tanuki

(14,918 posts)
19. I am so sorry for the sadness and for all that she has been through with this terrible disease.
Fri Oct 13, 2017, 12:06 AM
Oct 2017

Peace and blessings to you and to your entire family. I hope the time she has left will be comfortable and may she feel the presence of love all around her.

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