Grief makes families do stupid stuff.

My Aunt on my Mother's side recently passed away.

She was a wonderful person who opened her home to so many of the family for so many reasons. She was in ill health for a long time and her DIL was caring for her and her own 84 year old Mother.

My Sister sent flowers on a monthly basis and was asked to stop as this was "too much" for the DIL. Even flower cards were "too much" so my Sister complied even though our Aunt said on every occasion that these flowers made her feel loved and that she did not get any direct contact like that from other family members.

My Aunt had a stroke and while in the hospital they decided she needed a pace maker. She wanted to decline. She wanted to die. She wanted to go home to Heaven.

She got a pace maker and the DIL continued to feel the stress. It's been 3-4 months and Hospice stepped in and the DIL was under less stress. I don't know how long Hospice was involved, but my Sister still cared and kept in contact, speaking twice to my Aunt recently.

For my Sister's love and care, she has been told she is banned from the funeral and is not to send flowers. Not only that she is supposedly overstepped the "real" family's grief when she found out on my Aunt's facebook page that she passed by saying my Aunt passed away prayers etc.... Because supposedly it is the right/responsibility of the "real" family to do that FIRST.

Now it wasn't the DIL who banned my Sister, but my older cousin interceding on her behalf.

Now I want to go to the funeral and just glare at them, put some roses on the casket for myself and my sister and if they try to turn ME away, throw the shame bomb at them for their non-Christian behavior. I won't, but visualizing doing crazy theatrical stuff is a way to de-stress so I don't have to do stupid stuff.

Funny thing is my Sister and I had an argument when my Mom passed (we DID get through the funeral, though) and didn't talk to each other for a year. The fact that we got past it and are now closer than ever and I admire and respect her so much I want to go and take care of these idiots on her behalf is VERY ironic.

There are SO MANY SKELETONS in our family closet that I COULD make the entire family suffer for years and years if I so chose.

But that wouldn't be very nice or Christian of me.

Instead, I am leaving it up to God to teach these yokels the error of their ways and Karma is a real bitch. They think their lives so far have been hard?

Anyone who thinks they have the right to ban another family member from a funeral for simply loving and expressing that love to the person deceased is already on a crazy train and heading for the cliff.

Guess I will just pull up a seat and watch the show.