"The magnitude and bottomlessness of the pain you feel is a testament to the love you shared."

[Kind of Blue]

I read that quote shortly after my Mom died, in an article describing the death of the author's Mom. Somehow, he put feelings in context for me and it helped. I hope it helps others here, too, because she is our first love. As he wrote, "For the first time in my life, I know sorrow. I've felt sadness, deep sadness, but this is another thing."

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/mar/03/we-dont-lose-our-mothers-reality-more-violent-that-that

[Kittycow]

1. Thanks for posting that.

I haven't lost a parent yet but I'm coming up to bat since they're both in their nineties.

I did lose my son in 2011 and while I'm "used to it" now, the post title quote is a nice salve for the days my heart scars hurt.

ETA:. I hope that I'm not speaking out of turn since the topic is about mothers. Today the quote really resonated with me.

[Kind of Blue]

2. You're so welcome. I'm very, very sorry for your loss.

When I was reading the article, I was thinking it perfectly describes the gut wrenching pain of losing anyone deeply loved and what to prepare for to cope with that. I thought it is appropriate here because I've seen two or three posts recently of members losing their Moms.

I'm so glad that your parents are still with you. Get as many stories that you can from them. That's one thing I miss badly, not being able to ask any more questions from 2 people who were so full of life.

[Kittycow]

3. My sincere condolences to you as well.

I saw the posters losing their mothers also and while it did touch my heart, I didn't really understand how bad it is until I read the linked article.

Then I thought, holy shit, it's that bad so I'm glad that I know now so I can be more prepared.

We've been discussing a lot of family lore the last couple years. But when we kids retell it, we always have different versions so we better go back to the source again and write it down

That's good advice.

[emmaverybo]

4. Thank you for posting this. Most of the time nothing much helps except to know that others have

been through this, making what is so lonely a bit less so.

[Kind of Blue]

5. Thank you so much, emmaverybo, because this is a welcome synchroncity.

This early afternoon, I decided to hang laundry to dry on our clothes lines instead of the dryer. My husband offered to help, Yay! But then I hesitated to do so because a gorgeous khaki dress my mom had given me simply vanished the last time I did that. And I broke, almost 3 years after her death as if her passing happened last night.

Your response made me smile and weep, feel a little less alone because you understand the magnitude of that love. And that is what always overrides the loss

[emmaverybo]

6. Thank you so very much for sharing this with me. It resonates and I will often reflect on what

you just said.