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Fri May 4, 2012, 10:57 AM

Well time finally ran out.

She had an iron constitution and entered her last year of life 10 years ago at the age of 86.

She was one of those strong willed women from the depression that wasn't going to let her body tell her when she was going to come or go.

A few years ago when she agonized about her condition (blind and bed ridden and in constant pain) her conscious mind joined her body in wanting to end the ordeal.

Her iron constitution wasn't going to let either her body or her mind tell her when she was going to come or go either and she continued on eating a few bites of ice cream a day and a couple of months ago she entered into her last "24 hours".

The doctors however never knew her like we did. When she stopped eating a week ago and they told us to start making final arrangements we knew that we still had plenty of time.

A month ago we took our Golden Retriever and put him to sleep. It took 2 minutes and it was so gentle.

I can still hear my mother coming home from visiting a cousin who lingered the same way she did. This was 40 years ago.

She made us all promise to never let her linger like that.

She hated it. We all agreed and we all promised but there was nothing we could do.

If there was it was doubtful that anyone would have done anything, we learned in childhood that you never argued with her constitution.

She was a stern and distant mother and yet to her friends was a great and supportive friend. We could never understand the dichotomy and all of her friends thought she was the model mother. She proved it by ouliving all of her friends. Even her care giver grew old and needed a care giver.

It was a different time and they just don't make them like that anymore.

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Reply Well time finally ran out. (Original post)
grantcart May 2012 OP
Viva_La_Revolution May 2012 #1
cliffordu May 2012 #2
DevonRex May 2012 #3
GreenPartyVoter May 2012 #4
47of74 May 2012 #7
goclark May 2012 #5
auntAgonist May 2012 #6

Response to grantcart (Original post)

Fri May 4, 2012, 11:29 AM

1. I'm sorry.

It's very difficult to watch this happen in slow motion.

prayers for your family

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Response to grantcart (Original post)

Fri May 4, 2012, 12:48 PM

2. Sorry for your loss my good friend...

There is no way to adequately prepare for it.

Call me if you need or want to talk,

c

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Response to grantcart (Original post)

Fri May 4, 2012, 12:54 PM

3. No, they don't make them like that anymore.

I'm sorry she was stern and distant to you kids. I'm sure she was sorry she was, too. That generation of women was sort of the last of those who knew that many children didn't survive childhood and sometimes it's better not to get too close. Some were actually taught that by their own mothers who had lost too many children of their own. I don't know if that's the case with your mum. Just a thought, though. My own mother lost siblings as infants. And then the depression came along. And then WWII.

Their perspective was certainly different than our own, wasn't it? It makes me very grateful for my really sweet grandmothers. How did they do it, having gone through the same things? But they did.

I'm so sorry for your loss. And for the loss of your Golden, too.

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Response to grantcart (Original post)

Fri May 4, 2012, 04:31 PM

4. My Dad always feared lingering too. Alzheimer's runs in the family and he

was afraid of "losing his mind." Used to tell me that if I ever saw him take a turn like that, to take him out behind the house and shoot him.

I wish there was some way people could be allowed to have dignity at the end of their lives, rather than being forced to hang on for as long as possible, regardless of the circumstances.

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Response to GreenPartyVoter (Reply #4)

Fri May 25, 2012, 09:33 PM

7. I watched my grandma go down hill

 

And when the end did come for her I was relieved. It and my own health challenges that year changed how I saw death too, it's not the end, it's not a defeat, and it's better for a person to go than to suffer needlessly just because you don't want them to leave. Two years later we had all that Schiavo horse-bleep going on. It irritated me that these people were trying to force Terri to exist suspended between this world and the next. It irritated me that they were using Terri as a means to gain political support. I made sure to get my living will made right away and filed it with every hospital, doctor's office, and clinic I could think of in the area in order to say that I don't want to be kept alive if I'm in a coma that I'm not coming out of and for the reich wing pigs to stay the hell out of me and my family's business.

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Response to grantcart (Original post)

Fri May 4, 2012, 06:39 PM

5. My heart goes out to you

A beautiful and touching Memory of your Mother.
I felt as if I knew her when I read each word.
My key board is wet from my tears.
I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and in my prayers.
Your pal,
goclark

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Response to grantcart (Original post)

Fri May 4, 2012, 11:35 PM

6. They certainly don't make them like that anymore.

A strong constitution got them through so many hardships and trials.

I'm terribly sorry that she was stern and distant. I'd hazard a guess though that she loved her family dearly.

May you find some comfort in her strength.


I'm sorry for your loss.

aA
kesha

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