My Mom died today in 2023 and I am not doing well

[irisblue]

Last edited Mon Oct 13, 2025, 09:15 AM - Edit history (1)

I did order flowers for my sister In-Law Kim. She took care of our Mom for 35+ years.
I did order flowers, separately for my brother, her husband.
I did send a card to my rotten brother. He sucks as a brother & as a human, but he was her golden child.
My sister & I talked, a lot this weekend over various things. I am blessed by her

Thank you my DU family. I am blessed by you all

[2naSalit]

1. Condolences...

I hope you can get to a place of calm and peace about this. Complex family issues are often brought to the surface during times like this.

[Joinfortmill]

2. Mom is watching over you.

[DeeDeeNY]

3. Sending good thoughts and feelings to you

The best way I've found to counteract difficult feelings on the anniversary of a loved one's death is to dwell on the happy times.

[bucolic_frolic]

4. Condolences to you

Everyone heals at their own pace. You have great inner strength to reach out to your family, and can build upon that. I've found that the events that shaped us are slow to surface, repressed even. It takes time to recognize and process them. Time and communication are all we have.

[gademocrat7]

5. Condolences, irisblue

Sending you hugs and love.💙

[hlthe2b]

6. I'm sorry, irisblue. I'm glad you have your sister.

May a sense of peace come to you and ease your pain...

[irisblue]

7. My sister is a real one. I have loved & hated her for 66 years. She told me the same

I am blessed

[barbtries]

8. you're grieving.

it's a process. lean into it, cry, write, feel. It gets better, i promise.

[Maraya1969]

9. I am so sorry. Losing your mom is one of the hardest things I have ever gone througfh

It does get better but not as fast as you would hope.

I wish for you the Peace that passes understanding.

[area51]

10. I'm so sorry.

[Lonestarblue]

11. Anniversaries are hard. Sending good vibes your way.

[cate94]

12. Grief is difficult

You’ll be doing great and then it’ll knock you down. Anniversaries are particularly hard. I’m sorry you hurt. Sending good thoughts and prayers your way.

[DarthDem]

13. I'm so very sorry

RIP to your mother. She must have been wonderful to affect you so deeply. I'm truly glad that you are able to talk to your sister so well.

[amazona10]

14. moms

You will carry her forever and are already communicating...bless you especially today as Iyou cause me to remember my own mom I lost 30 years ago,

[surfered]

15. You will always have your memories

[surfered]

39. My mother passed away in 2008. It was a blessing. She had end stage dementia and did not talk.

Her eyes looked like two black holes in the sky. There was nobody there. It made her death easier to accept.

[no_hypocrisy]

16. I felt somewhat comforted when I began to realize that my mother

(also deceased) lives through me. She isn't "dead". I'm accomplishing things that she wanted for herself and for me. I am her legacy. No, she wasn't perfect, and neither am I. But I understood her better than our father and my siblings. And yes, I see her in the mirror in my face. She's here.

[Tetrachloride]

33. my mom liked soup

so i try some every week

[murielm99]

17. I have a golden child brother

and so does my husband. They do tend to suck. Hang in there. You are a good person.

[Trueblue Texan]

18. I'm sorry you are struggling...

...Sending you thoughts of kindness, healing, and clarity. I think you deserve some flowers.

[samplegirl]

19. I'm so sorry for your loss

Losing my mom was so horrible as she lived with us for 10 years. My siblings never lifted a finger.
And that made it tough.
My sister in law helped when ever she could.
Families are so strange now.

[ashredux]

20. It takes awhile...your sadness will evolve into all the happiness you shared

I’ve been there…

[Collimator]

21. My heart goes out to you.

Seek out the beauty and kindness in the world and imagine sharing that with your mom.

[multigraincracker]

22. Celebrate your good memories.

Sending love and peace your way.

[Dear_Prudence]

23. Take care

I bought myself a card when I lost my dad; I had not received any. It is in my top desk drawer-I still read it to myself from time to time. Maybe you could buy some flowers for yourself. If we were real-life neighbors, I would send some flowers to you. 🌹

[sunflowerseed]

24. Sendingmetta

I miss my poppy so bad sometimes but I'm always grateful I still have and feel his love.

[SheltieLover]

25. Deepest condolences, Iris.

I'm sure your mom is right beside you.

Healing vibes on the way to you.

[marble falls]

26. You seem to be doing better than you think. It's hard but we do pull through. Prayers and good wishes to you.

[Diamond_Dog]

27. Sending hugs, irisblue.

[Karadeniz]

28. Were sorry for the grief.....i had a mother for whom i didnt grieve.

[SheltieLover]

29. Here are some flowers for wonderful you, Iris.

💐🌸🪷🏵🌹🌺🌻🌼🌷

[Fla Dem]

30. She'll always be in your heart.

I lost my Mom when I was in my late 20's. I think of her often and occasionally talk to her. Sometimes out loud, sometimes just in my mind. It was hard the first few years, no doubt about it. But if you had a loving relationship with her, she'll always be with you.
Peace to you.

[Clouds Passing]

31. Comfort and nurturing to you, irisblue 💖💚

[Wicked Blue]

32. Anniversaries are hard

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[TygrBright]

34. Big hug, holding you in my heart.

My dear Mom passed December 5th, 2023 and I'm increasingly aware of how lengthy and individualized the grieving process is.

It's the unfinished conversations, the unasked questions, that hang in my consciousness sometimes.

And now it's also the reflections on what she left me with, and what that means to me, and how it might help as well as push the sorrow buttons.

But I still ugly-cry from time to time.

Stay strong. It's not an easy loss.

lovingly,
Bright

[Luvcatz14]

35. I'm so sorry!

My mom died about a year ago. She had vascular dementia and I just carry a lot of guilt. She lived w us for a long time and it was very hard. The doctor wanted her in assisted living and we tried that but she went downhill so quickly there and eventually had a major stroke. It just felt like there were no right decisions that we could have made. Anniversaries are hard. Sending thoughts your way! You’re not alone in this sort of grief. ❤️

[EuterpeThelo]

36. Hugs to you, irisblue...

Lost my mama in 2021 just eleven months after I had to bury the love of my life without a goodbye. I wish I could say it gets easier but I don't want to lie. No words can help with that loss and we are never the same without our mothers. Just be gentle to yourself.

[mwmisses4289]

37. 🫂 gentle hug to you and your family

[LoisB]

38. I am so sorry about your Mom. Grief has no expiration date.